Mar 2009 Archive, part b

It's marked parody. They're still more than a "little" OOC though.

Of all of the characters in that movie, Shifu?!

*headdesk*

There are no words. There are a few letters, though and they are W, T, and F.

She doesn't even change herself into some sort of animal when she arrives.
Rraghrr!
I liked Shifu. Poor guy.

Well, at least they didn't mangle Zuko too much, but Mai and Azula... WEESHT they're OOC. It's quite annoying when people use amnesia as an excuse to completely reverse a character's personality. And Toph fighting in a dress like THAT.

I understand this person's hatred for Mai, though. At first, I HATED Maiko because it was just completely out of nowhere and creepy, but when Mai saved their bacon in The Boiling Rock Pt. 2 (with that killer awesome line, 'What are you doing?' 'Saving the jerk who dumped me.'), I thought, "Well... OKAY... I...GUESS I'm okay with it..." I was grudgingly supportive, more due to my undying loyalty to the canon than anything else, until the last episode with that scene between Zuko and Mai, where I gave in and squeed at the fluff.

I actually had an idea for an Avatar fic with elements of both Maiko AND Zutara, but the former is the OTP whereas the latter is a one-night stand that both of them regret with every fiber of their being.

... What did that have to do with anything? Crap, I was rambling again. Apologies.

Please kill that comic. Every other panel is the same... brain hurts.

Oooooh dear, I've heard of this one. Can the PPC take on comics? It has the most OOC Mai I've ever seen. Possible character replacement? Either way, Katara kills her in a way that would make Mr. Selatcia proud.

Hmm...

I did catch a mini on pg. 63 (Toph Befong instead of Beifong) The clothing and some speech is anachronistic (anasocistic? Is that even a word?) and there's definitely some major problems with the characterization. I'm less worried about Toph since three years can change people, and I can see her growing up a bit (she was only 12-13 in the series and three years makes a HUGE difference at that age.) I have to say that I'm not particularly fond of the Agnst!Drama! tone that the main characters have, especially in contrast to the minor characters who all seem to have become happy-go-lucky.

The art doesn't really bother me. It's obvious that the author is at least trying - although the random photo-realism is a little disconcerting. No one said that copying and pasting was an absolute no-no for comics. (See: http://www.qwantz.com/) There might be some copyright issues with using actual images from the series sans disclaimer though.

Also: Aang's head bothers me.
There's a bunch of proportion/perspective issues, but they're not as bad as some I've seen (and drawn myself!) but Aang's head is... really bad.


As to PPC-ability, my vote is that it should be fine if you want to try and take it on. It's the Plot Continuum, not the Protectors of the Writing Continuum. Maybe there's a separate fan-comic division? Doushinji are typically well written, but I'm sure there's a few lemons out there that could use some PPCing.

I haven't seen this story before and it is truly massive. Thank you for writing. It is nice to see something about the PPC other than missions.

HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.

And it is even more awesome than I thought it would be.

And and and...

*smacked down by her sensible OFUTRC alter-ego*

Miss Cass: Sorry. She's overexcited right now. I'll let her post a more coherent reply when she's calmed down.

What Impact would it have on the Mirror Multiverse, though?

Crowning Moment of Awesome for Kayleigh...
Looks like we'll finally get to see what happened to Joruuus Cbaoth...

also 'get a pot' FTW.

That's really awesome.

Maybe the writer Ron Miller was in fact Jim Theis, who published this book under a pseudonym to escape the unfortunate notoriety The Eye of Argon gave him. Does Spikenard then kills Bronwyn by "sheathing a foot of blinding steel in her organs of sight, sprinkling the dismal alley with her escaping life fluid"?

I personally would not want to screw someone whose tongue has stinging cells on it.
But maybe that's just me.

Okay, the fics are very short, the best way to do it would probably be one mission for the lot of them. Ninja Academy and School of Dark Moon appear to be original fic (though still flagrant Mary Sues), but Hello Smexy has Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Itachi and Sesshoumaru, and The Door has Dante of Devil may Cry.

Impressive. Three uses of the word mysterious in two sentences, and that's just in the summary. This sounds like it's gonna be bad.

How about finding a way to place them in a comalike state?

(Like what happened to God in Dogma.)

How the heck does one do a mission in the Happy Tree Friends universe? You can't kill the things, I don't know if their author-wraiths share their invulnerability ...

Oh, one little question: Do I have to wait a month on the nose, or can I ask at the beginning of next month?

Relden's working on a Space Marine agent. When he meets Chliever, there's gonna be SPARKS.

My Agent profiles are now up on my nice Nurgle-colored Livejournal: http://agent-chliever.livejournal.com/550.html#cutid1

Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs, but author wraiths and spambots as well! Use it for good and not evil.

Welcome to the insanity!

When you figure out what they do, please let me know!

Nice to meet you. Can't wait to see your first mission plug.

BTW, will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or a Response Center?

