Dec 2008 Archive, part b

and raise it with a Head Trip strip.

...as was the entire arc. (Just so you know, it's your fault that I'm now a reader of S*P.)

Weirdly, it made me *want* to start a webcomic ... sadly real comic artists don't get to fight hordes of rabid catgirls. Sad.

I'm totally gonna use it for OFUR inspiration. We wanna do something different from the usual "Sue invasion" plot because that's getting boring, but nothing says there can't be a section like this.

1) Start writing.

2) Keep writing. OFUs tend to be big stories, and it'snever fun to see one get cut off halfway.

... is ask Miss Cam. She's officially washed her hands of it all, as I'm sure various people will be along to tell you soon.

Generally these things are handled through discussions here on the Board, now.

hS

All you really need to do is start it. There used to be a rule where you had to ask Miss Cam for permission, so it's a good idea to send her an email mentioning it, but I think you just have to give her credit. Co-writers make it even more fun for me but that's a personal choice. Other than that, just go ahead and do it!


And sure it's just hypothetical. Sure.

The first step would be to ask permission. I'm not sure if Miss Cam is still the one to go to, but I'm quite sure there's someone who should at least be notified.

Hoop #2 would probably be getting a co-author, but that's not necessary, only really helpful.

Hoop #3 would be telling us what fandom this is for. ;p

I'm gaining a lot of free time soon, so I should be able to beta it before Christmas, if you like. I also know Stargate rather well, so crossover-y bits should be no trouble :)

Sorry, I forgot to mention something. I'm trying to get it out before either Christmas or January 4th (my birthday). It's not vital, but I thought it'd be a gift to my readers. If you can get it done before either of those dates, thanks. If not, I'll still accept the help gratefully (I need a second opinion) and thanks anyway.

That's a lot of Quizilla badfic. Gollum is very much not goblinlike, thank you very much. If I remember correctly, goblins are another type of Orc, and as we all know, Gollum was a corrupted proto-hobbit. And the 'middel earth madness' one was just annoying. Seriously, it looks like it was run through this http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files/aolertranslator.html before it was published. I wonder why Suethors find it so hard to learn basic grammar skills. Honestly. This stuff is taught in elementary, it's a wonder they weren't held back for years...

Why would you name a place Sanctimonia? WHY?! Such horror!

Has Quizilla become a new Suvian repository? All of them reek of Sueishness. They make my first Original Characters look like Penny Baker. *snerk*

And CYOA PPC missions sound awesome!

I wonder if the Quizilla format will have any adverse effect on the mission? Hmm.

How long did it take you to find all of these? o.O Wow. You're determined.

... Agents Trojie, Pads and Gypsy take Agent Cray to Medical at one point because she's lost a lot of blood and has started to speak psychically, if that's any use. Full details in the RP - I can send you the relevant bits if you want.

Well, woobie!Legolas from "Ethuil'waew", that NC-17 Elven mpreg rapefic that spawned the Division of Mpreg...I'd like to see him in there. Poor emo elf.

But okay! I'll comb through and look for minis, I guess. If you wanted us too kill it, that's more a job for Agents, I think.

That was a rhetorical question. Here's a gift for my fellow boys: http://destron.blogspot.com/2007/10/introduction.html

Have Fun!

It's been a while since I read those books, and I know I missed at least one later in the series, so this is not a fully-informed opinion.

My impression was that it takes three things to be a spellsinger - musical talent, a magical instrument, and what I'm going to call a magic-resonance; I seem to recall other, non-singing spellcasters. (To be a good spellsinger, of course, you need improvisational talent and/or a good supply of songs.)

So it seems to me that the agent in question would need to not only have musical talent, but also some magical ability, plus get ahold of one of the incredibly rare instruments that can handle magimusic.

As far as permanence, remember that in one of the books Jon-Tom's duar got broken, so he couldn't sing up anything until he got a replacement (and then a repair). Since it would be Severely Frowned Upon to take such a rare thing out of the source canon, and the Flowers aren't likely to supply Agents with magical instruments, it'd be pretty moot.

