I've worked as much as possible into my essay. You guys are invaluable. CHEERS!

I like Prisoner of Azkaban, only because it's the only stylish Potter film they've made so far (Alfonso Cuaron has a lot to do with that). They did miss a fair bit of stuff out, but the question remains - do you stick religiously to the text, and end up with an overlong, crammed film without any atmosphere until the final moments, a la Goblet of Fire (essentially, a Greatest Hits package), or do you compile the most captivating film you can by liberally cutting and altering a few elements? Yes, the Marauders should have remained, but other than that, I think Azkaban is better for its changes.

They weren't in the books, were they?

http://www.canmag.com/news/3/3/248
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/movies/a64205/harry-potter-books-vs-films.html?page=3

I skim read those two, but they're from the references on the wikipedia page. I assume you've had a look on that - that has a section on what they've missed as well. Even if you can reference it, it makes for a good start.

Good luck!

Been a while since I've seen it, and I've only got it on video, so this is going off memory. But I remember bitching about that film loads so that should be alright.

Deliberate alterations have to include That Damned Moustache. JKR generally mentions facial hair when it's there. She mentions none on Lupin. And the one the film-makers gave him was just dire.

Other small alterations that annoyed the hell out of me include the ages of Harry's parents' generation. They should be 33/34 in his third year, but they're all blatantly ancient. And it's Moony, not Mooney, and changing it to the latter on the Map was unforgiveable.

Main problem, which I think you're getting at, is the total lack of backstory. I'll see if I can get hold of a working video player tonight so I can give you a breakdown of everything that's wrong with them cutting out the backstory, because my brain's mostly blocked it out. Then I'll send you a lovely long ranting email about it.

We never find out that Remus, Peter, Sirius and James are Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.

Then Harry and Remus call Sirius "Padfoot" in the fifth movie, with no explanation.

Was the omission of the "parting of ways" scene, in which Sirius and Snape come face to face in the Hospital Wing and Dumbledore explains in no uncertain terms that they are now on the same side and must at least pretend to get along. And then sends Snape on a secret mission. I couldn't believe they didn't include something as significant to their characters and the overall story as that. Now it's too late to do something similar and a lot of that wonderful ambiguity will be missing from Snape's character.

I didn't like the way they did the werewolf at all, either. What was up with the "mating call" thing? How could Hermione mimic something she'd never heard before to such great effect? {= P

~Neshomeh

Ouchies. As bad, or Worse than That Series?

I think that it will be fine if she doesn't. Mandalorian assassins work to supress their feelings don't they? And if she really doesn't care then there she wouldn't need bleeprin.

Shoot staight and run fast

My agents don't bother with Bleepka and instead hit the actual hard stuff, though I have no idea if that's kosher according to Mandalorian law.

Bleeprin isn't mandatory. A lot of agents appreciate its effects, but many get by fine without it. Example from the DBS: Agent Paddlebrains ODed on it during training, and on one occasion Agent Trojie threw a lot of Bleepsinthe down Agent Paddlebrains's throat in lieu of retcon, but aside from that, neither of them really use the stuff.

Also, as mentioned, there really aren't any credits to be had.

And she tends to try and encourage her younger partner to not take it either. It's just a matter of choice, I think. If she has a different method of dealing with fanfic trauma, she doesn't need bleeprin. Some Agents just like it.

She knows that PPC Agents tend to not really get paid all that much, if ever, right? Due to the fact that the PPC generates little to no revenue for itself?

~Neshomeh

It's just heavily used since it's beneficial to Agent sanity.

After all, there weren't any Bleep products in the Original Series until later on, since it was an OFU creation.

Anyway, sorry about not sending you the Parody fic I sort of promised you. As I said, I had some problems. Thanks for the Humor you gave us all!

I was feeling down and that cheered me up! Thanks.

I applaud your work.

*wants to go to Bath now*

I'd propose a different theory as to the exact location of the rift, but that might break the fourth wall, and gods only know what havoc that would wreak.

*g*

~Neshomeh

howdo we continue? and willthe weeds or DIA arrest drake anytime soon?

