Jul 2008 Archive, part c

There's a PPC movie? How exactly are you going to accomplish this? What are you filming in?

borislaforde@hotmail.com

for any reason whatsoever, drop me a line. I can oblige. kyria dot thalia at gmail dot com.

I need to know exactly what I need to record for the movie. Is there a specific program needed to record for this project?

My email address is soeursdelunar@hotmail.com.

letohaven@hotmail.com

Sorry for not leaving it!

Leto

kd7sov at thewagers dot org

I'm not completely sure if/how I'd be able to voice - I know one of our computers has a microphone in the monitor, but I'm not sure how to use it, nor what software I'd need that I may or may not have.

My e-mail's kunenk at gmail dot com.

laurelcat (at) comcast (dot) net

I'm Techno.Dann(at)gmail.com

My email is artic.blade at hotmail dot com. I completely forgot about that.

And much, much nicer than the dresses that I saw at the festival in Schoten last week! Less neon pink and orange for one thing!

Those are absolutely gorgeous!

~Zoe~

Love the The River Silverlode and the White Tree. ^^

Those were quite amazing to see.

SO YES, THEY ARE PRETTY. *drool*

But they're pretty awesome. Love Shadowfax and Silverlode. ^_^

My favourite is The Silmarillion.

I especially like Celebrant, Silmarillion and The White Tree. Now I'm rather desperately envious of people who can actually sew.

Waaaaaant.

Maybe, if I'm really lucky, after I spent the next ten years embroidering silver and gold trees on my clothes, the stuff I do will a fraction as beautiful as that embroidery. That's gorgeous.

(Too bad I wouldn't fit into any of them. Dresses like that are made for dancers and supermodels. But I definitely like them!)

want!

"2 Kings, 1 Girl" has been deleted.

And Morbid Curiosity demanded that I read it, too...

Cross-posted to the wiki.

It will be Episode 25.

Ummmm.....i noticed in your 'fic you used elderberries as a poison, unless Sues are allergic to elderberrries then I think you may need to revise some basic horticulture- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sambucus- apart from that BRILLIANT 'fic, keep 'em coming ;)


ps. If Sues are alergic to elderberries then please ignore this post
mmmmmmmm.....elderberries

It's really up to you. Here's some possibilities:

1) On a recon mission to check out a new wizard / witch who MIGHT be a new Dark Lord / Lady (There have been several).

2) On a mission where the existance of magic is at stake. Because of Harry's blunder, he might need to use magic to save someone in front of Muggles, or a TV Crew.

3)Escorting someone to Azkaban. They fight back, and manage to get a wand from someone.

Any of those sound possible?

If it's not too late XD

Luana Starlight and Orange Plaid will be glad to help if it comes to a major crisis.

Is that the Sue is in ALL the talking animals, every spirit of Nature (Satyr, Dryad, Minor Gods, Naiads, etc). And since those are really all canon characters, we can't exactly destroy them.
The Sue does make reference to her essence as being a power inside of her, which means there is a way to quickly exorcise that number of beings, without a huge exorcising ceremony. It'll also be a way t get her out of the planet, if she merged her essence with it as well.

The answer is the Keyblade, from Kingdom Hearts. At one point, there was a Keyblade created that could unlock hearts, and unleash whatever was in there. Since they also double as weapons, we could unleash, and then slaughter.
Is there any way for the PPC to freeze a planet in time? Otherwise there's a very good chance some Talking Animals possessed by the Sue might make a run for it.

Janus has a nasty temper when it comes To sues who Defile and possess his favored works of lit. He's got a little brother Named Oryx who is pretty dammned good with a sniper rifle if you need long distance assassination after the charges.

This sounds worryingly like the Alumia mission Dafydd and Selene took on- which involved the Sue possessing the entire planet of Arda.

They summoned every single free Agent into the fic to help exorcise her. This situation might be a little different, but I'd suggest a similar operation.

It's the ultimate PWP. *snicker*

~Neshomeh

A belated welcome to you! Don't worry about anything. You'll figure it out and if you have any questions just ask anyone. People here are very nice.