As far as Suvianity, let us again consider the source material. Due to being a fairly ordinary rock-interested college student, once he gets his duar he is able to get pretty close to the result he wants every time. Sure, it's never exactly right, and there are some side effects ("first mate, he got drunk", for instance), but it seems excessive to me.

-Kd7sov, who is by no means an authority person, and who rambles too much.

It may depend on the continuum. There's a precedent that you can't become a wizard just by entering the Harry Potter continuum, for example, though I think people have ignored this one. Generally, though, they have to use wands made by HFA or Makes-Things, which may come with a wizard disguise.

It sounds like this canon allows for extra-dimensional people to gain powers by showing up, though, so it could work in this case.

Also, I'm a music-lover and it sounds like fun. That said, you might want to wait for other people to weigh in before making a decision. ^_^;

~Neshomeh

Have a Prinny suit anyway. It increases stats, and adds '-dood' to the end of every sentence the wearer says. If the wearer is picked up and thrown, they explode. It's only really a problem in NIS continua though, where everyone can be carried, so...

Sorry I was late in this, but I've given my well wishes over MSN and stuff anyway. I just haven't really been able to get on the board. Hope you had a good one!

Here, have a stylish black bag of holding. You can put your other presents in it.

Woot, you're younger than me. Have a fruity pen.

have a 15 spork shooter gun.

*gives you sharp, pointy object of your choice*

~Zoe~

Though I'm sure she wouldn't eat you. Cannibalism tends to be frowned upon in most countries nowadays. >.> Have fun being fifteen!

Here, have a shiny! *tosses miscellaneous shiny at you*

Woo-hoo, another winter girl! Happy birthday, sweetheart! *toots obnoxious sounding horn*

For you I get a five-foot long fan. It's not very useful, but sure looks cool!

*showers you in chocolate*

*tosses Sara a graduated cylinder* Many happy returns! *throws bleepolate cake*

I might have thought it, but I'm sure I never said it...

Anyway. Happy birthday, dear! I present you with a sack of pebbles, your very own sling and a basket of Bleeprin-berries. Enjoy!

Anybody looks through my hard-drive and I'm screwed for my manga scan collection. I made a donation to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund recently. It's about all I can think of to do, really.

One thing this isn't for me is surprising. While America has its (quite large, mind you) share of good people, among which I can count the American Boarders (Thank whatever God may exist for that), there are also ignorant bigots (fools that they are) in the country; the government officials who are proposing a ban on gay marriage and the people who Didn't Do the Research regarding videogames and Real World violence (just so you know, surges in the popularity of violent videogames coincided with the drastic lowering of crime rates in the country, especially in the case of Grand Theft Auto) are just two examples. With these types of people in the country, not to mention the Just Plain Stupid people who obtained power *coughGeorgeBushagaincough*, something like this was practically bound to happen. Sad, but true. Just my two cents.

Now, it's 1 in the morning here as I post this... Just needed to get that in.

I mean really. They seized his entire manga collection -which I sincerely doubt was all hentai- when they were only charging him for part of it? Two adult men having sex in manga format is obscene and illegal (even though it was for private use)? Guys, I have enough stuff on my computer like that to get me arrested if that's the case. I mean, even if they thought the characters were children they only had to ask the guy to get an explanation (and God knows otaku love talking about their manga).

Anyone know what series he bought? It doesn't say in the articles, but you'd think they should at least say what titles.

...I would never involve myself in that kind of overreaching stupidity. *throws spork at authorities and runs away*

Are that if the manga were illigal, they should have not been alowed to cross customs. The man should have been notified about the situation and the rest would have been sorted form there. What is leagal in one country is not alway leagal in another (eg. marajawana and Belgium). But allowing the man to accually get the manga and bring it home, that is against his rights. There is no trade embargo between Japan and the United States.