Courtesy the Tangled Webs site

This includes everything by myself, Neshomeh, Laburnum and Ansela, and all except one post by Kitsune. The material by Ugolino and Heliomance isn't included, as it isn't part of the main thread as yet, and also doesn't have pictures to go with it.

I've done a minimum amount of editing, mostly to a) put everything into the past tense, and b) introduce consistancy by making Naomi "he" and Drake "she" in all narration. Dialogue references have been left as they are. I've also adjusted the spelling (although one word left me stumped -- the DORKS "phrapped" and I have no idea whether that's what was intended, so I've left it) and punctuation in places.

I will be taking the pictures and storing them on the Tangled Webs image host, but haven't done so yet, so try not to delete anything. And, Laburnum, if you're reading, I know there's some difficulties concerning use of Stormsong and Skyfire, so if it's a problem we can either edit the story or take it down. It's not linked in to the site, so at present it's just all together for convenience.

hS

Shoudl we start it here, the annoyance here? I have a good idea of how to start it, adn what caused it.

*evil laughter*

Enter a couple of poor schmucks who have no idea what's going on, one of whom is unreasonably disturbed by the whole thing and really wants to make it go away. Do they set out by themselves to seek the cause and its cure, or does someone find them first? Where do they go? Who do they meet? What ridiculous things happen along the way?

~Neshomeh

We do not know when the genderbending of most of HQ took place. However, the genderbending in RC#45 occurred in February 2009 HST, as it fits the Plot.

It is unknown whether sexual orientation is affected, as Agent Trojie has only ever hitherto expressed desire for unattainable musicians, and Agent Paddlebrains is and has always been incorrigible.

Clothes have maintained stati...il such time at which they have been removed. At which point no-one was paying attention. Clothes could have spontaneously combusted, for all the inhabitants of RC#45 noticed.

One change in behaviour has been noted: sexual inhibitions relating to prior bodies appear to be decreased. More details to be released at a later date, assuming we ever stop laughing.

...the effect doesn't appear to be limited to agents actually in HQ, though that one case could be a blip in the data.

Two cases. Narto and Louise were also bent, and are also outside HQ. Lou wasn't even with the PPC in this timeline, so that makes no sense.

In addition, it seems to have affected children (or at least I think Molly was...), in and possibly out of HQ (although no one ever checked Tanfin to be sure). It may or may not have affected animal companions, ie fire lizards.

Is sexual orientation affected? [...] No, but best to be sure.

I would say, in fact, yes. It's been reversed, at least in some cases. Lou and Narto, specifically, seem to be attracted to one another as things stand. Whether the effect is a reversal, or merely an overlaying of attraction to the opposite gender to your current form (as I think the TF gun does), I don't know. I can't remember what Drake's sexuality's like normally, and I think she's the only one who's done anything else romanticish.

The question of whether it affects Flowers is, as you say, currently unanswered, but would be very interesting to see, since it would resolve the Gender And Flowers debate once and for all. It would also be interesting to find out what, if any, effect it has on the following:

-Asexual lifeforms with a neutral persona
-Asexual lifeforms with either male or female personalities
-Robots (eg, CAL-9000)
-Anyone with multiple personalities (would the multiples be changed too?)

I'm not sure whether any other than robots actually exist in HQ, though.

hS

At archive.org. Looks like it has a perfectly good archive copy of the site, if you can't find where it moved to.

email is dms22@njit.edu.

I know some star wars, and can find more out if i need to.

We've been talking about AIDS in my Epidemiology class, so I happen to know that it takes about two weeks to even build up enough HIV in your system to transmit it to someone else and about four weeks before it's detectable. A diagnosis of full-blown AIDS after just one week is pretty much impossible.

Note that there are about two whole weeks in which you can be shedding virus without even the possibility of knowing about it. Scary stuff.

Whoever takes that one, please include a nice big helping of "Bad Science/Biology/Medicine" on the charge list.

~Neshomeh

I am confused, the OC isn't physically present? I send you all the luck i can live without. Use it well :)

There's also an OC named Andre. Maybe he could be recrutied?

On a whim I just wandered back here though it's been a while. It's nice to see the board is mush the same as it's always been. ^_^

I *think* I remember the name, but I don't think I was here way back when.