*being completely contrary to first reply proclaiming about lack of biting*

You've been linked to the wiki several times already, so have teethmarks in your arm and traces of saliva instead. :D

And also have a link to our LJ community: http://community.livejournal.com/the_ppc

Have some lembas, read the wiki (which I'm sure someone has already linked you to) and reply to posts :)

Hello! I gift you with an egg whisk--It's shiny, gold-plated, and, hey, it whisks eggs! Use it for good and not evil.

I shall gift you with a pin to pin on any hats you might have. It can display whatever slogan you want. ^_^

What are your fandoms?

I seem to be giving away a lot of these today... They're very useful, though. Snitched right out of a plothole.

Welcome! It looks like everyone else has already given you the important links... except, I think, the wiki.

'ello, cga! What are your favorite fandoms? *gives you a sharp pointy object of your choice* Oh, by the way, please leave any sanity you might have at the door, you won't need it here.

~Zoe~

Salutations, hail and well met, and other such phrases.

*hands over a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object* Here ya go. Throw the pebbles at Sues (but not sisters) and marvel at the shininess of your Shiny Object.

Normally, what you do to introduce yourself is just post with your Board name, tell us how you got here and express your willingness to join. :) Everyone else will answer your questions if they can. Ansela appears to have given you most of the important links, so I'd suggest investigating them.

And, er, Bleepolate is solid chocolate. Unless you melted it. We have a list of Bleeproducts on the PPC WIki.

Hi, confuzledgremlinarmy here (cga for short), I'm new here. I found the ppc through Fynn- (yes I am the Annoying Younger Brother)and am now completely lost....help!?

Happy Late Birthday!

*snags chocolate*

*offers a bag of marshmellows* Make a chocolate fondue and dip 'em in. *grins*

Sorry it's a day late. *noms happily on chocolate*. I hope you had a lovely day.

Hmm, I wonder if I can make a Bleepolate Cake... I'll tyr later. Anyway, happy birthday! How many years yong so we know how many singing candles to put on the cake.

Mmmmmmm...yummeh!

Here.

*gifts you with a waffle iron*

Because you never know when you might want a waffle. XD

Happy Birthday!

yay chocolate :)....and er happy birthday

Happy birthday! *gives you...um...peppermint sticks!*

Unless you're allergic or something. In that case, edible paper cranes! ^_^

Its features are literally endless, because whenever you tuck something away, it flies into a plothole and shrinks, leaving no weight or mass to take up space. Note the flamethrower, and the Instant Shotgun Dispenser.

Enjoy!

I give you a squareness gun. They're very rare these days, now that the factory has been replaced by a banana grove.

Have fun being 18!

How old are you?

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday.*gifts you with a sharp pointy object of your choice*

~Zoe~

*gives a sling and an extra-large bag of pebbles*

Many happy returns!

*pulls out a few crates of Bleeproducts* Partyyyyyy!

Oh- er, how old are you, if you don't mind saying?

And made it look like an idiot. It's either the Author's own name, or they decided to take the word Terra (Another name for earth) and added an 'N'. I'm sure if we leave it long enough, the Animorph will be able to morph into plants, rocks or something like that.
Give me a sec, I'm sure I can pick him off with my sniper from here...

I've been away for a while, but now I'm ba-ack! I would like to volunteer Agent Christianne, one of my friend's creations. She has read Narnia, and she likes sharp, pointy objects. (Keep her in the background, though)

Cassie and Nat are both competent with swords, and are fair to middling archers.

Tyler, while a recruit from the LOTR continuum, is currently far better with electronics than weapons (as he had no experience with any in his home fic). I'd suggest making him just tag along with either a pair of Agents or a partnerless one so they can exorcise together. Just keep him away from Manx and Shadow, becasue he aggravated them when he was talking about MTFFAT once.

But Iza's a disaster. She's an excellent exorciser (rather over-enthusiastic - she tends to leave book-shaped bruises), and can poison monstrosities if pushed, but she's much too weak-stomached for blood - as you saw in my mission (thanks again for beta-ing).

Iza's probably useless for anything except herding Talking Beasts around. If you want, ignore her and give Agent Sedri a reprive from 'babysitting' her. She'll be glad to have the company of peers...

(... is that what you were asking? Or am I just rambling pointlessly?)

But Georgia wouldn't know how to use a sword or anything like that. She's more comfortable with a gun but she can manage a crossbow and Kumori can use a sword, I think.

