Mar 2009 Archive, part a

Thing The Third: I find myself wondering if there are any departments or divisions which do not yet have a stated head. I haven't the time to go looking right now though.

Thing The Second: I recommend Ginger Bleep for nausea cause by bad writing.

Thing The First: Can't help you there, but good luck with it.

THING THE FIRST! Join the club, honey, join the club. However, having paranoid parents is a good thing. Just put up with her griping, and explain to her that you're not giving away personal information or doing anything that'll encourage the child molesters to hunt you down. As for sporking being bad for the soul? Nah. It's actually just creative critiquing.

THING THE SECOND! I don't have one, but I'm sure someone does. Good luck getting your head 'round that 'fic.

THING THE THIRD! Nyahaha. Sauron flower. XD

Sorry, I had to do that.

On THING THE FIRST:

Having parents like yours (and now I have moved halfway around the world), distance is a great thing. Not using your home computer to do PPC related things helps alot.

If your parents make side comments about us, just ignor them. Besure to answer all comments about other topics, eventually they will drop it. Parents are like children that way.

If your parents fear for your soul (especially churchy parents), ask them `is ignorance bliss?` My brothers and I are having a long and very fustrating time reeducating our parents about the church. I am not anti-religion, I am just anti ignorance.

I could not belive it when my mother made the comment one time sayting that something is wrong just because the bible said so. To back this statement up: 1. The Jewish people only eat cosher, the reason: When these rules were laid out, many people were dieing of badly buchered and preserved food, especially meat. When the people found a way to do the things correctly (ie, not get sick) it found itself in the religius writing and teachings as a message from `God`. 2. Roman Catholocisim; no meat on Fridays, reason: In the (guessing at date, not reason) 1400s, the fish merchants went to the Pope to enlist his help in selling more fish. In return they would give a very generous `donation` to the church. So the Pope declaired that to honor Christ`s sacrifice, the people should not eat meat on Friday and eat fish instead (my family did this until the late 1990s). 3. The Bible was put together to help people to understand the world around them. When ever it says `God`s will`, was it really a will of some super natural power, or was just some science that they did not understand? The Bible was written well before the advent of modern science and people wanted answers.

The Bible is not always correct.

/rant

But my first sujestion should work, did on mine.

On THING THE SECOND:

Your agents may need neck braces for whiplash.

On THING THE THIRD:

Cool! Definatly already a Flower that Be, or maybe it is a Flower that is responsible for agents to go rogue? Hmmmmm... I can see the flowers starting their own councils and fellowship to depose of the Dark Lord Geranium. Crap, I now have a plot bunny clining to my leg, anyone want him?

Leto

On the FIRST: I don't think it is possible to explain the PPC to someone that thinks that fictionally killing fictional thirteen-year-olds (between the ages of 13-35, and a few that were older due to immortality) equates to real life child molestation. Is your mother the kind of person that believes that authors can only write about what they know? i.e. that if someone is killed in a novel that the author must have experience killing people? (rather than an overactive imagination?)

I do agree on the second matter, in a way. If I had a soul, I'm pretty sure that reading badfic would be bad for it. It is bad for the brain after all. MSTing is actually rather cleansing.

On the SECOND: I once thought about following a fic from an anti-gravity room due to its massive tense switching (within sentences even). I guess you should stock up on crash dummies, and have the agents follow the fic from the confindes of their TARDIS.

On the THIRD: great name for a flower. Now I wants one for my garden.

Thing the first: Simply explain to her that this is a good way to help young authors improve the flaws in their writing, and have all-around fun in the process. Put plenty of emphasis on the first point, however.

Thing the second: Er... I'm in agreement with the others on the motion sickness pills. If you must, open a bottle of bleeprin and drink yourself to oblivion when it's over.

Thing the third: Chances are, it's already a flower... just hasn't made itself known yet...

While I cannot help with thing the first (as I have insanely liberal parents and thus never learned how to deal with less liberal ones), might I suggest, if there's any possibility of her seeing exactly what we do here, that you do your best to keep her away from the Bad Slash missions? Because, despite our best efforts, they can be a little graphic, and may not help your case vis a vis "harmless fun".

A good way to explain the PPC is that we are an all ages group dedicated to finding humor through the critique of online fiction, which is done in the form of MSTs and sporking. We analyse the structuring, plot, grammar, and general accuracy of fanfiction in a creative way, comparing it against the original works in a way that can be explored with merit. Most of the PPC's active members are in their teens and early twenties- in fact, a great deal are under twenty, and many are under the age of eighteen, from what I can remember of the ages of active members.

Beyond that, here are some positive facts:


It's a nice hobby that improves your reading and writing skills. Reading is awesome. It's something most of us like. Reading is good. We support that massively.

For many members who participate in doing PPCs, sporkings, and MSTs, their skills in editing, writing, and the use of spelling and grammar increase. At least one PPCer I can think of has turned what they've found here into something to do as a career; there are also at least two more I can think of who are in the process of going through schooling who are also going into jobs, or considering jobs, that can be helped with a skillset that might have been buffed and polished through being members here.

And something something something fish.