And I know how education can be. I got a pair of agent's that'll probably never see the light of day and a huge Crossover from Heck that is floundering into oblivion.

However, I did get bitten by the Bay!verse bug thank's to a good fic, but now that fic is heading in areas i don't really appreciate so... I'm concentrating on my own thingy kinda *inspired* by that fic series.

If an old-bie wants to have look at the work of a newbie with a few failed projects and an "old shame" behind himself, here it is in all it's shameless pluggage.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4695216/1/Transformers_Starscream_Ascendant

Your Fellow Boarder

-Gandalf "Empty Thread" Beige

Welcome back.

I was not here five years ago , but I do welcome you back. So, what minis do you have?

*hands over a plate full of bacon, several mini bags of bacon for the deer critters and a cookbook on how to cook mary sues for the minis.*

Welcome back, then. And have a graduated cylinder. :]

Welcome back! Here, have an egg whisk.

My envy knows basically no bounds. I really love linguistics, and was planning to major in it at one point (then I went to classical studies, then I went to Latin Teaching, then I went back to classical studies . . . then I dropped out of college to move to England. Ahh, my life)

Welcome back to the board! :D I'm kind of amazed that it's still active too . . .

I've only been on here for a year and a half, so you won't know me, but I wave and smile at you nonetheless. :)

We can have a proper Welcome Back party. ^_^

College is time-devouring and evil. Good luck with all that real life stuff!

~Neshomeh

We've a wiki now. Which still lacks many agents from older spin offs. *bad hint*

Nice to see another Oldbie returning to the Board, even if only for a visit. Have a medium-sized stuffed prinny before you go! Now minus the exploding, so don't worry about that - the new models can be thrown without turning the recipients into small pieces of unidentifiable matter.

No, wait. All those are gone due to Pink Stuff...

Leto

Have some welcoming welcomes of welcomeness!

We're still alive and kicking!

How do Linguistics and Comp Sci overlap? I'm a CS major myself, trying to minor in Japanese, but I can't really see how it would work the other way around...

Clearly actually getting up in the morning has something going for it, for as I stared at the morning's emails and worked my way through the first pint-and-a-half of tea of the day, it started snowing. And it's only just stopped. And there's loads. It's ace.

We have nothing. We were supposed to get rain today but we got nothing. I can has precipitation?

In supposed 'sunny' soCal...

*sigh*

I'm in New Zealand, of course. That makes a difference. The weatherpeople are forecasting 29C for Sunday. Excuse me while I wail in horror.

*wails*

Had a load of snow at the beginning of the week - over a foot, I think. And because Dad promised, we had a barbecue in said >foot of snow. It was awesome. :D

Wisconsin has been dumped upon since November, and though we haven't had any significant new accumulation in a while, there's still a lot on the ground. It gets slightly slushy in the sun sometimes, and then becomes ice. This makes walking to class rather... interesting.

We rarely have off of class here. When there is a lot of snow, the university says "Well, most students walk to class, so we won't cancel anything." When there's no snow, but windchills in double digits below zero, the university says, "Well, most students drive to class, so we won't cancel anything." We have no luck.

It's just cold.

None at all in sunny Jersey (that's the Channel Island), although we did have some earlier this week. It'd all bally melted before lunchtime. On the plus side, we did manage to get a snowball fight out of it.

Washington State is snow free, fortunately. I have to get to Seattle tonight and I hate taking the bus in the snow. And yesterday, amazingly, it actually felt a little like spring!

Inch or two fell on Sunday night, all turned to slush on Monday, then it rained. Ever since, the weatherman's been promising snow that has yet to turn up.

My brother-in-law had marvellous fun with the snow in Cornwall earlier in the week. There was no point in him driving to work, because down there everyone abandons their cars, often in the middle of the road, at the merest hint of snow. So he walked to work - three miles up and down hills, with no pavements, although fortunately no-one daring to drive either. I'm jealous.

Ansela, stop hogging the snow! Send some north!

We had a lot of snow in January (in New York), but a warm spell last week melted most of it.

Even when we got a foot, I didn't get classes canceled. We're a small and 99% residential campus, so we can always get to class. We only get things canceled if the professors can't get here.