And another thing, how would the man know that the manga was `obscene`? The ones at fault here are the authorities.

But that is just my 2 yen.

Leto

... a guy was convicted on child pornography charges for either drawing or possessing (can't remember which) Simpsons fanart.

Fanart, people.

I'll try and find the link when I get home.

-Trojie, worried for all slashers now.

My "ILLEGAL ILLEGAL" senses are going off.

This is probably really megaly against this guys' constitutional rights.

Looks like a lot of her stories could use sporking, just from skimming through them. Most of them have bad grammar and bad het. And the author doesn't seem to quite understand certain aspects of canon...*twitches*

Can I have kgarret?

Was just about to reply here with a reminder when I saw the "you don't need to" note. Ah well. Hope it all goes well.

Samuel and Kat, some sort of candid thing.
And I still need to come up with that ficlet for you. >.> I'm having issues, but I'm sure they'll work out.

I like Wicked.
Perhaps the author is simply very bad at writing fic, and so she does not make an attempt to write an interesting or funny fic, but takes refuge in really boring bull? I've seen stuff like this before. Pinned up outside a fourth-grade classroom.

Talk to me. I'm always up for joint-missions, 'cause, honestly, they lessen my work and they're more fun. And NO ONE touches that musical.

...I say that about all my fandoms, though. Alas. So yes, I'm up for Wicked-musical missions. Not up on book canon, but musical I can do easily.

How do you tell truly bad fic from troll fic? You mentioned the time of the posting--are there other ways to tell? (Aside from blatantly obvious ones like, "Aragorn stole the Ring and became the new Dark Lord and everything exploded HA HA HA")

Incidentally, I can give a hand on book!Wicked missions, though I don't know much about the musical. So if you have a book-Suefic waiting on the backburner, I might be able to help out.

Nameless Abhorsen is still up for adoption. I'd thought she might go into Bad Slash, but if you'd like to take her, it's entirely up to you. ^^ She'd be good anywhere, really.

I believe any and all particulars regarding her can be found via that mission, so... yeah. ^^ Enjoy your new bundle of necromantic joy, and don't let her too close to Agent Tirsaer.

...er, you *are* asking this since you want to adopt her, right? ^_^;

Zodfang, I have to confess, makes me laugh. So that's good. I note he's a bit redundant occasionally when he's talking ("Apparently dere aren’t exactly many of us ’ere, from wot I’s ’eard"), but that may or may not be a problem.

What might be a problem is that the story you want to PPC a) is very short and b) looks like a parody or troll. Still, technically those can fall to the Floaters, just like anything else can. It's your decision.

I'm going to call it permission granted, and then comment that I very much like the mentions of Mkellin. Hopefully soon you'll find out what happened to him...

hS

Seriously, you don't need to.

hS

Now you got me curious as to what exactly happened at the badfic reading. *headwall* Why does this always happen to me? *sigh* If it's not the type of thing that you would talk about, that's not a problem. It's strange that this is the type of stuff that makes me want bleeprin, as opposed to badfic... DX

If you open up your pages in the advanced editor and get to the raw HTML (I'm not familiar with freewebs, sorry), the title should be in there- there'll be a lt;head> tag at (or near) the top of the page, and between that and its accompanying </head>, there should be a line that looks like this: <title>Responce Centre 5593 |</title&gt. Fix it there, save the page, and that should solve the problem.

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Cybernetics

Should be helpful, at least. And off the top of my head, I think almost anything a natural arm could do is possible for a mechanical one, though it needs maintenance and could be disabled electrically.

*twitch* Ew. Mm... I don't know about the angel. I'd say "at your discretion," but you could always go do some angel research to see if there's a likely candidate whose skill sets match the unnamed one's usual habits.

I clicked it a few times, but FF.net keeps giving an error message.

And if anyone does take it... aren't Ichigo and co. under age? I know Ichigo is, but I'm not sure about Inoue.

Because srsly, much as I'd love to take this on, I really don't know the continuum at all.