... keep them away from the cute fluffy animals or you'll never be able to drag them away. Especially keep them away from Reepicheep (cute, fluffy AND potentially capable of violence! And so they adore him).

will supply their own weapons and anything else that is needed.

Risa has her own pointy object in the form of her zanpakuto, Dokuha. Ansela will use any weapon she can lay her hands on.

Although go easy on Pads; she's in the family way, after all.

She volunteered. She's Redd's partner.

Everyone likes pointy objects, so no problem.

Deryn and Leas'd be happy to help. They're both fine with pointy weapons, though Leas isn't terribly fond of them and Deryn, for her part, carries her own with her.

I'll volunteer Lirond and Liana. Lirond knows how to use a pair of daggers, and well; Liani's more of a 'range' person, seeing as giving her anything sharp usually means more of her own bloodshed than anyone else's.

Jenni doesn't generally use them, but she at least knows how to defend herself with a dagger, if something comes up.

Do NOT give pointies or even not-so-pointies to Nume. He will hurt either himself or someone around him, and chances are 50/50 as to whether that someone will be a friend or an enemy. He's used a syringe successfully, but that's about it.

Ilraen comes equipped with a pointy attached unless he is in morph and/or disguise, in which case I probably wouldn't give him one, either, as he has no experience with them yet.

... Yeah, my agents are pretty much nerfed.

~Neshomeh, who thinks badassery is fun sometimes, but largely overrated.

If you feel like borrowing Selene (who's currently partnerless and grumpy, and is of course a vampire prone to calling lightning down on people's heads when grumpy), feel free. And... oh, I suppose the Department of WTF -- Mortic and Elanor -- would probably get involved, it sounds like their sort of thing.

Selene, and the Alumia Posesses Arda incident

Elanor and Mortic

hS

Did anyone wanna Beta it before it goes online?

And I believe every one of my senses was offended, even my sixth. The Kingdom hearts one made no sense (You may as well read it, you can do that without knowing anything baout the series), while the Super Smash Bros Brawl one was... logic defying.
To quote:

'Ike accidently won and killed Marth but it was okay because he didn't die'.

...... I'll have what she's having, just keep me away from all writing implements.

Well. That was... educational. The summaries, particularly of the first, and sort of making me want to read, but for now I shall squash the Morbid Curiosity.

Trojie, does that last look a suitable candidate for our January mission?

because the window closed and I had to type the whole smegging thing out again!

In the Eragon fic, the lemon is two words and not very descriptive. Also, the Fable fic sounds like a bad PWP, but I've probably just been poisoned by my time on AFF.

I liked "congratulations on your teen pregnancy".

The baby cakes really freak me ou, though.

Gotta say, I do love the James Bond one. If I ever get married, I want that cake. :D

And- I suppose someone's got to say it. So. Is good cake design a lie? *grins and ducks*

Lol... funneh!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I love the terrorist one. Thanks, Laburnum!

I'm not a Permission Giver, but I'd just like to put out my opinion here. If anyone vehemently disagrees, they're more than welcome to beat me over the head with a Clue By Four.

I really don't think you should be given Permission.

For one, a lot of the stuff you've posted here for the last several months really isn't in the spirit of the PPC, and a lot of the time it's like you're trying to showboat how hardcore you are, that you can stand shock images and you go on /b/ and stuff.

Secondly, you don't even turn up very often. You post possibly half a dozen times a month. That's nowhere near enough for people to get to know you. The fact that your posts, when they show up, are normally just one liners that give us nothing doesn't help either. And when people call you out on things, you often ignore it for days and then when, if you reply at all, you pretty much brush off everything they say.

Another thing, the Agent you made, Janus, is pretty much a total Stu. I know you gave him more 'flaws', but honestly, he still is a Stu. Anyone reading the Agent page (stick link to page here for everyone's eyes) can see that. Even now, a bunch of edits later, your 'Agent' still is a sorry specimen for the PPC.

Also, finally, you tend to make a lot of people feel uncomfortable when you post, due to the content (shock images from /b/ and so forth) and you don't seem to post in any thread unless someone that seems especially prominent in the PPC, like Huinesoron, Trojanhorse, or pretty much any remaining oldbie, Permission Giver, or midbie that posts often enough posts there, which quite frankly, is disgusting sycophantic behavior. Everyone here is an equal, regardless of how long they've been here or how much they post. Stuff like that leaves poor impressions and a bad taste in everyone's mouth.