You lucky people with snow.

A few feet of snow. Pretty cold though...

The fact that I am online at this time should show that there is no snow day. School computers FTW...

There's a whole load in Oxford too. Not sure how much, but much more than we had at the beginning of the week. I might have to go and take pictures later. Uni won't have closed though.

Should be on around 8-ish PST--which I know is rather late, but maybe I can pop in for the end or something. Or not! Either way, fun will be had. ;-)

With all the badfic out there, there must be others that would make good read-aloud sessions. {= P

Anyway, I have no idea when I'll have time, but my Skype name is, of all things, Neshomeh. Shocking, eh?

~Neshomeh

I'm still on campus right now, and work at 5pm (midnight GMT) but hopefully won't have too much a blip in between in getting home from here.

Skype name is JulyFlame.

I warn for lack of headset since I don't bring it to school with me, so extra noise on my end.

Email: kyria underscore thalia at hotmail dot com

I am aware that the time periods of this mission, canon, and fic do not align properly. My agent is not connected to normal timeline.

Here, have some fire on a stick!

Don't worry, I think I have Nuzgul attacking me right now. *twitch* Did I just see one? Where? WHERE?

I gift you with a homemade anti squirrel suit made form sue fur and a combat spork. hopefully they will help you.

*gives over a plate of the aforementioned 'special' baked product'

Enjoy!

A cooling fan of your choice, because although everyone else is complaining of the cold, where I live it's very hot.

... On second thought, I want it back! *grabs*

Hm, well, instead you can have a kitten. *hands over kitten*

That said, welcome! I can see from your post that you don't need to be asked to leave your sanity behind, so all's well. :)

Aieeee!
Welcome to the PPC Board. Please, deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *holds out bucket marked "Warg fodder"* We tend not to need it here. Have huggles, and know that you will be protected from the fuzzy horror here! Hah!
-Mad Maudlin

And to help you fight the squirrels (they're EVIL), have a red-tailed hawk. Has a phobia of smaller birds, though.

Will your Agents be based in a Response Center or a TARDIS?

I giveth you an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks eggs, spambots, and author wraiths! Use it for good, not evil, blah blah blah.

Enjoy your stay and watch out for the homicidal cucumbers. Garden vegetables aren't all that trustworthy.

Not broken it yet. Keep trying! Send those woodland creatures out a-missionin'. When they find the flyagarics, you can send 'em my way, and then get on with your hellos to everyone else.

Pads
Frustrated as all hell

Agent Christianne Shieh steps into the room with Agent Elerossiel a few steps behind. "Happy Birfday, Elcalion!"

*the door opens and Agent Trojie steps through, bearing a large platter of lembas*

'Plenty of lembas for all!'

"Er, hello?" A large amount of shaggy brown hair peeks around the doorframe, followed shortly by a girl. "I'm Maudlin. I heard Boarders were invited too... and besides, I brought gifts! Care for a Warhead?" She waves a bag of the sour candies triumphantly.

Drake looks around and heads for teh meat, smelling it, and then stabbing a piece of it with his combat spork and tasting it.

Naomi sighed, and walked over to Entropy.
"Greetings. I'm Naomi, and that fuzzball is drake, and DRAKE!!!!!! get away from...."
*splash*
Drake had leaned against a barrel, knocked it back, landed on it and shattered it, landing in the rum.

"Errrrrr, ATTENTION ALL AGENTS DO NOT KILL MY PARTNER!!!!"

Drake in the meantime had turned from himself into a small fox, albiet a sparkly, glittery fox with LARGE CUTE EYES, a heart shaped nose and a bow. in other words, a CAF

"NOW CE-LEB-RATE! NOW JU-BIL-ATE! RE-JOICE!"

Some of the party drinks kind of scare me. We're not supposed to remember this party afterwards, are we?

...I actually make these lists for fun while I'm sitting in class! The ones I make up in math are the most violent. If I were an agent, I might actually do most of these.

940. I will not lock my partner in the Aperture Science Testing Center, no matter how inept she is.

941. I will not paint a mural on the HQ hallway wall in the blood of Mary Sues.

942. I will not attempt to rickroll HQ, especially if I think Rick Astley was hot and really dig the whole 80's vibe he's got going in that video.