Thank you sacrificing your sanity and social life for the sake of the continuum. Would you like a cookie?

New blood! (Or is that "ichor"?) Have some chai tea and a free hug. Come back if you need more.
-Mad Maudlin

Ah, more fresh blood! Welcome, my fellow new meat. You will be thrown to the dogs once the paperwork is processed.

In other words, you should be fine. As I'm still new myself and have nothing to hand out yet, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!

(In all honesty, great to meetcha!)

Hey, welcome to the Board~.

As is what I do- when no one else takes the chance from me, I present you, the newbie, with a Pile of Links.

For your viewing pleasure, I direct you firstly to the PPC Wiki, and for a nice follow up, the Board Constitution. We usually like our newbies to stick around awhile, at least a month, before they start writing missions, so we can get to know them better. ;)

And before you get so gungho on starting missions, here's the Board FAQ, as well as the handy page on Permission.

Aside from that, huzzah and hurrah and welcome.

Lj-cutting is a simple matter of html tags, or, in the not-html-editor that I can't remember the precise description of, only a click or two. There is a tutorial in the help section, I believe; that's how I learned to do it.

So many people in 40k, I'm beginning to think I should familiarize myself!

But to the point: I've not seen you around before, and despite my lack of talkativeness, I do pay attention. Have you located the PPC Wiki? Most specifically, the article on Permission? If you have, my apologies; I simply wished to be sure.

Anyway, that over with, new faces are always nice. =) We seem to be getting a lot lately. Have an everlasting carrot. They're yummy. Really.

Agent: Chliever
Aliases: Nurgle, Father Nurgle
Race: Great Unclean One
Home: The Warp, Warhammer 40,000
Department: Floaters
Specialties: Yu Yu Hakusho, Exorcisms anywhere
Age: Thousands and whatnot
Height: 10 feet or so
Weight: How dare you!
Family: 13 adorably disgusting little Nurglings and three troglodyte brothers-in-law (http://mythicmktg.fileburst.com/war/us/home/images/screenshots/WAR_ss_080425-16.jpg)
Registered Lust Object: Zam Wessel
Berserk Button: Abuse fics

Origin: A minor villain in a WH40k Space Marine!Sue fic. Recruited due to his power, his opposition to the Sue, and because Great Unclean Ones, with their attachment to humans, are the easiest type of Daemon to condition at FicPsych to have something resembling human morals.

Personality: Likes watching old bad movies, reading stuffy old novels, and anime. Yeah, he's a geek. Prone to yelling at anyone who disturbs these activities, or who crack jokes about his hygine. He has a special inhibitor installed to keep him from being sucked back into the Warp (and thus requiring a human sacrifice to resummon him) but of course it's far from foolproof. It'll occasionally short out, reverting him to his bestial persona of wanting to infect others with horrible diseases. He can rid himself of these impulses by punching himself in the face.

Agent: Winston Chalmers
Race: Vaguely-defined human
Home: Somewhere in England, Harry Potter
Department: Floaters
Specialties: You! and Me!Sues
Age: Seems late twenties
Height: 5 and a half feet or so
Weight: Well, I never!
Family: None to speak of.
Registered Lust Object: Why you presumptuous little...!
Berserk Button: Possession Sues

Origin: Popped into existence in a Harry Potter fic, gave exposition, then popped out of existence. Like all such characters, he's very vaguely defined, and thus just seems to be a young wizard with gray hair and eyes and pale skin.

Personality: A hopeless neat freak, so of course he was paired with an embodiment of pestilence. He's the token calm one of the duo; it's very hard to set him off, and pretty much the only things that can are Author-wraiths possessing his favorite characters and his partner's eating habits and droning on about his family. Bought a possessed couch from Rook Takes Pawnshop so he wouldn't have to bunk with Chliever. Comedy being what it is, it often tries to eat him.

Agent: Twinker
Department: Floaters (Decommissioned)

History: Chliever's previous partner, a reformed Star Trek Sue or something. Chliever has no knowledge of that canon whatsoever. Decommissioned from the PPC due to, in apparent complete lucidity, attempting to recruit Martin Van Buren.

Oops, Sorry! In compensation, would you like some Anti-Lustin?

Oh my GAWD, the bugger thinks rape is *CUTE*?!

*incoherent Warg-like snarling, because is a girl and naturally looks upon rape with complete and utter disgust*

Clearly these are character replacements and must be killed. Pseudo-Merry needs to be charged with having an oenis.

I honestly have no words for exactly how ridiculously atrocious these so-called 'fanfics' are. Kill it. KILL IT DEAD. If you do, I'll share my Pan Galactic Gargle Bleeprin Blasters with you.

It does suspiciously look like a trollfic, as Maudlin pointed out, but you can never overestimate how bad a serious fic can possibly get.

I can't really judge, and for some reason I don't feel like reading one more word of this horror in search of an answer.

...I need brain bleach.

I'm glad I escaped those classes.

