Visited family in the inner and outer western parts, might visit those in the north.

...FINALLY, after being snowed into Bostonarea due to Logan having near-white-out conditions Sunday. Sucked.

On the other hand, I played thirty some odd hours of Symphonia. This makes up for everything.

Third best Christmas movie ever (following Noise and Die Hard).

Well, when I've got the heater on full blast anyway.

Sorry if it rains, Brits. Don't Forget the Lyrics was on, and then we found the Top 20 Christmas Karaoke on TMF. Singing was a given.

I have just had my usual 12 hour bustrip from Scotland to London. It would have been fine apart from the three little chavs who embarked at Preston (at 2am) and proceeded to talk loudly for much of the rest of the journey!
Return journey to look forward to next week!

Though of course the train I took was three and a half hours late. >.> Which lead to me missing the last ferry out of Seattle to my home island, which lead to an emergency night in Seattle.

And we've also been getting dumped on this weekend. Snow. Right now we've nine inches. And the power was out for eight hours or so last night.

It's been fun.

Hope you get un-stuck, Leto. ^^; If you haven't already.

I need the rest at home - I'm working eight-hour shifts today and tomorrow because I work at a cinema and it's busy season. Gah. Hate hate hate. Thank God it's closed on Christmas Day.

(Actually, it's clearly not, but it's a nice bonus).

Well done to all those people who faced a marathon migration back home! Hope that the holidays are worth it. XD

I got the Oxford tube. So I got to read more PPC on the bus and be stared at. XD But at least there's a bus stop in Victoria so I didn't have to face the (real) tubes to get the train home to Chavstone.

Mind you, I'm only staying home until New Years, then I'm running back to Oxford and the peaceful bliss of my own bedroom that I don't have to share and an Internet connection I don't have to fight for.

I'm snug in my bed at home in DC right now, leaving the frozen wastes of Wisconsin behind me. I'm not sure if that's traveling though, or more a "college student who hasn't settled down yet" thing.

I'm hoping to see the inauguration, though--will that make up for the lack of "visiting new places"-ness?

I don't actually have anywhere to go as of now. Heh.

Mum's got to work Christmas, and Dad's having surgery on his leg, so he won't be going anywhere. We'll be nice and cozy at home. ;-)

I shall be going all the way down my cul-de-sac, nipping down the street, crossing the main road, and ambling down another street, to go to my parents'. A total journey time of ten minutes. Admittedly there will be a further five minutes in a car to my grandparents', but as they only live two miles from my house, we should probably skip the song and dance.

Yay for drunken Christmases in reach of one's own bed! (For that happy passing out experience.)

Not really anywhere to go for a 16 year old in the middle of such a ridiculous snowstorm, and my mum had a car accident so she needs me to take care of her anyway. Ah well.

I'm going to drown myself in fanfic, though. And try to watch Battlestar Galatica. Because Miss Cam introduced me to it. ^.^

Sadly I'm remaining at home in the suburbs of Chicago. Wish I could go somewhere... *sighs*

~Zoe~

Instead I'm stuck on a different continent than my husband, waiting for the idiotiotic UK government to decide whether I deserve a spouse visa or not.

Not that I'm, you know, bitter or anything.

Well, maybe just a bit.

To work and back every day...through ice and snow. It's quite exciting actually, like a mini-adventure each day.

My company paid for me to fly to the Emerald Isle for a long weekend so that all the members of our company could meet up at a Christmas party. (If you've been wondering why I haven't been posting lately...) :D

It was fantastic. The area we stayed in was beautiful. It was called Clifden. Small villages, lots and lots of bog and cliffs by the sea, gorgeous mountain ranges. Very wet, of course: I saw three rainbows in one day! Best. Christmas party. Ever.

Mmm...

*distributes virtual Irish pudding to everybody*

We will be visiting my grandmother during the morning and then dinner will be at my uncle's house. We will be joined by my other set of grandparents. My Christmas doesn't end until Saturday when I go to visit my grandfather and grandmother. We will be travelling in Virginia and Maryland.

with pillows and blankets and mattresses and teddy bears. It's called Sleep Land and I need it after two weeks of exams (even if they were only mocks. God, the real ones are gonna kill me). :)

My closest family members who do NOT already live under the same roof as I are about twenty-four hours of travel away, the complete opposite side of the planet. Can't exactly afford the fare, either. So I'm staying home and wasting time. :)

Enjoy your trip(s)!

*ducks the pole*

300 mile drive across the state from university to home, took 7 hours. Snow all the way, and snowing for a good part of it.

I've already traveled from college to my boyfriend's house to home. On Monday I'm going to travel from home to my paternal grandparents' house, then to my maternal grandmother's house, to my uncle's house, to home, and finally back to college. Three different states involved in all that. Looots of driving.

~Neshomeh, who has not been able to catch enough private time to record anything that she's promised to, and it's annoying her.

Guess what I got for Chanukah... Little Red's Fairy Tales volume 1 special edition by Apple and Kiwi! Ooo! This would be a good time to post my PPC holiday song!

PPC, Oh PPC
to the tune of Chanukah, Oh Chanukah

PPC, Oh PPC, let's kill the Mary Sue
We can have a party, as we kill the Stu too
Gather around now Agents, we have stories to slay
Legolas is pregnant, and Arwen's gone away.

And while we are killing
In each death we shall take delight
For each Sue we shall spite
We shall set things to rights
And fight for the canon that we love.

For each Sue we shall spite
We shall set things to rights
And fight for the canon that we love.

~Zoe~

Yay, it's going to start getting lighter! Our bodies will stop craving carbs in order to turn our seratonin into melatonin! The world will be joyous and pretty!

Happy holidays, from your resident grumpy old Yorkshire elf.

And have a query. Would it be acceptable to suggest alternative theories regarding PPC origins?