943. I am not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions, nor can they go on my missions for me.

944. Attempting to subtly convince the canon characters that I am a child molester is. Not. Funny.
-Except in special situations. However, it makes it difficult to do your job if they don't trust you. Really.

945. I am not allowed to attempt to purchase any canon character's soul, nor am I allowed to set up a "slave trade".
Even if I claim that it's a historical re-enactment.

946. Not allowed to join the Black Cats. Or the 'Sues. Or the fangirls.

947. I am not allowed to make posters of anti-flower propoganda.
-Or flyers. Organizing protests is right out.

948. The flowers may be plotting to steal Christmas, but I am still not allowed to organize a protest.

949. I am not authorized to fire Flowers.

946. Black body paint is NOT a uniform.

947. I am not the psychological warfare mascot, and therefore I may not conduct psychological experiments on the flowers. Or other agents.

948. Any reports submitted with my blood on them will result in disciplinary action in the future.
-The flowers do not even want to know how I managed to digitize my own blood.

949. I am not allowed to replace the no-drool videos with snuff flicks.
-Or pornos.

950. There is no monster living in the console.

951. I am not allowed to nickname the console 'stupid b***'. The monster will get offended.

952. I should not teach the flowers gang handshakes.

953. 'Best 2 out of 3' does not apply to missions.

954. A rubber band and a paperclip is not an authorized PPC weapon.

955. THE REVOLUTION IS NOT NOW, goddamnit.

956. If I insult an agent in another language, the advantage is lost if they're wearing a translator.

957. I may not jury rig a portal jammer and deploy it in HQ, or anywhere else for that matter.

958. Making canon characters cry is not what I was hired for.

959. No, I cannot get a pay supplement for every time a Sue annoys me.

960. I am not a 'Ninja in Training', so hiding in the ceiling vents and jumping out at people is not allowed.

961. I am also not allowed to induce a panic attack in my partner by suggesting to her that perhaps there ARE no vents, and we should keep the door open to avoid suffocating to death.

962. The minis do not like tootsie rolls, which are bad for their health.

963. None of the vending machines are trying to kill me. Probably.

964. I am not allowed to play with liquid nitrogen.

965. I am not allowed to experiment with bleeprin and ethyl alcohol.

966. I am not allowed to make a molotov cocktail with a bottle of alcohol and some bleeprin, even if I think it has a hilarious similarity to the mentos and coke experiment.

967. I am not allowed to threaten suicide with pop rocks and coke, nor with mentos and coke.

938) I will not genderbend Sabbat for fun. If I do, then my resulting death will be my own fault.

939) I will not allow Discworld's and/or Good Omens' Deaths into HQ
- What do you mean they can get in here anyway? Who let them in.
-THERE IS NOWHERE I CANNOT GO

1. I will not conduct inappropriate science experiments in HQ.
   -Unless it's my job.
   -Even then, I understand that I will do it in the appropriate facilities only.
   -The definitions of 'inappropriate' and 'appropriate' will be provided by someone who is not me.
   -Or my equally insane partner.
   -Or Agent Lux.
   -In fact, better to let Upstairs define them.
   
   936. I do not live in a musical. Therefore, I will refrain from bursting into a song and dance number when assassinating a 'Sue.
   -Even if it's a songfic.
   
   937. I am not to attempt to use anyone's ribcage for a hat.
   -Nor anyone's head for a chamberpot.
   -In fact, I am not allowed to carry out any canon character's graphic threats.

1. Traumatizing Amano Ginji in order to get him to toast all the 'Sues in the vicinity with lightning will result in an investigation of my sanity and capability, not to mention angry (armed) visits by fellow agents for harming a canon.
   
   932. While photographs of Lee "Apollo" Adama in various stages of undress are acceptable currency in HQ, pieces of his clothing are not.
   
   933. Revealing canonical crossdressers to other canons is usually in poor taste and/or dangerous to the canons. I will refrain from doing so unless it is necessary to the mission and I neuralyse them afterward.
   