Setting aside the fact that your mother doesn't seem to be all that open-minded about explainations, I suggest you tell her the (edited) truth: We are tired of watching our beloved characters be written badly and are having a laugh about it in a way that harms absolutely no one. Failing that, do what Trojie said.

As for the third... definitely a neat flower. :)

I fear I cannot help you with the second thing, because it sounds technical and I'm afraid of technical stuff.

As for the rest...


"THING THE FIRST. One's mother, having been told of the PPC and its activities, believes firstly that the lot of you are child molesters and secondly that writing MSTs and other sporkings is bad for the soul. How to rectify this situation?"

...interesting question. It can't be dealt with easily: I feel that making her read C***b***n to show her the evils of badfic is NOT the way to go.
Personally I just don't face this problem, because my parents don't know (and don't care) about what I do online. Isn't there a way to spork badfics quietly, without trying to hide it but without talking about it either? It's not like it's a shameful or immoral thing to do.


"THING THE THIRD. While flipping through a gardening catalog, I came upon this. It is called the Dark Lord Geranium. Am I right in assuming that it should be made an honorary Flower That Is? With spiky black armor? Spiky...."

With a name like that, it's probably already one of the Flowers That Be.

THING THE FIRST: I find it helps to gloss over (read: lie blatantly) about the PPC by claiming that we're an online proofreading group of, y'know, harmless geeks who just like to help people out.

THING THE SECOND: Your Agents take a couple of motion-sickness pills and accept the inevitable, I think.

THING THE THIRD: Okay, that geranium's pretty awesome.

I never liked the original series, and this entire film has me angry. For one thing, because the Trek TOS had seven movies, Next Generation had three of four, but DS9 and Voyager haven't had ANY, and they're making another TOS?

And the actors... bah. They were picked for their looks. The entire thing looks like a disaster waiting to happen. I'm not even going to see it. I dread the Suefics that are going to be spawned by this, but as I take only TNG, DS9 and Voyager missions, it's not really my problem. Thankfully.

*end rant*

Not a trekkie either, but I rather like Star Trek. Maybe I'll go see this one.

Let's see if I can forget for about two hours that Spock is NOT Sylar.

I mean, wow. That's... special.

make me want to cry. :(

do you know anything about "Charmed"?

... because there's a family party on the Saturday evening. If everyone shows up on the Saturday and nobody else can make Sunday, I'll come on the Saturday and leave a bit early so I can get home in time, but it looks like I won't be able to do both days.

Will have to save up like crazy to even try to afford train fares, unless I can find doting grandparents willing to cough up... but hells yes, count me in. I'll make it even if I have to hike down to London and back. And if a certain somebody can get his backside over to this side of the Atlantic at around the same time, that would make it even mroe awesome.

Annoyingly I don't think I'll be able to make it. Pity because I've been unable to ever get to a Gathering.

Anyone keen to have one in Scotland...?

Two to six people (not including me) sounds promising.

As far as times, locations, and activities go, I'm pretty much willing to let someone else make the suggestions. I don't much care for "tourist" stuff in general, and I think my class is doing some of that, like the Tower of London. Anyway, I'm up for any cool stuff on or off the beaten path. I assume I'll get the hang of the train/bus system pretty quickly, so no worries about that. We get passes to use. We're staying in Bayswater, if that helps.

~Neshomeh

I coupld possibly have made it. I am (if all goes according to plan) moving to Ireland in October. Maybe another gathering in November?

Leto

I'll give this one a tentative maybe.

On the plus side, it's about three weeks after loan day, which means I could afford the train fare.

On the other hand, we've a three day birthday celebration on the 13th, 14th, and 15th, and many years of practice have led to the conclusion that these three need spreading out for the sake of wallets, livers, and generally not vomiting and making a tit of oneself. This year's celebrations are thus due to begin on the 9th and finish on the 18th. Making it to London then may therefore be problematic.

My job is pretty good about letting me arrange shifts around stuff - as long as I put in the right number of hours each week they're okay with me asking for said hours not to be on a specific day - so I should be able to ask for those two days to be free. Means having to get up at five in the morning to get to London at a reasonable time of day, but there we go.

BTW, if we're looking for stuff to do, the Natural History Museum provides much opportunity for fun. If we end up going there, remind me to bring a cardboard cutout "Chainsaw of Natural Selection" to place on the Darwin statue for a photo op :)

Curse the Atlantic Ocean!

Both those dates sound good, though I'll have to check at home. Hope this works out!

We're definitely interested, and will probably be able to get there at least for the Saturday. You might have a problem if you're looking for it to be down in London -- the hub of PPC activity in the UK seems to have moved up north of late. Still, hopefully lots of people will come down.

hS

I'll reserve judgment on Twilight itself, much less crossovers involving it.  However...I couldn't even get through the first chapter of that fic.

The Warriors section is always chock-full of badfic ripe for the sporking.

willingly to help read the stories.

With the soundtrack thing! I ADORED it! Bob Dylan yayness! Ok not the best rendition of "Halleluja" I've ever heard but still.
The ending I agree was a bit of a let down, but I sat through most of it basically going "ooooh Shiny!"