Wow.
Hm. I'm not sure whether to wish I had your problems, or point and laugh. Which is less likely to get me smote (smitten? o.O), I wonder?

...ohwait, that's right, you don't smite the unjust with lightning. Darn.

... Well pants. Time to find a new central figure for my theological beliefs then. Or go into denial. One of those I guess, heh.

Though really, hS, I think it's the sheer amount of stuff you churn out on a regular basis that has earned you the reputation of a minor deity--that and the fact that it's good stuff. The Permission-Giver part is sort of incidental.

But still, in the immortal words of Monty Python's God:

"Stop grovelling! And don't apologize! Every time I try to talk to someone, it's 'sorry' this and 'forgive me' that and 'I'm not worthy.' It's like those miserable psalms--they're so depressing. Now, knock it off!"

~Neshomeh

Still, can we really say it's a BAD thing for Permission Givers to be offered so much (almost-)unconditional respect? We defer to you guys, and give you the authority/support to take charge when things get out of hand.

But still, I'm glad to be rid of the bowing and scraping. *brushes dirt and Sharp Stones* from her knees*

;p

Drat. They were a hassle to get, too, this time of year, no mistake, I swear, those Dwarves get pushier every time I see them, oh, it's "We need to be paid in gold, not pink blood, I don't care how sparkly it is," and "But that kind of rock doesn't exist, you've got the wrong universe," and "That's physically impossible, ma'am," all the way.

Are you sure there aren't any deities around? Maybe a shrine to Makes-Things, or something? Hey! If we raise a shrine to the SO, there might be a pay raise in it! *Of course, the agents rush off, despite the almost complete impossibility of a pay raise of any kind*

Duly noted, hS.

People become confused by his godlike attractiveness, and next thing you know they're sacrificing goats and singing hymns to his glory . . .

. . . what?

Well, maybe it is just me, then. :P

But yes. The Board has traditionally been a pure democracy (or possibly a flat-out anarchy. It's all in your perspective)--and while PGs can and should participate, and usually their opinions are well-informed, since they've been around so long, their opinions don't overrule other people's.

Also, Permission isn't actually a difficult hoop to jump through, or shouldn't be. PGs are mostly there to make sure that incoming authors 1) can spell (or spellcheck), and 2) don't write Sueish agents. Noble causes, I'm sure we all agree.

*Gives Miss Cam some homemade chocolate* Also, thank you for being the reason I found the PPC.

Happy wintery snowyness!

Somewhat late of course, and we seem to be getting along fine on LJ. But I've never seen you on the Board!
*hands over Adama/Roslin plushies*

CCY: Season's greetings, Miss Cam! It's great to see you here.

Miss Cass: Hello. It's wonderful to meet the person who inspired me. I believe my colleague Miss Angel has already added her greetings further down.

Winter Event makes things so much easier... Have a good one, filled with much Hot Bleepolate / Chilled Bleepka by the fire / air conditioner, depending on your hemisphere.

It's nice to see you around the Board.

Happy holidays to you too, miss cam.

Want some Anti-Lustin Chocolates?

Nice to see you here--we are not forgotten! :-D

Happy holidays to you too.

Nice to see you! (...Okay, you don't KNOW me, but that's not the point. Convenient Cake? *offers*)

Oh! Happy Holidays to you too. *worships again*

~Zoe~

I understand you're no longer in the OFU business but can I take a moment to thank you for all the inspiration you've given me? *in the background a student screams. Miss Angel spins around* Be quiet! I'm trying to hold a conversation here! We told you what the punishment for glomping Fay-sensei was, you should have listened if it's so painful!

*Oozaru Angel pushes her OFU counterpart out of the way* Merry Christmas, Miss Cam, nice if you to drop by. :)

I was sorry to hear you're not continuing OFUM2, but continue to worship you. *does so*

These are even more confusing than most badfic. I mean, it's almost impossible to tell what is the story and what are the author's notes. Do these people have any concept of how to construct a story...okay, I guess not. Still, *wanders away, muttering*

What the frak is wrong with Quizilla? I'm even more offended by the "Yue" stories, because that's one of my names.

Someone kill these.


(I swear to the Valar I did not write that frakking piece of sh*t, though)

'Poster expressions' is very, very screwed up. It just might be for the DoWTF. The 'Yue' ones... well... Japanese? In LOTR? Stupid, stupid Suvians. No. Just no. Never mind the fact that the name makes it sound a whole lot like a Naruto crossover, even if it wasn't supposed to be one. Honestly, I'm getting sick of all this retarded filth. Someone really should take a large, burning, and preferably pointy object to these 'fics.

You do this because you are a much, much braver person than me. *looks at list again* *Much* braver.

It'll take us a lot longer than 70 years to go through all the LOTR tripe...

And congratulations on your thesis!

Have you written anything yet? This is so intriguing! *hands over graduated cylinder*

*pelts with bleepolate*

~Zoe~

Have a Prinny suit! It provides a large stat boost and makes people say "-dood" at the end of every sentence. Oh, and it makes the wearer very explosive (in a videogame-style, resurrect-able way) when thrown. Also, congratulations!

Sky Bison?

And to answer your question - nothing huge, I think. July has put in a plea for help with all the wanted pages at the wiki, but that's hardly earth-shattering.

Congratulations on your graduation!

Yay, reinforcements!

At last, more people willing to take on the horrors of badslash! Keep a ready supply of Bleeprin, watch out for Lux, and why not join the AHAIRQL? We need more players, what with Pads being unable to play due to being heavily pregnant.

*eagerly awaits first mission*

And on a personal note, thank you for picking a Slash story to PPC that I can actually read.

hS

Are all the human agents, specifically the ones from the 'real world', from this time? Are there any, say, from the Victorian era? Or from the Roman Empire?