   934. The Suncrusher is not a toy.

928) Holby City ED is not a substitute for Medical, even if I do think that my injury is too embarrassing to explain to Doc Fitz
- St. James' ED is also out of bounds
- Nor am I to go to any other canonical hospital for treatment
- Or to any World One hospital
- No, not even if I neuralyse the entire department to remove any trace of my presence
- If the injury was acquired in the continuum and the target is in that department, then that is okay

929) Ronon Dex is not my 'snuggle bunny'

930) I will not taunt the angry System Lord
- Or the hungry Wraith Queen

1. I will not attempt to create my own Daleks.
   923. Shockeye is not to be allowed anywhere near the cafeteria or kitchens thereof.
   -Or any restaurant.
   -Especially if anyone around suddenly looks older.
   924. I will not serve anyone blimmet meat.
   -Nor will I give them a blimmet coat to wear in the DragonKeeper Chronicles.
   925. I will not recruit a Taxxon without giving it a species change.
   926. I will not tamper with any TARDIS' chameleon circuit.
   927. I will not recruit a Nazgûl.

1. Doctors Crell Moset, Demagol and Jenna Zan Arbor are never to be allowed to meet.
   -The same goes for any other doctors and scientists of their brand of cruelty.
   899. If anybody has wound up in the same room as Agent Cavan Shenn, I will not lock the door on them.
   -He can lock the door on his own, thanks all the same.
   -I'm not to lock anybody in with Luxury, either, even to keep her from chasing me.
   900. I will not engage in drinking contests with members of species that have more than one liver, unless I am similarly equipped.
   901. No matter how balloon-like that canon superheroine's chest is, pins will not make her deflate. I will not experiment in this matter.
   -It is acknowledged that attempting to deflate Sues may still be considered amusing.
   902. I am not the long-lost Hair Washing Servant of Severus Snape.
   903. Glitter is not a food condiment.
   904. Unless I have found a coherent and efficient alternate means of communication, I will refrain from taking vows of silence.
   -Interpretive dance does not count as an alternate means of communication.
   905. Unless there is actually a location requiring it, a ballerina costume is not a suitable disguise for my mission.
   906. No, I can't shave the Wookiee.
   907. I am not to steal Wash's dinosaurs.
   -If I do, I deserve whatever Zoe does to me.
   908. My partner's eyebrows are not challenging me to a duel.
   909. Most Agents from the Trekverse have already had the 'Sexy Data Tango' inflicted upon them. I will not force them to endure repeat hearings.
   -I will never, never, never play that song where Data, Tasha Yar or any other canon character can hear it.
   910. I am not a Barbie Girl, the PPC is not a Barbie World, and offers to 'undress me everywhere' will lead to no sympathy whatsoever if Lux hears me.
   911. Despite the name, it is still wrong to convince somebody to drink a Molotov Cocktail.
   -Unless they're a Sue.
   912. I am to accept that I deserve both the stab wounds and the long litany of similar canon names if I imply Agent Shadowflame's name resembles that of a Sue.
   -She has a long list from Star Wars history, and she's not afraid to use it.
   913. NO, the Naruto tailed beasts do not belong in a petting zoo.
   -Further inquiries will see you directed to FicPsych, in the worrying case that you're unable to see why this is a Very Bad Idea.
   914. Even if I'm sure I'd do a better job, I am expressly forbidden from staging coups, mutinies or other takeovers to replace a canon character in a position of authority.
   915. If I can't get the mission done without that inflatable barnyard animal, it's time I re-evaluated my grasp of PPC procedures.
   916. My fellow Agents are not there to be dissected.
   -Even if I've never seen their like before.
   -EvenEspecially if I have a 'really interesting scientific theory'.
   918. I will not pit conventional vampire slayers against unconventional vampires.
   -No. Buffy will not be fighting that Anzati. Ever.