In short, just no.

the Permission Givers need a description of your Agent(s) and a link to a writing sample before they'll give you permission.

Is very, very win!

((Yes, I had to make the joke.))
I especially liked the culinary experiences. Japanese horseradish is a doozy...

Mary Sue invasion :O

Acutally, I'd love to see Ledger!Joker get his hands on a Sue. It might put the rest of them off.

How can they possibly...no, this is just wrong. A Sue in love with Ledger's Joker is just extreme - she'd better not make The Joker some kind of misunderstood woobie. I mean, just...the film is exactly the kind of environment a Sue would NOT thrive in!

Their logic is stupid. Their intelligence is stupid.

Dear GAWD. She loves LEDGER'S JOKER!? I mean, I love Ledger's Joker, but in a Wow-What-An-Awesome-Yet-Scary-As-Hell-Villain sort of way...but she actually thinks...Glaurung.

And that second one...friggin' TEXTBOOK.

I wouldn't be able to organise something like that, so well done.

Minor nitpick, though - I always thought it was "Blah blah blah!" she said, rather than "Blah blah blah!" She said, if that makes sense. Apart from that, though, I didn't spot any major mistakes. Keep it up! :D

I will admit to not having yet been sober enough to read through it properly, but I did peek to check the cameos, and they did make me grin. Someone kick me to remind me to read again when sober.

I do recall a couple of grammar moments that made my inner Nazi tense; if the same happens when I get around to the sober reading, I'll be volunteering beta services next time. However, it is entirely possible I imagined them, as I totally could not quote any, what with being not sober then and not sober now. *makes mental note to start checking the Board before hitting the bottle in future*

And a Pie-Eating contest!

Artic, you spoil me. *squees*

(Means "very good" in Italian, I think.)

I've been needing something to do ever since that hS character gave up on me, so I'm very grateful for the chance at an outing. Any time you need me to drop a storm on someone's head, look me up.

Unless it's an Agent. I get in trouble for that.

~SMLPXW

Congratulations on a job well done.

just one nitpick though.

Kobayashi is Risa's family name, not her given name. Ansela tends to ignore family names in conversation, unless there are two people with the same given name in the area. In which case she's just as likely to come up with a wholly inappropriate nickname as she is to use family names.

Nice work. I'm willing to beta for any more missions you write.

OA was ranting at me (I did volunteer to be ranted at, just so you know) for a loooooong time. However, we are discussing redeeming the five-year-old sister, who to be fair doesn't seem as bad. She's ben forced into a bit of Sueishness, but it's only to make the main Sue look better.

the souls of the shinigami. They are an extension of each shinigami that takes a different form and are meant to help bolster their power when they fight. They are also a way to measure the amount of spiritual power each shinigami has. That is as far as I know. If anyone would like to correct me, be my guest. If not, hope this helps.

...they're less like souls and more companion-like, right? Of course, so are daemons...
Rather similar, then. They could be confused with each other.

But if anyone decides to find out, let April know, because she'd love to help with the experiment.

I'm not sure, though it would probably involve the end of the world.

Greetings and salutations Cobweb- have a self-assembly enema kit (it's barrels of fun for adults and children alike)

What are your favorite fandoms?

Everyone's pretty much dumped everything on you already. I'm feeling kinda affectionate today, so *glomp* unless you're male. In that case, a hale and hearty handshake will suffice. xD Except that's for losers, so yeah! Hi! I gift you with a gigantic stack of Mentos, any flavor you want. If you don't like Mentos, they can transform into M&Ms, although they tend to taste a little weird.

*dances off, feeling hyper, having eaten Mentos before posting*

He is black with bright green ears, after finishing him I found the other sock he was once the twin of!

Hey and welcome to the ppc, (actually I'm new here and not even sure if I'm allowed to post welcomes) but in answer to your questions: Yes- make a post titled "to the permission givers" or something similar, no there are no requirements before you can be part of a story (providing you have permission) and yes this is the right place to post.

Adieux

confuzlegremlinarmy (cga for short)

You'll need them once you meet Luxury.