There's such a large selection that I like that it'd be next to impossible to pick out one favorite.  If it helps, there's only one band whose albums I've ever bought more than two of, and that's Dream Theater.

I like Renaissance folk, techno, metal and goth rock, mostly. I am currently listening to the Mediaeval Baebes on ful

In doing field research for Agent Narcolepsy, I have revived a latent love for techno and electronica. In particular, I have discovered that I really like Does It Offend You, Yeah?.

Um. My music tastes differ with my PPC... tastes. I prefer love songs and quiet accompaniments on instruments like piano and violin (yeah, I'm such a romantic at heart).

Well, I love Vienna Teng and Bear McCreary. (composer for Battlestar Galactica, my current fandom obsession)

As for earworms, I have Linkin Park's "Leave Out All The Rest" and the Battlestar Galactica version of "All Along The Watchtower" stuck in my head.

... is it generally accepted practice that all songs should be by different artists, or can you use more than one by the same band?

and the easiest way to explain my musical tastes is to link to the recently completed list of music on my computer

Described by Fynn as huge, eclectic and good.

I don't think I've got anything I particularly associate with the PPC at the moment, but I haven't been listening to music for that… 'Ready to Die', Andrew W.K., maybe, but most of my playlist… well, I'd mention it in writing a mission and suchlike, but themed PPC, not so much. Otherwise, at the moment I'm running a mix of Arashi, The Whitlams (Blow Up the Pokies, Thank You (for loving me at my worst)), The Waifs, Disney, Soler (Not Alone), the SubaSeka OST, Ben Lee, and Utada Hikaru.

Movie soundtracks, Broadway, Bob Marley, Foo Fighters, Breaking Benjamin, Nickelback, Enya, traditional Irish music, classical, Cake, All-American Rejects, Johnny Cash, Martina McBride, Loreena McKennitt, Emmy Rossum, REIK, Coldplay, Billy Joel...the list goes on and on and on...

Ahem. Specifically Alice Cooper's 'Poison', which is clearly dedicated secretly to the Department of Bad Slash. Although most Eighties rock is: please consider

- Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard
- Cherry Pie by Warrant (okay, I know, it misses being an Eighties song by a year, gimme a break :P)
- Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi

When I'm not listening to dodgy Eighties hair metal, however, my taste runs more to grunge (yes, I know, most grunge musicians would have crucified me for listening to hair metal, but meh); Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Babes in Toyland, Silverchair (pre-Diorama, srsly) and to seventies rock - Led Zeppelin, Cream, Jethro Tull, Black Sabbath, etc

And Queen.

And, uh, Savage Garden, ABBA, Steps, Vengaboys and S Club 7. For, y'know, when you get that urge to dance in a flaily way around your own living room after consuming two litres of icecream.

I'm a metalhead myself. I like power metal mainly, usually epic metal (which is an unofficial subcategory of power metal, where the lyrics have a fantastical element). But I also like some oldies, rock, alternative rock, and a very small portion of rap (mainly by Fort Minor).

Thanks to you, I now have Tainted Love stuck in my head, but I think my most consistent 'favorite group' is Hoobastank. I also love Linkin Park, Nightwish, Dragonforce, and John Denver.

Oh! Tom Lehrer! How could I have possibly forgotten Tom Lehrer?

There's nothing I particularly associate with the PPC. Well, maybe "The Call" by Regina Spektor, which for some reason I have on my computer. Always gives me this urge to exorcise the Disney-sponsored bad-het-wraith from poor Susan Pevensie.

Music currently stuck in my head is Flogging Molly. The man-thing brought three albums round on Monday, and I've been rinsing them ever since. Occasionally this is overtaken by the Propellerheads, but that's not so much in my head as floating up from the living room, as my housemate has of late developed a distressing habit of juggling half-naked in the window, and it helps him keep his rhythm.

As for general tastes? Swing, ska, punk, dub reggae, drum 'n' bass. In other words, the soundtrack to my mis-spent youth.

Incidentally, I heard the Rogue Traders one in a shop the other day, and was immediately overcome by the urge to come home and watch the season three finale.

Well, I don't have an MP3 loaded down with stuff with me, but let's check my Internet Jukebox at Songza.

The Eagles
The Beatles
The Carpenters
Air Supply
The Electric Light Orchestra (ELO)
REO Speedwagon
Chicago
Electric Six
Rush
They Might Be Giants
Rockapella
K.C. and the Sunshine Band
XTC

Whew!

I'm LOVING Great Big Sea at the moment (Sean McCann doing the Mermaid dance!), also Waterson:Carthy, Kate Rusby and Matt McGuin.

Hands up if you have never heard of any of them!

I'm also into some musicals, random pop music and anything else that amuses me (I had a Reggae phase when I was a kid!).

Can't say there's a particular kind of music I love these days. I like mainstream styles: generic punk, generic rock and generic classical (it's very vague, I know). Music from movies and video games is good too. I don't really have a fan mindset though, so I can't name bands.