It probably fluctuates. There could be a dozen Untanglers one day and a hundred the next without anyone actually joining or quitting, due to the shifts in time-space. Some may be present in the here-and-now more frequently than others--for example, Trojie and Pads exist far more than Nume and Ilraen do most of the time, and they exist more than someone like Head Nurse Suzine in FicPsych, who has a name but hasn't actually had any spoken dialogue (yet).

In the case of the Invasion, there were probably more existent agents due to the fact that the universe was paying attention to them. When the Invasion was over, they went back to not being particularly real.

That's how I think of it, anyway.

~Neshomeh

The highest known room number in HQ (the Special Operations Room) is about 74.5 million. And the lowest is about -10. So there's quite a lot of space going around. But then we have the SO's statement to Jay and Acy that there are only a dozen Untanglers...

hS

If your writing sample wasn't friend-locked, so I could actually read it...

(I've both friended you and left a comment on your LJ, so it should be easy for you to find me)

Writing considerations aside, one thing concerns me - all field agents count as "front line" agents, so you're not likely to get any special treatment for that. Agent sanity (the more the better) and/or unique targets are much more likely to get prototype weapons, but as any software engineer can tell you, "prototype" really is just a market-speak synonym for "buggy and incomplete". (And any PPC-engineered cybernetics are likely to be very... unique. In a C3PO meets Inspector Gadget sort of way.)

As it stands, these agents could be very well written, and they could be very poorly written. I'd like to see your writing sample.

My name is Tasari/Glass/Tatharien and I read manga. I am a yaoi fan. I have an extensive collection of manga scans featuring males getting friendly and/or naked. My least favorite of these follow the seme/uke polarization trend very strongly. There are quite a few mangaka (and hence fanwriters, poorly informed about gay male relationships) that do this. This is a form of fetishization and no more accurate to most people's lives and experiences than most other fetishes are to everyday life. It is, however, a strong stereotype, though articulated differently in different regions. Unfortunately, one of the warning signs of poor writing is lack of research...

We only even know seme and uke because Pads picked up a smattering of fangirl-Japanese off of ffr on lj. And yet we still know of weepy ukes. Actually, we haven't yet come across any ukes that aren't weepy. Do any exist, outside of manga canons we cannot understand?

Minis come to be? For certain continuums that don't already have minis how does it get decided? (I feel like I asked this question before, but I can't remember the answer and I can't find it on the board).

You guys are a good team. I'm looking forward to the third (and please, please, final) part, haha.

Y'know, there's a gazebo right there. All we have to do is swap it out for the carnivorous one...

'as to pull Boromir though the threads of magic had been the final straw, she was tired from training as well. All her Elven-strength had left her. Legolas went forward immediately after she fell, and touched her

Nat: Don't.
Cassie: *looks innocent*

forehead. Usually he could see inside her head, feel her

Nat: Or that one.
Cassie: *even more innocent*

feelings, and most of all when he touched her

Nat: ...Oh, for Eru's sake...
Cassie: *angelic*'

Pure Win. I am now your devoted fan / whipping boy.

You two never fail to make me laugh.

http://rc5593.webs.com/mst1part2.htm

THIS is KG's site.

*kicks self*

"For the last time, this is not going to be an excuse for a brawl!" sotto voce "Or at least I hope not."
"Sixdammit. Tha's no fun."
"Besides, you're drunk already."
"I'm no'- not drunk!"
A sigh. "Yes. Yes, you are."
"'m not."
"Then would you care to explain the bottle of gin in your coat pocket?"
"'s for emergencies."

Archer rolled his eye and pushed open the door, blinking somewhat at the decorations. Back home, solstice celebrations were...well, somewhat more low-key. Ah well, when in Rome... (Although he had to admit to not knowing exactly where Rome was)

Sabbat pushed past him, heading for the table of Bleep products. Why he was doing this wasn't entirely clear, as he'd far rather drink something he knew the provenance of than trust something from an unknown source, but he'd probably decided that if there was going to be a brawl, that was where it would start.

Archer watched him go, then rolled his eye again (this was beginning to give him a headache) and started to make his way across the room to the snacks, careful not to bump into anyone. If there was going to be a brawl, he wasn't going to be the one to start it.

Since WikiMaster was sick of Retconitis (apparently, his author found out he was 'over the top' and tried to delete him), the Keeper of Fanfics, a DIY Chaos Daemon created as an emissary to the PPC was sent to the Christmas party in his stead. Savoring the food and drink laid out before him, he was having a very good time until he saw the Space Marine.

Not ready for a fight, he spread printed copies of Legendary Goodfic in a circle around himself, and begean negotiations with the Ironic Overpower to keep himself from being noticed.

Cautiously, Tirsaer peered into the room and, once he was positive that nothing was on fire (yet), entered. His partner, Ryni, followed, glaring at everyone and everything in sight.

The two made their way to the food-covered table, where Tirsaer grabbed a handful of cookies to munch on. "Hey, these're pretty good," he observed around a mouthful of crumbs.

Ryni, on the other hand, declined to touch any of the food. "Truly, Tirsaer, one should be wary of accepting nourishment from such an unreliable and uncertain source."

"Meh, it's Christmas. Try losing the paranoia, will ya?"

Zodfang, having decided to make his entrance with a mighty kick to the door, subsequently made his entrance as if he were a conquering king, confidently looking around as he strolled in, a wild grin baring his teeth.

"OI, 'OOMIES! DIS A PARTY OR WOT?!" he shouted, before immediately setting course for the food and drink tables.