I gift thee with an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and, hey, it whisks eggs! Use it for good and not evil.

Welcome to the insanity!

I think this is the right place...(smiles)

Hello!

Eat lembas, post plenty, get to know us all. I'm sure you've already been linked to the wiki; search it for 'Permission' and that will explain all you need to know about getting it :) I'd link you but I fail at doing the nice in text linkage.

-Trojie, feeling perky

I see the others have already given you most data, so I will simply add that we encourage as much interaction as possible; don't be shy. Before I joined, I was rather shy of posting in other people's threads in case I was intruding. The PPC pretty much cured me of that ;p

Welcome to the board!

Have a Blumble flavored ice cube. ;)

Welcome! Here, have a sharp pointy object of your choice. Please leave any sanity you may have at the door.

~Zoe~

Only don't use it right after reading the Legendary Badfic; we don't want to actually see what's going on in those monstrosities.
Yeah, you're in the right place, as you can tell from the multitude of assurances. Just hang about a month, learn about the PPC, and you should be set.

This is most definitely the right place to post!

*hands over a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object*

Newbie-presents! Throw the pebbles at Sues and marvel at the shininess of the Shiny Object.

Now, requirements for PPCing.

Upon joining the Board (i.e. this place) you are generally asked to wait about a month, posting and letting everyone get to know you.

During that time, you should check out the Original Series, written by Jay and Acacia, and the PPC Wiki, both of which you will probably be given links to by someone. You should also check out the works of Huinesoron, the resident chronicler of PPC history and lots of other stuff.

After that month, you can post, asking for Permission to write your own missions from the Permission Givers, a list of whom is on the Wiki. In that post you should include the profiles for your Agent or Agents, and a link to some of your origninal writing so the PGs can get a feel for your style.

Hope that helps! And once again, lovely to see new faces!

Hiya, and welcome! I see you've already read some of the Legendary Badfics, nice way to dive in headfirst!
Of course, substitute the word 'Nice' from the word 'insane' and you'll catch my real meaning...

The Bleepolate should help easy the headache from those. You know of all our little inventions and slang, right?

Anywho, welcome again, and try not to slip on the marbles rolling around. They may be yours one day.

Welcome to the insanity! That is a major requirement, being insane. If you aren't right now, then you will be! HA HA HA!

*dragged away by partner to be restrained until slightly calmer*

"I shall desire you of more acquaintance, good Master [or Mistress] Cobweb; if I cut my finger, I shall make bold with you." -A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act III, Scene I

Welcome! I give you a coxcomb. It's a strange sort of hat. Don't act so scared; we're not scary people. Well, not very scary, anyway. Most of the time, we're quite nice.

Yet. >.>;;

Beyond the wiki links I see Ansela has already tossed at you, I offer another one of an FAQ.

And also wonder how you ended up here. *grins toothily*

Hello! Welcome to the PPC!

Generally, you spend a month or so on the Board, posting and letting us get to know you. Then you make a post requesting permission to write missions, along with a writing sample and agent bios. The Official Permission Givers (and their Hat) look over the writing sample and decide whether or not to give permission.

What fandoms are you in?

Hi there, come in, we don't bite unless July's feeling contrary again. Here, have a P-90 to fend her off with.

Just hang around and be yourself, check the Wiki for information and stay away from the Legendary Badfic. Even the summaries have been known to cause immense mental scarring.

If you have time, check out The Original Series (not to be confused with Star Trek), written by Jay and Acacia.

If you manage to keep your sanity stick around for a full month, you can ask for Permission.

My Agents are Agent Lily and Christianne, and they work in the Mary Sue Department. Christianne is a veteran, but Lily is a newbie. They go through one mission in the Harry Potter division, then get transferred to LotR.