I hope I'll be forgiven this very unenlightening post.

...I'm very interested in the metal genre. I've also been known to listen to early music, such as baroque and renaissance. Also, Samuel Barber is God. He wrote "Adagio For Strings". He lends the title to Dan Swanö on the weekends, however.

I'm currently listening to the Katatonia CD Brave Murder Day, with I just ripped onto my computer, and I have to say it's very good. Recently my favorite bands are Epica (I have to mention them, seeing as I'm wearing an Epica t-shirt at the moment), Nightingale, Tristania, Nightwish, Opeth, Arch Enemy, and Dark Tranquility. What, you expected me to just pick one?

But very little pop. Not a pop person. *shrug*

There's not much I tend to associate with the PPC, but when I'm writing Wicked I'll put on the karaoke music quietly, and other than that...

Well, it's a long list. I'll sing most Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals, Wicked, West Side Story and so on for musicals, soundtracks for most of the classic (ie, before 2000) Disney films, Scottish and Irish folk music - Riverdance, the Corries, the Rankin Family - as well as some random singers, most of which stopped performing about the time I was born.

As for instrumentals, Pachelbel's Canon is my absolute favourite, along with the theme for "Meet Joe Black", and this beautiful extended piece from Star Trek: TNG (Picard's flute, for anyone who's seen that episode).

And I'm quite sure anyone reading this has lost interest by now, so I'll just shut up :P

Seriously, it's just about always something Broadway, and not something that is easily specified further. There are certain musicals - Scarlet Pimpernel, Secret Garden, Les Mis, Andrew Lloyd Weber stuff - that are more common than others, and love songs seem more likely to come up than other types, but I can get almost any musical in here.

I've only gotten the mental music video thing twice, sort of; once with a piece of classical music I don't remember that resolved as a Studio Ghibli credits sequence, and once with Sleigh Ride, which came out as a movie trailer involving an automated snowball catapult.

I Can't Decide, Voodoo Child, Westminster Bridge, and hell NuWho music in general...Star Wars and Halo music is nice too.

My favorite is Blind Guardian, in all their fantasy-obsessed glory: Nightfall and Times Stands Still are great, especially if you like The Silmarillion.

There's also Ayreon, a series of progressive rock/folk music/heavy metal sci-fi rock operas. Here's a song from Into the Electric Castle

Iron Maiden, too, although they're not so into sci-fi/mythology/fantasy.

The Master dancing to his own personal soundtrack while taking over the world is quite possibly the best thing ever.

"Symphony #6" by Ludwig van Beethoven
"Kometenmelodie Zwei" by Kraftwerk
"Take 5" by Dave Brubeck.
"This is Gallifrey: Our Childhood, Our Home" by Murray Gold
The song of the superb lyrebird. All save the last are on my mp3 player (although I'd like to find some lyrebird music on mp3).

I Like:
The Killers
Green Day
Panic! At the Disco
Coldplay
Death Cab for Cutie.
Carrie Underwood

Let's see here... Recent head music includes:

Neuroticfish - Why Don't You Hate Me?
E.S. Posthumous - Pompeii
Hyper - We Control

And a couple I don't know the titles to, by VNV Nation and E Nomine.

I tend to lean towards electronic music, in case you haven't guessed.

(Sophe Lux, that is). I doubt any one else will have heard of her though. XD

http://www.last.fm/music/Sophe+Lux/_/Mermaid+Song

Lyrics aren't work safe, btw.

Normally I listen to soundtracks though. I haven't listened to a radio for about five years now, and before then I listened to classical FM. *pretends to have class*

Sooo, my five most played songs on itunes are:
I'm alive, Becca (Kuroshitsuji)
Down to Earth, Peter Gabriel (Wall-E)
When she Loved Me, Sarah McLachlan (Toy Story 2)
The Call, Regina Spektor (Prince Caspian)
So Close, Jon McLaughlin (Enchanted)

My mp3 includes, um ... The Killers, Creature Feature, Flogging Molly, Kate Bush, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Nine Inch Nails, the Sweeney Todd soundtrack, the Decemberists, the Pogues, and a whole bunch of miscellaneous stuff. Also been listening to Rihanna's "Disturbia" and a few Mindless Self Indulgence songs on YouTube.

Yeah, I have very random taste. Good for making song-based riffs in MSTings and gags in missions. And will be helpful when I work on the VQ Musical chapter in the OFUR ...

If either of the Agatha Christie Minis are still unclaimed when I get my permission (or maybe "if"), I'll take one.

Be patient, I won't be a newbie forever.

I'm tempted to say a mini-Vespiform.

They will never be forgotten.

I wasn't here, so I can't really say I know of the horror of that attack.
I trust that the vengeance taken in their names was swift, bloody and painful for the transgressors?

...and giving you all a link, but I don't have flash anymore. (help?)