Deciding to be a bit less conspicuous (and obnoxious) than his partner, Marcus simply walked into the room, closing the door behind him. A couple minutes after they had gotten back from that absurd double-mission and sent the report, the console had beeped again. Zodfang had been about to smash the damn thing, until they'd seen that it wasn't a mission. Instead, it was an invitation from Ansela Jonla, to a Christmas party. Agent Ansela had joined sometime during Marcus' suspension, but they'd both heard of her at least somewhat. It helped that she had a reputation, especially for supposedly keeping a second Armoury behind closed doors. Marcus hadn't been too keen on going, mostly due to the mission putting him in a sour mood. However, while Zodfang had no concept of Christmas, he did have a concept of wild partying, and practically dragged Marcus out of the RC. Being even less keen on having his arms ripped off than going to the party, he elected to simply go along with the eerily-jovial Ork.

Besides, the veteran agent thought. It's Christmas, I might as well have some fun.

That was what found him walking after his partner in the middle of a throng of Agents, all partying and enjoying themselves. There were some familiar faces, but a lot of them were people he didn't recognise. So many had died, retired, or been recruited in his year of absence that it wasn't surprising that he didn't know too many people he really noticed, but still somewhat saddening. Not that he'd let that ruin his mood.

"Yo, Marcus!"

The voice caught his attention, causing him to look to his left where a peculiar-looking Agent stood. He was a young man with long black hair, wearing wire framed glasses on his boyish face. There was a bit of black to his uniform, but most of it (including the hood) was red and yellow. Marcus couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face; this was an Agent he did remember, and one that'd always amused him at that.

"Hello, agent Kalmer."

"Didn't think you were the type to go f'r these, man!" Kalmer laughed, clearly a bit tipsy. He'd always been strangely cheerful for someone who worked in the DAVD.

"Well, I am, sometimes. Why not? Figured, might as well have some fun if they chose Christmas to put me back in," Marcus replied, shrugging a little. "Anyway, I'll just go mingle, might get a drink. See you later, Kalmer, we oughta catch up with each other sometime, anyway."

"No w...worr...what'stheword? Worr...worries! Thassit! No worries, Marcus, sees ya!"

Stifling a laugh, Marcus left the drunk Agent to his own devices, seeing who he could run into. Besides, he had to keep Zodfang from hurting somebody.

Deryn paused from trying to surreptitiously sneak some of the Bleep-products into her bag to stare aghast at the boombox. "What- who thinks a boombox is appropriate for music around Christmas?" she spluttered. "What happened to everyone, you know, getting together and singing- off-key, sometimes, I'll grant, but- singing carols?"

"What about CDs?" Leas asked, reaching into his bag.

Deryn waved a hand. "Background music for when the conversation falters, and if you sing along, mostly you're going to be loud-" She stopped when Leas pushed a board and attachable beard into her hands. "Um?"

Leas smiled. "The human touch, right?" he said, pulling out a hat for himself.

Deryn put the board down for a moment to put the beard on, the picked the board up again and gave it an experimental wobble. "I'm not sure about this…"

"I don't think it uses the wobble board much, so you should be fine there," Leas said. "Now, note… hmm…" Deryn joined him after a moment, and they hummed together for a little while. "All right, got it?"

"Got it," Deryn said, giving the board another wobble. She took a deep breath. She could do this.

"And a one, a two, a one two three and-"

"Early on one Christmas morn a joey kangaroo
Was far from home and lost in a great big zoo
'Mummy… where's my mummy? They've taken her away.'"

"'We'll help you find you mummy, son. Hop up on the sleigh'," Leas sang for the deeper part, then lightened up a little as Deryn joined him for the rest of the narration.

"Up beside the bag of toys little joey hopped,
But they hadn't gone far when Santa stopped
Unharnessed all the reindeer and Joey wondered why
Then he heard a far off booming in the sky."

The two stopped to glance at the boombox, then shrugged at each other and went on, Deryn trying out the wobble board.

"Six white boomers, snow white boomers!
Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun!
Six white boomers, snow white boomers!
On his Australian run!"

...a youngish-looking man with slightly pointed ears and long dark hair.

"Heya!" Cassie yelled, bouncing over to Ansela cheerfully and producing a very large amount of chocolate. "Merry Christmas! Isn't this great? How are you?" Without waiting for a reply she dashed off to greet everyone else.

Nat strolled over with the stranger. "Sorry about her, she's had about half that supply of chocolate already. This is Kelvin, by the way." The Elf nodded, smiling uncertainly. "He's our new partner. Cassie's been trying to explain to him about Chritmas, but I think she just got him more confused."

Kelvin nodded. "Hopefully someone will be able to explain it to me before the end of the day." He smiled again, looking around. "So, now what?"

"We're last on the list to have Christmas," explained Scientist Lori as she strode in on her husband (and lab partner) Bill's arm. "It's three hours away."
"But we don't give a frak about that!" added Agent Eledhwen cheerfully. So much for elven poise.
Lori rolled her eyes. "Next time, I am never going to let those two anywhere near Battlestar Galatica..." she muttered.

"Heard there was a party goin' on," Zach remarked, snagging some food.

"'Course, it's not even Christmas yet, but that doesn't mean we can't party," Sara grinned, setting a basket of small wrapped parcels under the tree. "Help y'selves."

Tawaki, Tadkeeta, Dustin, Five of Six, and K-9 emerged. K-9 was trying to sing "O Holy Night" in the original French, with about as much success as a certain canonical K-9 had had with "We Wish You a Merry Christmas".
"Merry Christmas," said Tadkeeta.
"Mind the wings," Five reminded Dustin.

"MER-RY CHRIST-MAS" said Agent Omicron, entering the room.
"Wait," said Agent Tasha. "Don't Daleks only say that in that really bad Christmas song?"

The Agent and the Disentangler came in, with a boombox blaring "Song for Ten".

Snatching up a bar of bleepolate, she munched as she looked around, snickering at the sight of the tree angel and waved to Ansela as a few other agents began to trickle in. "Your idea, I take it?"