Lily is the result of a cloning experiment on a Random Elleth. But that's odd, because the two have opposite personalities. Lily is considerably more insane and flake-y. And she worships chocolate, coffee, and the Canon. She can pull together enough of what's left of her sanity during missions, but she's Hell on wheels at HQ. Never give her a flamethrower. Or Sparkly Shiny Things(tm), because Sparkly Shiny Things bring out the Gollum-like behavior, which in turn is a prelude to more insanity. She likes giving people annoying nicknames, reading, MST-ing, and drawing. Her lust object is Frodo Baggins, and oddly, Dark Haired!Legolas.
Eye color: blue
Hair color: black
Species: Elf, Lord of the Rings type.
Canon Literacy Level (CLL): Harry Potter (ok) LotR (semi-Tolkien nerd)

Christianne Shieh was recruited from Real Life. She's a snarky b*tch with sadistic tendencies, and probably the only thing to get yourself on her good side is to give her nutty dark chocolate. Surprisingly enough, she and Lily get along considerably better than other Agents. She also harbors an intense dislike for dresses, Mary Sues, and especially Mary Suvian dresses.
Christianne, as mentioned before, is a veteran of 'Sue Slaying, having worked in the HP and Naruto divisions. She was moved from Naruto to HP because her partner died, and then assigned to Lily after her partner in the HP division also died. Then, she and Lily are transferred because of a MS fic overload (poor Middle-Earth!). While working in the Naruto section, Christianne learned how to use Japanese weapons. She often tries to demand a license from Upstairs to use them regardless of which division she is in, though the answer is always NO for a good reason. Never give HER a flamethrower, either.
Eye color: green
Hair color: black
Species: Homo sapiens (Human)

Writing Sample

(taken from "Andi Black", the first mission)
At one o’clock, Christianne appeared back in the dorm, soaked in blood but grinning, full of job satisfaction. Lily was sitting in her four-poster bed, playing around with a French baguette. Every so often, it would emit a “prrrrp” sound and would transform into something else.
“What’s that?” asked Christianne, her curiosity piqued by the baguette, which was now a rubber duck.
Lily’s eyes widened. “What, you’ve never heard of D.O.R.K.S?”
“Dorks?”
“No, no, no!” exclaimed Lily, waving the rubber ducky, now a science textbook, in the air, causing it to turn into a table lamp and then a Harry Potter plushie. “It’s D.O.R.K.S. It stands for ‘Disguise-Outfitting Ryticular Kostume System’. Oh…and it’s the apple of Makes-Things’ eye. We better be careful with it.”
“One itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny question. Why is ‘costume’ spelled ‘Kostume’?”
“Search me.” Lily pressed something on the plushie, now a Rubik’s Cube ™. She promptly turned into the splitting image of Adalora Black. “How do I look?” she asked Christianne, who backed into another bed.
“Scary.” That was all Christianne could say.

(taken from "What, Mary Sues Can Read?", one of my LotR fanfics on FF.net)
Well…Tolkien must be rolling around in his grave so much by now that if someone harnessed the raw energy he produced, then that person could provide enough energy for an entire neighborhood for almost a year. Talk about going green. For even as he laid in his coffin, rolling around restlessly, these four aberrations of original characters were drawing dangerously close to the hidden valley where the Last Homely House lay, its occupants unaware of their existence. Canon was going on smoothly as usual, and the characters had no worries regarding these four girls. They could hardly be blamed, since the One Ring was in Imladris at that moment, and the Council was already in progress. As Gandalf got up to share his tale, about ten leagues away the four ‘Sues were riding on their equally freakish horses, laughing and talking like friends do.

So...that's my little bit. If you need more of my writings to decide on whether you should give me Permission or not, tell me.

If so, you need to post saying so (in this thread is fine) and include descriptions of your Agent characters and a link to a sample of your writing so the PGs have a good idea of what your writing is like

-Trojie, NOT a Permission Giver, just feeling helpful.

Do you mean in terms of showing it and asking for Permission, or simply posting it on the web somewhere? If the latter, there's no single database to submit to. I use my livejournal, as do several others, and some people have their own websites.

If the former, look here and make sure you meet all the requirements, including being an active enough board member. Then make a new post (either in this thread or a new one, depending if people are still likely to see it).

If you already knew that, forgive me. Your name rings a bell, but I can't recall how long you've been around. So if none of this answers your question, could you rephrase it so we understand?

"Oh Tolkien, it is all thine
From Lorien's woods
to Moria's mine
You own the Elves,
the Dwarves, the sea
And, I'm afraid, own even me.

Oh copyright I honor thee,
So there's no point in sueing me
Amusement's all I'm aiming for
Respectfully, yours, Erestor"

from Elf On A Shelf.