890) I will not stick Lori Starrett and Laura Roslin in a room together.
-Especially if I slash them together.
-Especially if I value my life, because both Bill Adama and Bill Fallis will want my head on a silver platter.
891) I will not mess with Bill Adama and Laura Roslin in front of Agents Christianne and Eledhwen.
-Nor will I mention Vampires and Battlestar Galactica in the same sentence.
-Or the name "Starlight Amoret Adama".
-Or the fic "Kindred: The Embraced ~Vampire Waltz~".
-If I must, I will refer to the title as "Battlestar Twilightica.
892) I will not attempt to airlock a PPC Agent.
-Or a Flower
-Or my partner
-Or the Uncommon Comma
-In fact, airlocking should be reserved for BSG Mary Sues
893) I will not go around claiming that I am the daughter/son of Laura Roslin and Bill Adama.
894) Cylons and Daleks should never meet. Never.
895) I shall not jump in a TARDIS and attempt to go to the Galactica.
-Especially if I'm not on a mission nor on vacation.
-Especially if all I want to do is slap Gaeta and Zarek and squee at Roslin and Adama.

889) I will not spike Agent Trojanhorse's food or drink Lustin and lock her in a room with Agent Luxury
- Locking her in a room with Agent Paddlebrains is also out
- If I do, then I will accept that the wrath of Agent Trojanhorse and her menagerie is my own fault and will not complain when I am stuck in the infirmary with an exorcism bell stuffed up my nether regions.

1. I will remember to frisk any Kender agents before return to HQ for items "lost" on the mission.
   - and return them to their rightful owners

886) Maito Guy and Bruce Armstrong must never be allowed to meet.
-Unless the purpose is to destroy a Sueworld with the ensuing explosion of youthful energy.

879) I will not use Kurotsuchi Mayuri's Super Human formula to incapacitate a Sue before assassination. Torture is not allowed.

880) I will not dance down the corridors singing 'I Am What I Am' at full volume.
-Especially if my singing voice has been likened to a car being crushed.

881) I must not spike Edward Cullen's animal blood with human blood.

882) I will not set up a death match between a Twilightverse vampire and any incarnation of Wolverine, Lady Deathstrike or X-23.

883) I will not start or participate in Pokemon battles in the corridors of HQ.

884) If I am ever in the Pokemonverse for a mission, I will not seek out Ash or any of his friends for a Pokemon battle.
- Unless it is to distract them from the assassination of a Sue.
- Likewise, I will only challenge Sues to Pokemon battles in order to distract them from my partner's approach from behind.

885) I will not disguise myself as a Goa'uld if the majority of the fic takes place in the SGC.
- On the same note, disguising myself as a Wrath in Atlantis is also a bad idea.

1. I will not substitute Twilightverse vampires for their incidentally-named kin in any other continuum.
   - Nor will I leave agents who are unfamiliar with Meyers' vampires alone with a TwiVampireSue and a stake.
   - Or garlic.
   - It will not end well.
   
   876. I will not recruit canon characters to make difficult kills for me. - Agent Iza
   
   878 a. My disguise generator is a sensitive piece of equipment and so I will not whack it against my console when it 'accidentally' gives me fur.
   - Or feathers.
   - Fangs are acceptable.
   
   878 b. My console is a sensitive piece of equipment and so I will not hit it with any random objects when it fails to give me a brain-safe mission.
   - Or a secret holiday to my paradise of choice.

1. I must remember that during the PPC's Quidditch matches, that accidentally taking out Lux is not a good idea. It only makes her think she likes you.
   
   872. I will not genderbend agents in the hall, it ust confuses them.
   
   873. I will not induce mass genderbedning of PPC HQ just to see if it will work on the flowers.
   - Do we even want to find out what would happen?
   
   874. I will not give agent Pads any exploding cigarettes, especially if i value my life.

I want to read this at least once.

Now with ultra-violent zombie action, the only thing that could possibly make this book better! YES!

After just having finished P&P (not strictly true; I have a presentation on it on Tuesday), this book is oddly appropriate. P&P is a good book, but any good book becomes boring when your teacher talks on and on about symbolism...

I might have to look into that. I never managed to make it through the original 'Pride and Prejudice', but this addition just might do it for me. :P ^_~

Thanks for the tip! XD

~ Rath ~

okay, please tell me this is a joke, right?

although, that does explain why the lights seemed a bit brighter. Power generation just found a new source of power.

That's just... absurd. Horrible. Sick. And stupid.

It does give me hope for the likelihood of getting my own stuff published, though.