I managed to sneak in a post yesterday. Anyone noticed?

Cookies for everyone!

Might be a bit of a short post in that party, sorry, but I'm trying to focus on my mission.

Alas, I have no gifts for you yet. But then, I haven't gotten gifts for anyone else yet, either. ... It's been one of those years.

As a substitute, I give you the first part of the FicPsych story I'm working on and one more chance to contribute to the flavor of the thing with suggestions for canon characters and the badfics they came from.

~*~

The power snapped out.

Imagine, if you will, that you are standing on a beach somewhere. It doesn't particularly matter what beach. Imagine that the day is calm and that the waves lap gently against the shore. Imagine the soft hissing noise as the water slides back through the sand into the sea. Imagine the silence as the next wave gathers.

The next wave is a tsunami.

In the Department of Fictional Psychology, Suvian voices crashed through the walls with the force of a sonic boom. Even the combined cries of the canon characters couldn't completely cover the insidious suggestions slicing through the air (or arrest the author's arbitrary alliteration).

Head Nurse Suzine forcibly spat out her decaf Bloffee before she could choke on it. The spray drenched the potted fern hanging around the donut table, but completely missed her white skirt. No one quite knew how she managed these things.

Was that necessary? said the fern. Not that I dislike Bloffee, but really.

"No power. No Four-S," Suzine replied. "This is Bad." She put her mug down on the nearest surface and fumbled her way to the supply cabinet. She always made sure the nurses' lounge had an emergency cache of the most popular sedatives, just in case a situation arose that couldn't wait for access to the B-ware, as the heavily-guarded supplies in Unit B were affectionately known. This was definitely one of those situations. After some trial and error with her keyring, she got the cabinet unlocked, and not a moment too soon. As predicted, the nurses came running.

Well, not running, really, as that would have caused them all to fall over themselves in the darkness. It was more of a rapid shuffle. Suzine switched on a penlight from the cabinet and shone it at the doorway, nearly blinding Nurse Elms and Nurse Pablum.

"Oh boy, I'm glad you're here," said Nurse Elms, whose uniform was rather singed. "I don't know what's going on, but if we don't get Raistlin contained immediately—"

Suzine waved Elms silent. "What's his condition?"

"Post-Traumatic Bad Slash Syndrome," said Elms. "He keeps switching between looking for Tanis Half-Elven and being sick, screaming 'oh gods why?!', and trying to blast us with lightning."

"He's praying to Bilius?" remarked Nurse Parwill from behind her.

"Shush, you."

Suzine sighed. "Fine. Take this." She handed Elms a small frying pan from the sedatives cabinet. It was made of aluminum and said "No. 2 – Mild" on the bottom. Beneath that, in a smaller parenthetical note, it said "1d6."

"Thanks!" said Elms, who turned and pushed her way back through the crowd.

"Next?" said Suzine, and Nurse Dewstan stepped up.

"Woobie!Legolas; keeps violently cuddling anyone who gets too close."

"And taking his pants off," added Nurse Pablum.

"And taking his pants off."

Several nurses curled their lips.

"I see," said Suzine. She considered for a moment, then selected something that resembled a small baby bottle with a candy nipple. "Wet the candy bit in his mouth, stick it in the bottle, shake it up, and put it back in his mouth. Repeat until he goes to sleep. I think this one is Dorwinion wine–‏‏flavored. Next?"

~*~

I will endeavor to find enough privacy to do some recording over the next couple of weeks. Again, Merry Christmas!

~Neshomeh

*hands everyone electrum-decorated, paired lightsporks* Don't ask how I got that much electrum. They can be joined to form a double-blade, or used separately. Each one contains a Kaiburr crystal (From KotOR-verse; if you're very lucky, you can get a decent amount of them randomly), a Topic Shard (from all of those topic breaks), and a Logic Fragment (Logic shatters under pressure from badfic). Yes, those last two seem to appear as shiny crystalline objects. The lightsporks could be any color, because having every one of them red from the Kaiburrs might not be such a good idea, and the other pseudo-crystals vary heavily in color. Enjoy the shiny objects!

*dons hat* So, who wants to start on the bad jokes first?

Two gifts, actually.

1/ It is, of course, the last day of the PPC Advent Calendar.

See it here. Today's image is quite a big one, as a special treat.

2/ Recorded Received by me a few days ago now, I have the third edition of our semi-regular broadcast from HQ: Radio Nutmeg.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

The note from Agent Closed I was sent with it says that it's "an exciting family adventure romp through the wilds of New Caledonia, unless that's the film I saw last week down in town". Make of that what you will.

And Merry Christmas, one and all!

hS

And for some odd reason, it seems to be raining. *blinkblink*

*chucks graduated cylinder with Santa hat* *goes back to ogling various people on BSG* Christmas is three hours away for me, but frak that.

…and are already tired of the cold, here is a song for thinking warm. Note: you'll have to highlight it.

I won't actually be getting involved for another few hours. I just thought I'd post it while I still had the idea in my head.

I got a machete, although it didn't scream PPC to me as I only found the PPC yesterday.

I did get a one-a-day calender of The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said, though. And lots of shiny chocolate. And a laptop, so I can write in places other than my bedroom and still be able to read it later! (I love my parents.)

My youngest sister and I got a t-shirt that says "Your Intelligence is Stupid". It is quite common to think that of the Sues you meet.

75% of the clothes I got were black.
Also a bed warmer. Which immediately made me think 'Great, now the Narrative Laws of Comedy are going to have even more reason to drag me out of bed.'

I like the loon thing. Very nice.

I got lots of socks, though; nice socks. And I got a lovely copy of Beowulf.
And chocolate...that's sort of PPC, right?