*pays respects, plays The Last Post on a trumpet that randomly appears*

Also, if anyone's interested in an anniversary/memorial RP, especially with the Board anniversary coming up, I can set one up.

*passes out Bleeprin in memory of it*

I wasn't even here when that happened...
Do you know where I could find some case files on the subject?

...is the holding cells in DMSE. You're right that the PPC almost always simply kills the Sue, but The Department of Mary Sue Experiments keeps them under lock and key long enough to, er, observe them and their habits. In that case, the length of a Sue's stay depends as much on her individual traits as her actual crime.

As Cass said, the only "jail" the PPC has is for their own agents.

With a program of rehabilitation through torture! We could hire O'Brien from Nineteen Eighty-Four.

Maybe some of the Sues can be reformed with enough care.

it's run by the DIA, and is more a holding centre for Agents who get out of line - for more details, there's an episode dealing with that issue here:

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddkcfxr6_75gp4fnbhq

However, I've never heard of any Sues being arrested. They're either killed or, if not bad enough for that, recruited and usually spend some time in FicPsych having their Sueishness trained out of them.

...Permission half granted.

That is, permission to write Jasper Caspi is granted, but I'm afraid you're going to have to scrap Valdis. Or at the very least, tone her way, way down.

First problem: an agent does not have to care about every canon in which she finds herself, but she should at least have an undying love for one or two universes. The whole reason for being an agent is out of love for a specific canon. We're not generally "out for blood" at the PPC. The reason we hate Sues and badfic so much is that we love good stories even more.

Second problem: "Valdis has one yellow eye and one green eye, her coat is black and she has a red marking on her chest that upon closer inspection is revealed to be the Japanese symbol for death. When she is angry her eye color changes to red and the pupil disappears, a very disturbing effect."

So, let me get this straight. Your agent has unusual, multi-colored eyes that change with her mood, a "badass" Japanese marking, super special abilities, a "cool" nickname, and an attitude problem?

...

I hope I don't have to tell you what's wrong with this. But if I do, please hold off writing your first mission until you've spent more time here.

Here's a good test of an agent character: does she take herself too seriously? If so, does it get hammered into her skull early on that this is a bad thing? Also, could you, the author, poke fun at this agent multiple times during the story? If not, the agent should not be in the PPC.

You do write well, so if you pair your second agent with someone else, go ahead and send me your first chapter, so I can look at it. My e-mail is araeph_aflame at yahoo dot com.

What about a room that continually blasts them with raw sewage unless they can answer true or false questions relating to the plot? For Example:

Computer: "The Syaoran in TRC is the son of the Syaoran in CCS, but is in love with the supposed AU version of his mother. True, or False?"

Random Student: "False! I'm in denial!"

Computer: "This unit refuses to accept your denial. Prepare to recive raw sewage."

*Shoots a stream of raw sewage at the student*

Random Student: Ahhhhh!

Since I completely forgot the contents of my old enrollment form, I think I should add some random character info (the first bit may or may not be in there) - can deal with (and may even like, depending on what the food in question is) eating about anything comprised of food, including Yuui's... eccentric... cooking, may or may not quote Dr. McNinja if appropriate, and has a tendency to point at people when raising any form of objection and yelling OBJECTION! loudly.

Good chapter. Ah, platonic love, my second most favorite kind of love - right next to love for one's family, of course. Yay for sakura tree similes, and as for detention... Writing perfect Japanese characters several times with blello ink in a spinning urple room?

Around fourteen cups of coffee and a half, Cal was extremely tired, but he felt he had done a decent job. All wires had been reconnected and several missing parts had been replaced. He only hoped his tampering had not turned the android into a blood-thirsty megalomaniac bent on world domination.

Of course, there was only one way to find out, and it was to flick the switch — which he did. The android immediately came back to life, and Cal half expected her to start explaining in Morse code why France lost the Algeria war. When she did not, he took this as an encouraging sign that his repairs may have worked.

"Where am I?" was the first thing the robotic girl asked, frowning with puzzlement.

"Response Center 72," answered Recruit Cal. "Headquarters of the PPC."

"Ah... and who am I?"

"I have no idea," Cal apologized. "I found you in the storage room of the Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology. Apparently they wanted to get rid of you in a yard sale."

"Don't you have any concern for my self-esteem?" the girl complained.

"Oh, sorry. You were broken, and I guess the Department couldn't be bothered to repair you. But I did. And I won't sell you in a yard sale." He paused. "Unless the price they offer is really good. But I'm not planning a yard sale any time soon, so don't worry. I'm glad you're here: I should start going on missions in just a few weeks, but they haven't given me a partner. You interested?"

She thought about it. "What do we do on those missions?"

"We kill Mary Sues and restore the plot continuum."

"Does it involve spiked flails?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, if you want."

"I'm in," she grinned.

"Great. What's your name?"

"Dunno. I don't remember anything about myself."

"Then find yourself a name."