What? No!

Equal parts amusing and squicky, as always. Fun read, I can only imagine the punishment is going to get worse from here, haha.

Although it is technically only semi-bestiality. Ye Goddesses, I just said "only". Sorry.

Shouldn't this be labeled "off- topic"?

MY IDENTITY

IT HAS BECOME KNOWN

Oh, wait. That's not my name.

...But how do I change that?

http://hungryugolino.livejournal.com/1133.html

That badfic was quite the steaming pile of crap; I'm glad it's dead. Menstrual cycles and insanity... What are the odds that it was actually a troll? Anyway, good work on the mission. Although the number's confusing - it says #4, but I don't see #3 anywhere on the LJ. By the way... A Trauma Center reference? Heh.

Maybe a little Sue-y, but if you make sure to concentrate on the giant robots rather than the humans it should be cool. Of course, I'm no expert on Transformers canon. I saw the Bay movie, but not from a fannish perspective. I only went because I was promised giant robots blowing stuff up and I just can't resist that.

"People just don't value their Bio lessons as much these days."

I do! And I got a long xenobiology lesson from Pads.

That VK one is just, ugh. That, that thing is not Kiryuu Zero. I don't know what manner of foul beast it is, but 'tis not the stoic Vampire that we all know and love.

Methinks that a marathon of VK and VK Guilty and location of a site holding VK manga scanlations may be in order so I can properly assess this atrocity.

Now I want to read IW... but 2000 pictures! *computer explodes*

But other than that, what about the X-Men comics. I've never read them, but one person told me that, at the end of the Twelve plotline, Cyclops died and reality was shattered and 'shards of possibility' were floating around, leading to anything having the potential to happen.

Very hilariously unexpected.

You do realize that this means Suevian and other counterparts will be there as well? It would be a very interesting meeting(s), to say the least...

Now I want to write that fic. :p

I would assume what it indicated was just the level of smut in the piece, more than the relative intelligence of FF.net reviewers or AFF reviewers. If the review on FF.net was good and the other one was horrible, I'd assume it had plenty of smut. If it were the other way around, I'd assume it had one of those cliffhanger-smut endings, where you suggest the smut but never actually get into it. That would make most AFF denizens mad, I think. :D

I just dive into a fic headfirst - reading other people's (often uninformed and ill-thought-out) opinions just interferes with my ability to judge a fic on its own merit (or lack thereof.)

You have to remember that AFF.n and FF.n are two very different audiences. People going to AFF are going to be looking more for smut than plot, and vice-versa at FF.n (mostly). If the reviews are good at AFF, it's likely to be more smut, less plot. If it's at FF.n, more plot (hopefully) and less pr0n.

Either way, I find most reviews to be most helpful when I compare the proportion of positive well thought out comments versus one-liners. If there's more 'omg, best story evar' and 'Dracos sooooo~oo hot!' than 'Well, this is good, but you should really work on these three points...' then I find that it's usually a pointless story. If both types seem to be outweighed by the flames and otherwise negative responses, then it's dually not worth reading.

I'd say the level of reviews are generally worse on AFF, unfortunately. I've seen utter dreck given rave reviews, simply for being 'hot', regardless of characterisation or plausibility, when it would get at least one negative comment on FF.net.

That said, I do tend to give decent reviews consisting of more than one or two words no matter what site I'm on (AFF, FF.net or LJ).

If I want to see my favourite characters have explicit sex (and I occasionally do), I have my better places to find it. Places with classier layouts and funnier jokes. Still, as far as I know, it's just FF.net with more smut, yeah? I haven't browsed it enough to have any idea what the general level of fic is. The only times I've been is when a specific fic has been recced to me.

I'm likely to treat the reviews with equal respect (translation: none) and either just read the fic myself to find out or not bother at all.

There are good fics on FF.Net, so I'm sure there's good fics on AFF.Net. However, the reviewers are much worse judges of good writing than the actual writers are in my experience so I don't bother taking them at face value.


(FYI, Adultfanfiction.net seems much more like smut for smuts sake than what I'm into (if Cassie gets back in time to read this she's gonna laugh her head off) so I don't go there very often.)