Anyone who DOES feel like sending some agents to join Gypsy and Cray in Bad Het and take on missions like this? Please?

While I'm plugging, the Division of Mpreg could probably use some more agents as well :)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4718197/2/The_Dark_Knight

It's Ninja-Zombie-Pirate-Robot INSPACE! Now with subflavors of canon Sue and the Worf effect!

Mitth'raw'nuruodo a crinking TEACHER!? MODERN DAY ON EARTH instead of a long time ago in a galaxy far, far way? Sithspawn, this could go to the DoWTF!

I get that the Joker his this strange sort of allure. I mean, he's got lots of charisma, in a totally crazy, morally ambiguous way, but WHY do so many fans think he's attractive and say they are in love with him? I just really don't understand it.

Because I'm psychotic, I read the reviews to that fic. It looks like English, but the words make no sense. Why don't people ever listen to their reviews when they ask for the smegging things?

And I loved the Sue's death. You might call it Sue-icide. :P

Whatever happened to Diana? It occurred to me that if she is, to quote the fic, "a sex fiend," and advises 17-year-old girls to have more sex than Agent Luxury and Jack Harkness combined, perhaps she might be willing to keep Lux...satisfied, shall we say. Well, if Diana swings that way. Just a thought, that's all.

I knew you'd make a good mission out of this one. I'll be able to read more thoroughly when I'm back from school and practice, but it was a fun read from what I did see. Nice work.

Sorry about failing to reply for the beta...

No, I can't recall anyone mentioning any vampire myths in His Dark Materials. I think the closest thing would be the Spectres, since in some real-world mythologies vampires, or rather the regional equivalents, steal life-force/chi/souls instead of blood.

We've got one who likewise hasn't shown up yet as the mission is still being written. She's unnamed, but veeery smiley and blonde.

... we've referred to a Nurse, an uncanonical Nac Mac Feegle; Moira Mac Feegle, if she's any use to you :) She's acting as ultrasound technician for Paddlebrains.

As usual, a lovely job.

But hell, I liked it. Very entertaining to read– well, if you just kind of mentally distance yourself from the actual 'fic. Very good job, anyway. Have got to say that Trojie's Bag has always amused me to no end.

And the reporter of the fic says "Justice has been served".

Good job!

I love your missions. They are always so funny (yet somehow extremely disturbing; I try to forget that people actually /write/ these fics).

I know just what you mean, because I have that same bad habit. Harry Potter isn't one of my fandoms, but I'll try my best to give decent advise anyways.

What I'm really wondering here is what you mean by "sexual servitude"--do you mean consensual bondage, someone being pressured into sex, or flat out rape? If it's the last two, you must make it squicky and disturbing. I get the impression that people usually write these fics as a fantasy, so they try to make it all sexy. But in real life, something like this would be horrible and unhappy and really, really disgusting. Well, you probably know this already. But I thought I'd say this just in case.

It's also worth considering what age these guys are. I generally squick out at underage fics that aren't "first love/experiments/fumbling into adulthood" sort of things. But more than a few teenage guys have drugged their girlfriend's glass in real life, so it's not inconcievable.

And leave out the filthy details. For one, we really, really, really don't need to see all the filthy and disgusting actions implied in such a situation. Also, by taking out the descriptions of sex, you leave everything up to the audience's imagination, which just ups the horror of the situation. And remember, in this story, you should be stressing the horror aspects. Try focusing on the thought process of the predator and/or victim instead.

If you must have them keep the situation a secret, give them a good emotional reason. A lot of people just come up with a wimpy excuse and move on. Don't do that. Make them think it through before deciding. Remember, there's NOTHING WRONG with the authorities finding out about the predator in the end; watching the predator get punished gives the audience a cathartic release after reading all of the disturbing bits earlier. Alternatively, you might have the girl decide that she cannot tell anyone about this situation, and therefore must take care of the predator herself, which could lead to some sort of cat-and-mouse game...I'm really getting a little too much into this, aren't I?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Ginny and Hermione are strong, smart girls. They're both very capable witches, they're both strong-minded, and they definitely wouldn't just lie down and take it. They'd do something about the situation. Take out that struggle, and I think you'd be leaving out a major part of their character.