"Sure. I'll browse the Web, I have Internet access." Her gaze grew distant. After a moment her grin widened. "Hey, did you know that the Meganeura, a kind of dragonfly from the Carboniferous period, had a wingspan of 75 centimeters? Most. Awesomest. Insect. Ever!"

"Don't get sidetracked," sighed Cal impatiently. "The 'Net is interesting, but you only need to find a name."

"Could I be called Meganeura?"

"NO."

"Okay, fine," pouted the android. She went on searching the Web. It took her half a second. "I'll go with Ellen. After Ellen Ripley, from Alien."

"Hey, she's..." Cal began, his ears reddening. "...She's my Lust object! I can't have a partner who's named after my Lust Object. That would be disturbing."

"It's either that or Meganeura," replied the girl stubbornly.

"Arrrrgh, okay. Anything but Meganeura."

"HA! No one argues with a badass like Ellen!" exclaimed the android triumphantly.

Cal rolled his eyes. Being partnered with someone more or less sane was probably too much to ask.

OOH! OOH! CALL HER GLaDOS!

-gets shot-

After the automaton girl alchemist in Ekaterina Sedia's marvelous The Alchemy of Stone. *sniffle*
Anyhow, I like steampunk literature and fashions! And Mattie is described as looking similar to your little android (although she's technically a gyndroid, isn't she?) so the name would totally fit. That's my two cents. Now give them back, I have to buy chocolate.

Poor Frodo the Nine-Fingered.

That's all I can say. *tosses Mom's wedding ring into nearest volcano*

but hey, it's an excuse for random acts of destruction and pyromania. *starts looking for jewelrey*

Does throwing an orange peel in the trash count as commemorating the destruction of the Ring?

I like evil.
But I'm never one to pass up a celebration! I COME BEARING MOJITOS!

First patented on March 17th, 1845.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_band

*breaks out the Guinness*

Let's destroy all uncanonical Rings of Power we can get our hands on.

(And then let's run like hell before Mount Doom explodes.)

Unless it serves as the main plot (Doctor Who), or leads to the event/point of crisis. (DBZ "Cell" Arc)

In fact, if there is such a thing as time travel Goodfic, I'd LOVE to see it. If only for shock value.

If you insist on trying, remember; Logic is your friend.

Spork! Spork! Spork! Spork! Spork!

:P

Who're these guys, again?

*does happy dance*

Welcome, have some little green pills.

MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Have a large pillow that looks like this:
Careful, though. It may make you have recurring dreams of Cute Overload.

Will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or response center?

Have a cookie, and thank for sacrificing your sanity for the sake of the continuum.

I welcome thee to the PPC. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *holds out bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* We don't have much use for things like that here. I also gift thee with gifts of two big black buttons and some chai tea.
DON'T READ "C*L*BR**N"! Gabriel is a scheming minx (or whatever the masculine equivalent is.)
Here, read legolas by laura instead! Ahahahahahaha! http://www.freewebs.com/bonsaimallorn4/Legolas.htm
-Mad Maudlin

Welcome, new blood! You shall be thrown to the dogs in short order, once the paperwork has been filled out.

So, probably never. To remind you of this impending never-doom, I present you with a PPC pen. Solid stainless-steel, fast-drying black ink, pretty much never runs out of ink thanks to the miracles of plothole-portal technology. Perfect for carrying around and writing up chargelists.

It's so nice to meet another Helen, there are so few of us!

Intro pages are handy.

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPC_Wiki

I gift you with...an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs, but author wraiths and spambots! Use it for good and not evil.

Welcome to the insanity!

Welcome to the board. Here, have a mutated strawberry; they keep appearing in my house. It looks a bit strange, and I can't guarantee it won't grow legs and wander off, but I promise it tastes fine. (At least, I think it does.)

Welcome to the PPC! What fandoms are you into?

Here, have a gallon of bleepka. (You'll probably want it.)

I must not give newbies a link to C***b***n ... I must not give newbies a link to C***b***n ...

I'm rather new here too, and it seems like a lot of new users have joined the PPC lately. I don't know if it's always like that though.

Here, have a barrel of napalm, it's always fun. Just don't use it inside the Headquarters. Oh, and accept this coffeemaker, too: you'll no longer need to waste your precious time sleeping.

Know what I like? Napalm coffee.

It tastes of strawberries!
I'm also working on Photoshopping a picture of some nice spiky black armor, so I can put the DLG in it. If I get stuck on writing, I'll e-mail you, and if you want to know how it's going, you can e-mail me. 'Kay?

But never actually got permission, and now my writing is all too old to use.
*Sigh*

But I am writing a Georgette Heyer fic now which might qualify me!

Fade away. Although, if anyone is still up to it, i think we can do it, maybe.