As I've stated in a previous thread, I got Apple and Kiwi's Little Red's Fairy Tales SE from my parents for Chanukah. I guess that's PPCish.

~Zoe~

Which is pretty traditional PPC.

From my sister, who read the PPC ages ago and knows how much I love it. It's GREAT. A big, fat book with pictures on every page - claymores, sword-breakers, Indian punching knives... my parents were a little surprised that I was practically drooling over it. :p

That said, if anyone wants help clarifying a weapons or armour-based charge, let me know!

I got an entire book about the history of the English language, which made me think of DTE.

Other things make me think of the PPC for rather obscure reasons: A Voltaire CD, because Lycaenion is the one who introduced him to me; A recording of Once More, With Feeling, because I'm currently working on a musical mission; and the Dr. Horrible DVD, because I first learned about it on the Board.

And a really pretty medieval-ish dress that makes me feel like I'm in LOTR...which doesn't have much to do with the PPC but I need to squee about it anyway because it's so COOL!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Yule, Happy Kwanzaa, et cetera! Glod bless us every one!

No Ben Barnes. Talk about a downer!

*sigh* Well, Miss Cam converted me over to the BSG fandom, and I got oodles of notebooks and chocolate. Not much else.

... which makes me sad that the OFUR is set before it came out. It's already showing a few potential Sue-death methods, though.

I felt as though I'd fallen into a Sue's Christmas when I saw my sister's collection. If there was a single thing in it that wasn't pink and/or sparkly, I'm a Flower. I felt like scrambling for the nearest sharp pointy, but that was a nail file, so it wouldn't have done much damage anyway.

Vodka, orange juice, and one small blue hedgehog...

A mixture of Melange, Water of Life, and Vodka that only Reverend Mothers or Kwisatz Haderachs can drink with ease*!

*Although ordinary females could try it with a slim chance of survival.

"Flaming Denethor".

Not sure what it is, but it has to be served on fire.

Lord of the Rings one (no name for it yet)

Tall glass
Two shots of Orc-draught
One shot of vodka
Add a few ice cubes and fill the glass with lemonade, then add a cherry on a stick.

"Yes, I'm having fun. Or I was, until people started asking me if I was having fun, which I think is a bit odd. I mean, I'd assume it'd be obvious if I wasn't enjoying myself." He frowned slightly, totally oblivious to any innuendos they were making. After a moment he turned to Kumori. "And yes, we do have mistletoe in Middle-earth. We've just never used it for things like... kissing under." He turned pinker.

...and began poking Cassie as well.

"Two hands for something!" he chortled, but the other two managed to understand his broken sentence.

He backed away from Nat's and Cassie's retaliating pokes, trying to block them and attack them at the same time.

"Bugger barrel two attack not fair!" he laughed, and the two stopped.

"What?"

Zach used their momentary distraction to poke them squarely in the stomach.

*...most Bionicle sets prior to Metru Nui, excepting the really old Matoran, and if you know where to get them please send the info to Lee stat. Also, a Vahi mask. Lost mine*

.... *Frowns*

How did this escape my notice?

I got my START in Bionicle fandom. *HANDS TWITCH MIGHTILY*

I can't claim--I have too much on my plate as it is--but... please, terminate it with EXTREME PREJUDICE, thank you. *GLARES IN FURY*

...DO NOT UPSTAGE TAKANUVA OR THE TOA NUVA. EVER. DO AND DIE. ... *Is calm now*

Ah well, hope the mission goes well. Would offer my services as a beta, but don't know crap about that fandom, y'know? Well, good luck.

But that's mostly flag-waving and pleas; the departments have been known to work together seamlessly.

That said, allow me to point out that the author has named herself "PrincessCaspien95" - the numbers I can ignore. The fact that our unfortunate Narnian prince has had a sex change is difficult. Tha fact that she SPELLED THE NAME WRONG is unforgiveable.

I'll be glad to do a joint mission with a slasher if anyone's interested - killing Sues is a pleasure. Pads, Trojie? Anyone else?

Legolas Thranduilion in close proximity with "I don't want to be that type of person who doesn't give a shit about their former lover."

It seems this person has at least read the books, but... but... *brain a-splode*

I'd help, but I am by no means short of things to kill. Still, I wish those who'll take it on the best of luck.

It's nice to know someone is looking out for the folks in Torchwood. I bet there is quite a bit of badfic in that world.
It's funny, though. The story you PPC'd was rather dull, or at least it seemed that way. I mean, did anything actually happen in it?
Good job. You made it interesting and funny!

It's both funny and disturbing in a bizarre way. And if I recall my Torchwood correctly, the crew isn't exactly the picture of a smooth-running team itself. Still, I can't help but snicker at the image of a kid living in the Hub: "I don't have my homework 'cause a Dalek from last Sunday's invasion got into the Hub and we all nearly died only Ianto managed to kill it with a rocket launcher and all the fighting and stuff damaged the computers including the one with my essay. But Tosh said she could get most of the stuff on the computers back by Wednesday so if you can wait I'll have it in by then. Honest."

Good job killing the Sue, and congradulations on finally finishing the mission!

I don't see why not. It's a sensible canon solution to protesting yourself from unpleasant force users.

Never seen it done (or used it myself), but ysalamiri-usage would be fairly canonical. At least for the New Republic era - I seem to recall a statement that Myrkr was effectively blockaded/off-limits for the Old Republic.

Elcalion

Good to meet you. *offers a towel*

Hello hello hello! Welcome, and have a graduated cylinder! *tosses cylinder*

*gifts you with Deadly Doses: A Writer's Guide to Poisons by Serita Deborah Stevens & Anne Klarner* Enjoy!

~Zoe, off to find her own copy of the book~

Here, have a Greatsword.