Definatly to be recommended.

On a side note has anyone else see the trailer or "Lesbian Vampire Killers"? Now THAT looks like a movie made entirely for laughs.

I'm pretty excited to see the movie, but I do like knowing what will be different. Hopefully I'll be able to keep my inner nitpicker under control. As long as this adaptation isn't like The Seeker then I think I'll be fine.

I was a bit worried when the first professional reviews came out (they are quite mixed), but all in all it looks like it will be a good film. The user rating at the Internet Movie Database is 8.5/10 (based on 3451 votes) as I type this, which is more than satisfactory for such a difficult adaptation.

At the risk of being burned at the stake by a hundred rabid Alan Moore fans, I thought the Watchmen comic was only good, not OMG TEH BEST COMIC EVAR!!!!!1

But, with my faith renewed, I'll certainly go see the film.

Which is to say, if you do a mission, and that continuum doesn't have a mini, you get to decide what the mini is.

Nice one. Quite frankly, I'm surprised the Suethor even remembered the Smuggler's Moon exists...

Good job. :)

There's something called FU-udge in there, which I can only imagine as being some sort of dessert that makes rude hand gestures. Might be worth bringing back, as might the Cliffie who appears at the end of the second chapter.

...I can make this as unrealistic as I want??

*struggles to conceal rage*

Kill it.

If it's so easy to make babies with magic, why don't wizards outnumber Muggles ten to one?

If babies didn't require nine months of gestation, meticulous planning and a lot of pain, their lives wouldn't count nearly as much. They would just be discarded once their parents are tired of them. A lot of babies would be made by irresponsible people on the spur of the moment, and adoption centers would be chock-full with them. That's only one of the many things that are horribly wrong with this fic.

Would a PPC Assassin be required to kill those babies? That would be brutal, even by our standards...

The canon breaches make me want to burn things, but it helps that one of my Agents will be very, very interested in this. He's a bit of the mad-scientist type.

And the amount of havoc that could be thus wrought rather amuses me.

Though I will thoroughly kill it as well. Because only a very small portion of my brain is amused. The rest is screaming for vengeance, on behalf of Rowling and basic human biology.

That is so messed up. It would never happen in Hogwarts, magic cannot create new life. So what now?

Just goes to show how much of those films have infiltrated culture. You can't help but know quite a bit about them.

*still laughing...*

Nice to meet you! And yeah, it's different, but not too bad, right? (Well, except when the really long threads get going.)

Ah, and remember this! *hands over a fluffy blue towel*

Ah, a fellow newbie.

As you can see, my name is PitViperOfDoom. I cordially welcome you to this world of pathological roller coasters, where sanity is ishkabibble, and the only way to survive is by being certifiably insane. Enjoy your stay, and please ignore the Urple substance dripping from the ceiling. (Trust me, it's better if you don't know)

My gift to you is a case of Stewart's Orange and Cream soda, and a sock full of rocks.

My name is Inigo Montoya... or rather, it isn't, it's Maudlin. Sorry. I get confused sometimes.
Anyhow, melcowe to the PPC! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *holds out bucket marked "Warg fodder"* We don't tend to have much use for things like that here. I also gift you with a shiny bit of crystal, some chai tea, and a free hug. Come back if you need more.
-Mad Maudlin

Nice to meet you :)

Hi there! I'm Sara, and I bear gifts! Here's an egg whisk (gold-plated, very useful thing) and...um...chocolate! Yes...

That insanity thing? Fun. Funfunfun. Enjoy the ride!

You'll need it, both for attempts at sleep and whacking those who try to interrupt.

:)

It's good to see another TV Troper. I haven't been on TV Tropes for - well, I have a window open now, but I haven't looked at it for almost three minutes.

What fandoms are you into?

Have some little green pills. When you find out what they do I'm sure the Medical Research Division would also like to know!

Will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or Response Center?

Glad to meet another TVTroper. If we gather enough of us, maybe we can found TVTropers Anonymous. "Hi, my name is Gabriel, and I haven't visited TV Tropes for... oh, about half an hour."

I'm pretty new myself, and I'm not a full-fledged Agent yet.

Here, I give you a screwdriver, 100% mithril. If you prove you can kill a Sue in eleven different ways with it, you'll be deemed worthy of the Department of Assassins. (Our best Agents know of over 30 ways to use it to lethal effect.)

Here's a vibrospork. Good for badfic and those annoying lightsabers Sues keep on swinging around.

welcome to the PPC. hope you nejoy it here.

have a combat spork and bleeprin.

so, what fandoms do you like? if i may ask.

Do you want some? They'll make you insane in just a minute!

Have a large stuffed toy shaped like the Blue Badger. It won't dance, but then again it would be creepy if it did.

I do believe there is a vampire working for the PPC. But I could be mistaken; too much people to keep track of. Particularly when we keep different office hours.

Anyway, welcome. As a gift I present you with a cow. One of my agents had it while on mission, but it got too big for their response centre.

Don't worry, all the best china got broken *years* ago.

And we have a basket by the door for sanity, please feel free to leave yours there. You'll find you won't need it here :D