I'm glad I've never run into any of that pro-life silliness in any of my fandoms. (though there was this one time when the option of abortion was completely ignored in the fic, though it would have made sense for it to be mentioned)

Argh, I hate when they do that. Stories can have morals, they can have themes, they can express the author's opinions, but when they outright tell the reader what to believe, they become no better than Chick Tracts.

I occasionally advise a goodfic writer on his politics-themed, dystopian future, conspiracy theory piece starring the Power Rangers (don't ask), and what I always say to him is, don't let your own politics take over your writing. That's what killed Civil War.

So...if this person is so pro-life...
I'm not even going to think about it. That needed killing.

I'm not the most fantastic player, but I'm pretty familiar with chess. Sling it on over my way if you'd like yet another beta. ;-)

celticfirefeet (at) hotmail (dot) com

I'll try.

I played a little bit when I was much younger, but I doubt I'd be much help for it- that was a long time ago.

Still, I'll help as much as I can-- more betareaders is always a good thing!

Looks good to me!

Reverse the polarity. Why wouldn't that solve everything?

You know that book, "Everybody Poops"? It's kinda like that: everybody dies.

So far, we haven't encountered the government corrupt and insane enough to doom the entire planet to nuclear holocaust. I serious doubt that we ever will. Now, America getting nuked is not beyond the realm of possibility, but we really can't expect to be the top power forever. For better or worse, things simply don't work that way.

~Neshomeh, not about to stress about something she can't control.

Just because Russia is re-arming doesn't mean that World War III will break out. I mean, yeah, things look pretty bad, but if there will be a war we should be looking to the Middle East not to Russia, although Russia will most certainly be involved. Another note is that we are in a recession, not a Great Depression, at least not yet. Humans are a very adaptable resilient species, we'll pull through.

Even supposing that you're right about war - which is not a given, even in the event of rearmament - and even assuming you're right about large-scale destruction caused thereby, we are the PPC! We have, at least in theory, access to every point in the multiverse. Any technology that could possibly be imagined by anyone is potentially within our grasp. Any evacuation point at any time on any world is open to us.

So I, for one, say enough of this doom and gloom!

Who cares? When hasn't there been some ominous event? Regardless of what's going to happen, running around shouting about how we're all going to die won't help.

If we're going to die, I say make the most out of the life you're living.

Does the world have it's problems?
Yes. But worrying about them all at once won't do any good.

Okay, that was only once, and it was for a good cause; but I just can't resist saying that. By the way, all hope isn't lost. After all, we can still prepare for the onslaught. Anyone know Survivalism 101, by any chance?

... which is what I do best, I'd like to point out that this is hardly a major perturbation.

Planet's been here for 4.6 billion years. It'll probably manage at least another 4.6 billion years. We've been here less than ten thousand years. Our influence extends maybe three or four miles into the crustal rocks, and up into the atmosphere, maybe the troposphere. And a few bits of space junk. This planet has some FABULOUS feedback systems that mean that, if we were removed, in the blink of a geological eye our influence would dissipate (of course, this doesn't take away from the fact that if we continue doing what we're doing, OTHER fabulous feedback loops will make things considerably worse, but I digress).

Given evolution works how it does, I suspect that another sentient species would arise. Or maybe not. It's not like a planet has to have a sentient species, it took about five hundred million years for us to toddle along, after all :)

Basically, guys, gals and undecided, life goes on. Whatever happens, the sun will keep shining, photosynthesis will keep happening, water will freeze and water will evaporate, sand will move, gravity will hold rocks down ... so why worry? Keep writing, or hey, go outside, look at the sky, see the grass (the most successful organism on the planet, grass), enjoy yourself. You're alive. That's all that matters.

/end serene eccentric scientist warbling.

Russian rearmament is fairly inevitable - their economy tanked in the 80s and continued going down when the Iron Curtain fell, so military spending dropped fairly significantly. A resurgence is only to be expected, especially with ex-Soviet states starting to have border squabbles. Also, considering the last seven years of American foreign policy, I wouldn't be surprised to see Russia taking a more aggressive hand in international politics.

If it does come to nukes, though, you're probably fine. Soviet-era nuclear doctrine consisted of atomic strikes on nuclear military installations (B-52 bases, sub pens, ICBM silos) and runways long enough to serve nuclear bombers (>11,000 feet, IIRC) in tactically important places. If you live more than ten miles from any of the above, you're not going to be killed by blast effects. While initial fallout will be major (and should be avoided if possible), it's mostly very hot, short-lived particles. In 10 days, radiation levels will drop to 1/10th of the initial, and after another 10 days, it'll be down to 1%. After a month, you're down to background radiation levels except for a couple square miles at each epicenter.

Seen pictures of downtown Hiroshima? It's a thriving city, and grass grows around the ruins of the nuclear war memorial. Admittedly that was a small nuke, but the physics is the same, it's just on a larger scale.

Okay, so what, they're increasing militarization. How does that spell the end of the world, again?

That's not funny.