Have a Prinny suit. It increases stats and makes people say "-dood" at the end of every sentence. It makes them explode when thrown, but that usually isn't much of a problem. It may or may not come with complimentary Prinny bombs and a pair of swords.

-Very slightly less new newbie

Another PPCer in my age group, I say "Yay" and partake in much rejoicing! Welcome, friend! Have a pair of dice.

I gift thee with an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but spambots and author wraiths, too! Use it for good and not evil.

Oh, and the Warhammer 'fic is that way. *points up and to the left* ;-)

Good to meet a new face!

May I direct your attention to the PPC Wiki, if you have not already located that fine resource. Editors are always welcome. *drops an anvil marked 'HINT' on Zotz's head*

It is always advisable to read The Original Series (not connected to Star Trek) if you haven't already. In fact, I believe that hS insists on it these days. Well, he very strongly requests it anyway.

Beware of the Legendary Badfic. Even the summaries have been known to scar minds, so click on any links to those most foul of perils at your own risk.

Welcome, leave your sanity at the door (such a useless thing is not needed here) and join the fun.

Many, many welcomes. *presents you with a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object*

Someone should be along shortly to present you with the recommended links, most likely JulyFlame.

Welcome, brother PPCer.

(Wow, we're getting a lot more male PPCers recently. I reckon the Board's got nearly double the number of males it had when I joined, though maths isn't my strong point.)

BTW, will your agents be based in a TARDIS or a Response Center?

Have a Long-Handled Cheese Stomper and some flame-roasted Suenicorn! I would give you man-flesh, but it's too nummy. Bleah.

Here's a vibrospork, and welcome to the PPC!

I could swear I've seen that basic outline (Rose -> Timelady) before. I don't honestly think it's intellectual property thieving.

Have you worked out the details of how the TARDIS can somehow turn Rose into a Time Lady? Given that whole thing where, y'know, Time Lords are the ones that have graduated from the academy on Gallifrey and all that. To be a Time Lady she'd have to have all the knowledge a Time Lord would pick up at the academy, and that seems remarkably similar, to me, to the season four finale, and the thing where you can't have a Time Lord consciousness in a human brain. So you'd be having to change her biology to make her into a Gallifreyan, and, alright, the chameleon arch can be used to do the process the other way around, but then you'd need a specific reason why chameleon arches or something like them to turn non-Gallifreyans into Gallifreyans would have been invented and installed in TARDISes.

Short version: how on earth is this going to work? What are your ideas so far?

Sporked a story and then wrote my version of it. I did give credit where the idea came from. The only people who didn't like what I had done (or at least the only people to tell me so) were the original authors. Other people have complimented me on a well written story.

Anyway, authors can't actually claim ownership to ideas. Except if the idea is very, very specific. Which may or may not be the case here. I haven't read Lady Clark's fic (not do I tend to; she leaves raving reviews for fics I intend to spork), but I have come across several fics that had elements of the plot she used way back in that short period of time that I still read Whofics.

I've seen a few where the Doctor gets stuck in the other dimension leaving Rose with the TARDIS (heck, one of those even inspired me to write a short fic about Rose trying to get out of the building before it colapsed). There are many other fics where Rose in one way or another becomes a Time Lady (if not the mother of one). And of course there are many, many fics that do a character replacement for series three, though usually of Martha.

But I like your approach to it: Rose will react to changing into a different creature; she will respond differently to things that the Doctor would. I'd say go for it. Good plot ideas deserve good stories.

If you're going to post the spork and your version of the story in different locations very few people are going to notice and/or take offense that you have done both.

It wasn't a badfic, persay, but it definently wasn't good. I could think of a thousand things I would have done differently and made it better. But like Sedri said, you can't just steal someone's idea.

The best thing to do, would be to as Lady Clark-Weasely if you can write your own version of her idea, making sure to say you're doing it differently, and if she gives you permission you can run with it. The downside to this is that you really really shouldn't spork any of her work afterwards. That's just rude.

...and they all boil down the point that deliberately taking someone else's idea without their permission leaves me so sick with guilt that I couldn't do it. It's not right. Just because it's fanfic doesn't mean we shouldn't respect someone's idea. I would be deeply wounded if someone pinched my 'original' (as much as fanfic can be) plotline - that is, after all, why some disclaimers include things like "but so-and-so IS mine".

That said, I know how you feel. There are some stories - fanfic and published - that I look at with longing, going, "I could do SO MUCH better! I could FIX that!" But I can't, and it's frustrating.

All this applies doubly if the rest is spork-worthy. It's painful, but that's life. The only chance I think you'd have of getting to write that story is if the author gives up, stops writing, and you ask if you can use the idea. But that's not likely.

Sorry. :(

Meant to include this in the original post but forgot. In case you're wondering what A Different World (the fic in question) is like, here's a link:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4543231/1/A_Different_World

to get Permission, but I thought I'd submit a few samples of my writing now.

http://heliomance.deviantart.com/gallery/

*waves* You a Disc fan?

*offers a towel*

BTW, will your Agents be based in a Response Center or a TARDIS?

Welcome. I gift thee with lots of chocolate. Everyone should have chocolate in storage for emergencies.

I gift thee with an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but spambots and author wraiths, too! Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

Well, I decided to take the rite of passage. That is one strange story. I managed to get through it on the first attempt with no more than a raised eyebrow or two, though. I think my mental defences are pobably good enough to survive at PPC for a while.

Hi! Welcome!

Here's a link to the PPC Wiki, which has a lot of handy stuff and handy links on it. And some funny stuff on it. It's not quite as addicting or mindmelting as TV Tropes but we're trying to get there, even if we can't possibly get as big due to different targets.

I hope you read the Board Consitution through that link or the one up on top of the board. The FAQ for the Board is handy as well.

Keep the fact that you need to ask for permission before you PPC anything in mind (since that way there's some general quality control over things).