Can't think of any at the moment ... though I myself once used "Brian Jacques owns these characters, and he would be spinning in his grave if not for the fact that at the time of writing he's not actually dead *touch wood*". Eh, I thought it was mildly amusing.

I'm going to do a bit of plugging here, because I think some of my disclaimers are a little on the creative side.

Disclaimer: I do not own Starr, Murtle (aka PrettyprettyprincessSweet16), Celeste, the faerie GwenethCamilleScarlettRuby, or the Lord of the Rings. Personally, I’m more disappointed about not owning the last item on the list.
(I cannot include a link because I don't know how)Tales of a Nightmare Come True by moi (Lily Winterwood)

I don't own anything. But my birthday's coming up, so if the Tolkien Estate feels like giving me the birthday present of a lifetime . . .
Just Call Me Mary Sue by Andy Longwood

Disclaimer: If I had originally created Lord of the Rings, I probably wouldn't abuse it like this. I mean, if I saw the look on Tolkien's face if he read this, well, I'd probably faint.
Confessions, by Princess of Ithilien

Otherwise, I'd volunteer. The idea is good, though.

I was hoping to review before the trollthor got in there. Something along the lines of 'Don't try and emulate Tara, this troll is awful'. Never mind.

I noticed the resembalance, too! Must...SPORK!!!!!!
(Curls up into ball and sobs)I'll join you, too...

It's a troll-- but it's not a nasty, evil, bloodsucking troll; I actually think she's pretty funny.

I mean-- it's not bad, for a parody!

Sweet merciful zombified Jesus... of all the things one could plagarise, why waste time on that?
I will never understand humans.
But here, I'll curl up and sob with you. Moral support and all that.

We need not worry. This is indeed a Troll, and all the answers are given in 'Chapter 20' of it... And it seems that our little Troller can use English, quite well, scarily enough.
Though I wouldn't recommend reading it if you have no tolerance to bda Engush and grammar that is not gooder than most.

I've been copying it into a word file for later torture and it's so much like what I've read of My Immortal that I've come to the conclusion that someone has plagiarised the plot. Couldn't they have done that to a good fic? Save us this torment? For proof, go to chapter four (the 'sex scene' at the end) and the beginning of chapter five. Looks like Immortal to me. *commits hari-kari*

"The dangers of almost copying the script..." Brilliant.

That was PAINFUL. Thanks for killing it.

My real name is Maia, after the mother of Hermes in Greek mythology. It's unusual enough that I used to hate it, but now I've gotten to the point where I like not having the same name as everyone else around. ...Though I get a like embarrassed about it when introducing myself to fellow LotR geeks.

He started something...green...like Earth Day or something. Either he started it or supported it, I can't remember. But his name's Gaylord Nelson.
We had an assembly back in seventh grade where they talked about him and all the boys were snickering.

I knew a boy who was named James James. There was also the boy named John Johnson.

I work with an asian guy called Jacky Chan. Apparently he went to school with a Bruce Lee!

A few others (all real!):

Alex Hole
two brothers: Peter and Andrew Nuss

Some exchange students at my school who picked strange English names:

First and Fiat
Benz and Bank (both sets of brothers)

Elcalion

My mom was telling me about this guy she knew named Morning.

And I used to call myself thus: Nyx Artemus Saga le Fay. Thankfully, I stopped. *is ashamed*

(Yes, Artemus. The babyname site said it was real. D:)

My history teacher was telling me about a girl he went to school with named "Moonbeam Meadows".

Sounds like a housing development...

The Dean of Students at my school is named Tom Riddel. No joke.

My grandma used to teach a boy named Guy. Unfortunately, when the poor lad's parents chose the name, they'd only ever seen it written down, and, seemingly, took a random guess at the pronunciation - Gooey. Presumably he liked the name, because no one ever called him Guy.

The mind would boggle had it not already been so deeply traumatised by the horrendously bad baby names site someone linked to earlier.

three girls called Storme, Sequoia and Tsunami. The latter two were sisters.

Perhaps not too unusual, considering some of the names out there. No one ever got their names mixed up with other people's.

... claimed to have worked with a not-terribly-smart-overall woman who became pregnant and told everyone in the office that she couldn't decide whether to name her child Wayne or Dwayne. Her surname was Swayne.

Mercifully she got married to a guy named Bedford or something, who also persuaded her to pick a less cringeworthy first name.