Do not fear, my friends! For in that sentence lies our great strength! Nothing is more powerful than friendship! It's the most powerful force in all the universes and beyon--

-gets shot-

Yeah, we're experiencing the warning signs again, aren't we? And history always comes with that irritating tendency to repeat itself. *headwalls* But you know, I don't mean to sound corny or anything, but we, the next generation, are the only ones who can really help at this point. I'm a teenager, adulthood is just beyond my reach, but it's still coming and I can't do a thing to stop it. The previous generation kinda effed things up for us, and it falls on the next set of adults of the world to set things right. In the end, it's all up to us. We humans ended up on this earth, a fact which we can all agree on, no matter what religion we follow or whether we follow one at all, and this earth is the only one we have. We have to take care of it, and we haven't been doing a very good job of it lately. When it all comes down to it, the fate of the world really does rest in our hands. WE decide whether or not we're dead.

They have the atomic bomb, and there are many fanatics with nothing to lose standing mere inches from power. And the situation with India, another country with weapons of mass destruction, is quite tense.

What worries me about Russia is not the new weapons they plan to get, but how they will dispose of the old ones. A few million dollars in the right pockets could put something very dangerous in the hands of a terrorist.

Just... just please stop, okay? Please. I don't need to hear this. You sound like a doomsayer sitting on a rock in Israel.

Things will be fine. All right? Things will be fine. Remember that. They have been MUCH worse, and we have been MUCH closer to nuclear armageddon before than now. And the world isn't glowing yet.

They're an awesome 80's German synthmetal/techno band. There's a newer band out with the same name (Do research, ya gitz!) but the original is better. My favorite songs are "Frozen Faces," "Dr. Mabuse," and "P.machinery."

Are you familiar with Pandora? It's a great music discovery website. I've got a few channels there with techno: Daft Punk Radio is, well, Daft Punk (real techno), while Keep Hope Alive Radio is more dance-esque (based around The Crystal Method's work). Dragonstea Din Tei Radio is real electronic dance ('90s, mostly), and E Nomine Radio is some of the fun-ness that happens at the intersection of Gothic Metal, classical choral music, and electronic.

Other music that's less techno but might appear in DoSAT would be E.S. Posthumous and Hyper (see Cascade Radio).

Okay, that's just music I like. But still, it's good music.

Just a note, I am still kinda working on DoSAT stuff. It's very, very backburner thanks to school, work, and life in general, but please don't make additions totally impossible.

I don't think it's quite legendary, personally -- though certainly up for debate.

But please kill it with fire. Pleasepleaseplease.

Is that it has to be, you know, legendary. Something that can be mentioned and everyone will groan and say, "Oh THANKS for bringing up that memory!" So new things generally don't qualify. That said, it looks horrible, and I hope to see it die soon.

Ow, that non-formatting hurts my eyes. The lack of paragraphing makes it nearly impossible to even read the thing. Hyphens are absent, along with some apostrophes...

I don't know much about the content, but I can say that based off the mechanics alone, this thing is not earning any points from me.

And 'welcoming'. For new users. But it's going to do that to everyone, so.

It signs as whoever was the last active admin- in this case, hS.

I like short missions. I don't have much time on my hands to read them.

But we really need to find efficient ways to destroy (very painfully) author-wraiths. Someone who forces a dog and a baby to have sex cannot be allowed to get away unpunished.

Can't comment on the vignette as am once again too pissed to be a) coherent or b) tactful. However, your best place to put these ideas up is, as you guessed, your blog - we're most of us on livejournal, after all.

As for your seventy foot eredar, I have no idea what that even is, but my history in the DBS is presenting some truly terrifying suggestions. Elaborate?

Here, have a mutated strawberry! I can't guarantee it won't spontaneously grow legs, but it should still taste alright, and if you're squeamish, you can just keep it as a pet.

No, I'm not going to shoot you. I'm going to POUNCE and HUG and GLOMP you instead, because freaking newbies out= fun! I gift you with gifts of a shiny crystal which is rather pointy and three yards of black alpaca yarn. Use them well, or if you can't figure out how to use them well, sell them and buy chocolate.
-Mad Maudlin

BTW, will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or a Response Center?

Welcome, welcome, welcome. I suppose that, if you're here, you've also looked around the wiki and read the Original Series? Good, because otherwise, you'd be lost. :)

My current usual welcome gift is a granite pillow. Use it well.

And... I'm not sure what else to say now, so I'll let the others make their greetings. Thanks for coming!

Will you have a TARDIS or a response center?



Oh, and I give you a coffeemaker (this one even makes espresso). Not only does it replace sleep efficiently, but cups of coffee are the only reliable unit of time here in the HQ.

Gotta go, it's nine cups and a half.

We'd, er, spotted that one. It's a troll. We snigger from a distance.

Thank you!

Well, sorry this turned into a shouting match. I thought it was just a simple question. Let's all move on now.

... we should have a power too great and terrible.

In other words, no, I don't think so.

~Neshomeh