Anyhow, welcome to the board, and enjoy your time here.

July, who is happy she got to link the Wiki for once

The others have already said everything of importance, so I'll just wave, hand you some Shiny Things, and offer a potted cactus.

And I believe two of our number (SealRat, was it? And someone else) have already decided to spork it. Though it's a troll, we're just being careful.

Hope you enjoy your stay!

Also, the fic you want killed is a troll. Better luck next time, by which I mean ha! It's a troll! Troll-picker! But nah, I'm just messing with you. Hope you have fun here.

Lovely to have you here. *presents you with a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object*

By the way, "My Immortal" has been designated a troll by we PPCers, and as a general rule we don't tend to kill trolls, so you might want to turn your sights elsewhere for fic-slaying. Try the PPC Wiki Unclaimed Badfic page, there are plenty of targets there.

By the way, are you male or female? I just have a burning curiosity about these things. :)

Welcomes again, lovely to see more members of the Canon Protection Initiative.

Have some roasted Suenicorn and a Long-Handled Soy Chai Latte.
That one's a troll, though. Right? Please say it's a troll, please! I'M BEGGIN' YA, MAN!

That's just the sort of fic that gives me headaches to read.

As we write metafiction as well, any rules we implement concerning metafiction should be applicable to us as well, unless the Continuum Protection Initiative itself gives us special license (and even that smacks of sue-dom, as it would have to be us writing the CPI...)

It would be interesting to have a team of agents bump into a "film crew" filming a badfic for MST purposes...

2, on the other hand, is easy to answer. Smite it! That's not creative metafiction, that's using it as a convenient excuse to self-insert sues and 'stus. Smite it with fire, and if any of the smiting agents happen to be fans of technical nit-picking, they might want to mention that Star Wars-verse ships are much more realistic than HALO-verse ones, in that they're rather fragile without their shields, and thus, "taking a beating" involves having one's shields pounded on, and losing shields really puts one all of one shot away from firey death.

That was me. Also, is there a precedent for such an encounter? The closest thing I can think of is Discworld's Death...

Two sentences in and it had me screaming. Two. Sentences. Kill it with fire, or lava, or an erupting volcano, *please*.

Even if I've never really got Star Wars... poor Grievous indeed.

...GRIEVOUS??? Why? WHY? WHYYYYYY???? *smashes head on keyboard (yuh7jn8656y7tuhhyj)*

I'm not sure whether the utter incoherence of the first chapter or the pairing itself makes me dislike that fic more. Grievous is far too awesome a character for him to deserve anything like this.

She keeps referring to herself as wolfish. Is she a...werewolf? O_o Also, ew. Blatant 'Sue.

Very nice. The SO's comment at the end was great.

Unless of course, the opposite of leaving the Bracket Fungus and denouncing him as a spawn of Chaos in this Multiverse is getting closer to him and acknowledging him as a vessel of the Emperor's will in that Multiverse. Hmm... Food for tought?

The Dark is Rising for the win. I really need to read those again. I can't remember the rest of the verse. "Three from the ??? and three from the track"?

My fencer-and-history-buff brother would probably point out that there isn't much room for talking in a real fight, but of course the PPC runs on Narrative Law more than physics, so it's all good. {= )

On an unrelated note, how many PPC couples are you responsible for creating? Seems like a good many.

~Neshomeh, enjoying as always.

Ontic's saved! And good going, Mkellin!

Nice job with the fight at the end, there. Much fun to read.

Nice chapter. Now it's back to waiting for an update... Which reminds me: Are Origins and Lofty Skies going to be empty for much longer? I've been wanting to read about those parts of PPC history for some time.

Look here for all the known ones:
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Department_of_Fictional_Psychology

I see no reason at all why you couldn't add a new staff member, though I defer to Huinesoron - not because you're a PG, hS, but because you're more knowledgeable. ;p

Best wishes to all. *raises glass*

...love, the eternal procrastinator. >.> It's been 2009 for near eighteen hours for me.

http://sendables.jibjab.com/sendables/202809/2008_year_in_review#/teaser/202809
I lol'd.

Here's looking forward to a better year. And cool rocket ships. This is the future, dammit. We deserve cool rocket ships.

Happy new year to all.

Blades for all!

I hope everyone had fun. We had the power go out in the middle of the afternoon yesterday and it didn't come back on till after the start of the new year. Kind of sucks, but we did get a lot of sleep. Hope everyone else's started out better.

Belatedly, because I was having far too much fun getting hammered at singstar by a guy who was blind drunk to be on the internets, haha.

Is that right? I think it is. Or close.

Cheers, all. Here's to a brighter future.

Here's to a shiny '09!

*launches fireworks* Hope everyone here has a good '09!

First post of 2009 for Board time, perhaps?

We're three hours and twenty four minutes into 2009, and I still haven't spoken to Trojie yet. *pouts* So I was forced to sort of accidentally get drunk instead, whoops. But this means my wellwishings are audible and raucous, as opposed to muttered and grumpy, so happy new year!

It reached me an hour and a half ago. Just got back from the party.

With ten minutes to go, I wish you all a fabulous new year! Here's to 2009, and thank goodness 2008 is over and done with!

I did a whole New Year semi-sentimental post in my lj, though it's far from being 2009 here. I'll be last to have it, seeing that it's 3:40 right now as I type this. :]

We've still got five/six hours to go, here, but that's no excuse! Happy 2009!

Not technically New Year yet, seeing as it's...um...about 2:20 PM here. But hey. *throws confetti*

We're the first time zone. :D

It won't be 2009 here for another eight hours, but at some point there's going to be a party and I'll have to be social, so I'm saying it now. {= ) Enjoy the festivities, or the lack of them, or whatever.

~Neshomeh