Okay, that's all I can think of at the moment. Hope this gives you some idea of what to do.

...One thing. You misspelled calendar.

It's pretty nifty, I like the idea and how you're going about it.

I just hope I can find internet access on my vacation.

~Neshomeh

Once it is all done, I am going to copy and paste them side by side so that I can make more sence of the plot (if there is even one).

Leto

Now, if only I could actually see the dates without looking for five minutes for the next one. *headdesk*

*gives music box*

That's inconvenient.

*gifts you with bleeprin* Tests, let me guess... finals?

~Zoe~

I gift you with a sack of pebbles, your own sling and a basket of Bleeprin-berries!

Have some sue meat cake, made by drake. don;t ask how it was made, please.

Here, have a confetti hand grenade. You never know.

It improves stats, and tacks '-dood' to the end of every sentence the wearer says. Oh, and the suits make the wearers explode in a resurrect-able manner when they are thrown.

Have some Conveient Cake - it tastes like whatever your favourite flavour is.

Yay, another December person! Have some Belgian chocolate and a stuffed otter! *throws confetti at*

Have something shiny and lots of cake (unless you don't like cake and then have something else instead...like pie!).

But could you two possibly exchange email addresses, to avoid this sort of post coming up a third time?

I saw "Toil and Trouble," but I've already got two (more) Shakespeare PPCs and a P+P one in the works for Agent Glass to get through. I can put it back on my list, if you want. Agent Glass (formerly) worked in the (now-defunct) English Classics Division of the DMS, so I've been writing up old mission reports. Only one finished so far, for a "Much Ado" fic. http://www.freewebs.com/ppc23/prequelmissionlog1.htm

I don't care if he's out of copyright, I'm still doing missions when they mess around with the Bard.

Seriously, people should not mess with ol' Macbeth. *protective of his favourites*

Also, I had no idea there was Shakespeare fanfiction. That worries me for some reason.

and LOTS of trouble.

No, that's not a claim - I don't have time for another mission - just an expression of astonishment. *gags*

I'm definitely in the camp of people who want to introduce her to a star. Or... hmm. Don't the Silmarils burn? Maybe you could introduce her to Varda, who could borrow Earendil's Silmaril for a moment. 'Cause, you know, Sue would be too dumb to let go of it and be burned. And it wouldn't be quick, either.

Which would be satisfying, no?

Drop her in the middle of the Kinslaying. I don't know off the top of my head if she'd look like one of the Sea Elves (or even if that's the right term for them), but there's still a good chance she'd be shot or burned or trampled or drowned or all of the above.

~Neshomeh, who can't think of much worse a fate for any elf-kin.

I skimmed through the fic, and it looks totally insipid. I'm thinking coat her in honey or something and leave her in the Midgewater Marshes.

~Neshomeh

…and leave her to Melkor in the War of the Jewels?

I think the real Elbereth might delight in paying her a visit. Wonder if Middle-earthian stars are also huge fiery balls of fire and gas...

That is NOT what a vibroblade is, stupid, stupid Mary-Sue thing! They are not curvy lightsabers, as EVERY EFFING SMUGGLER and HIS AUNTY run around with them! They are KNIVES that VIBRATE on a high frequency, making them cut better, hence the NAME. They also do not "cut through durasteel like butter" and they do not "fade" when not in use. And you are NOT the Force-possessed daughter of Qui-Gon Jinn, you horrible bint!

Get it killed! Space the little schutta.

One condition that I give all my newbies is that you send me the mission and I will give it a read over. It is just my final quality control. my e-mail is: letohaven @ hotmail . com (without the spaces) and if you get it to me over Christmas, I may get back to you really fast!

Leto