Hey, my Chinese name may mean "precious jewel" or if you don't write it correctly..."moon", but here in America, it's the very bane of me.
Pronounced the Western way, it sounds like a personal pronoun. Who wants the world to think they were named after a personal pronoun? GAHHHHHH! I adopted a more normal moniker when I started grade school, but nooooo, my parents registered me under the Terrible Chinese Name Of Doom. So now, I'm constantly correcting my teachers and subs. Why me? *sobs*
Oh and my Chinese name is Yue.

Which I'm not gonna tell anyone; suffice to say everyone thinks my parents are horrific Egyptology nerds. --;;;

I actually wanted to name my child Talianna at one point. That was when I actually wanted children. -- *issoashamed*

He's called Janix, after his father's childhood imaginary friend. If he was a girl, he'd have been called Zenria, after a dream his mother once had. Poor boy. The kids are school are all going to call him Jane.

But that was in a newspaper years ago, so names have probably moved on by now.

Have you seen Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing? It's like sporking, but for the monikers some parents force on their unfortunate offspring.

I was told there are four men registered as "Jesus Christ" in California...

Actually, in Real Life I have a fairly unusual name, in the sense that I constantly have to tell people how to spell it, but aside from a brief stint at the age of eight when I wanted to be "Catherine", I like my name; it doesn't qualify as truly "strange".

Being Random. Shutting Up.

If they're going after a particular version (such as the Disney movies) then they're fair game. Straight fairy tales have so many different versions that it's hard to judge what's canon and what's not, so I think we mostly avoid them.

Bad Slash and such involving canon fairy tale characters could probably be PPCed, if the violations are obvious.

"began my descend" ?
"challenge rating" ?
Kill it dead, please.

Is it any less confusing if you actually know the fandom?

Kill it with fire!

Fer the love of Yavanna Kementari...

A Destiny Revealed
Someone must have thought that the companyof Miss Cam was utterly delightful. They can't get their spacing right. Therefore, I am not reading it. And of course "Marcie" and "Meg" are SUCH elvish names. *eyeroll*

Legolas returns home.
Ha, so much for "She's not a Legolas Luster, so she's not a Mary Sue!" Is Golothgaladh really meant to be a name? ("something tree"...I can't get the first part from the Etymologies...what DOES it mean?)Same goes for Meraithil ("something moon" now, though I suspect it's wish moon)and Lithilien (I swear someone decided to just warp Ithilien for that one...an extra L). Once again, spacing problems occur later on. What an eyesore.

This Isn't Happening
And once again a sweet little teen sails up that river in Egypt as she lands in Rivendell. Elrond is attacked by terrible grammar as our heroine (*snort*) attacks orcs and thinks she's in France. What a way to go...
To the author: Nice penname! Legolas would certainly feel flattered. *eyeroll*

Laicalasse's Tale
WHAT IS IT WITH THESE SPACING PROBLEMS?!?!?
*dodges punctuation rain* Well, this author is trying (by using bits of knowledge that one would know of they really paid attention to the movies or read the books), but there's some 'Suvian properties that need tending to. First off...SHE'S HALF-HOBBIT? And why would Elrond hate hobbits? He's had five in his house. What happened to "kind as Summer"? And a few more Mini-Balrogs get their wings.
By the way: THERE ARE NO SERVANTS IN RIVENDELL!!!!!

But i don't want to leave middle earth
Microwave explosions clearly open up portals to fantasy lands in the middle of a serious war, right? Elrond of Naturally Nine would have these two girls' heads on a mithril platter...possible eleven walkers! And does anyone care to enlighten me as to what "karneambra" means? Because it clearly sounds like 'Suvian Elvish. (Selvish! *laugh*)

Check the list of "Claimed Badfic" on the wiki, though.

"Mr Elrond"? What, is she TRYING to be dragged back to OFUM? *sigh*

KILL.
One question- does anyone know what the Minis for HDM are? Because I glanced at the first chapter for two seconds and found one already.

...does the daemon talk a lot, to little point and purpose? (Pelloneus = Polonius? From Hamlet? No? My attempt to make the badfic funny...)

April and Lora would like to kill the Kira one. Well, actually, Lora could care less, but April really wants to kill it.