Jan 2011 Archive, part a

*Waves horn and blows noisemaker*

*wanders around sleepily*

Here's some earphones so you can sleep next New Year (through the 1 pm fireworks), everyone.

*snore*

Don't watch the Rose Bowl Parade in front of any Flowers!

*bursts into song*

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and blah de blah blah blah,
I'd rather have the PPC for the sake of old lang syne!

Wait, it's 2011 now, isn't it? I was promised jetpacks, dammit. Living in The Future(tm) sucks.

The Infernal Trio is throwing a BBQ.

Happy new year, everyone! May love, peace, and prosperity reign high in the coming year.

There is something I was wondering about. Did it ever give a reason in the badfic for all the focus on Snape?

I liked the bits with the lemon drops--that Mazuran didn't know they'd be so sour, and then him sticking them to Mrs. Norris. I always thought that cat was creepy, too.

That Sue was downright horrible. I'm glad you killed her. She was like an anti-teacher.

I don't have the Harry Potter canon at my fingertips, and I could still probably get closer to in-character than that Suethor.

I would high-five Mazarun for letting Hermione join in the fun, but I don't know if that's a drow thing ;) .

Was I the only one who felt a hate for the characters behind this one?

Man, that was a really annoying Sue. And there's another Suethor who didn't read the books well enough.

Hat of disguise - those things are awesome!

That was a particularly obnoxious Sue. I'm not sure I've seen one that actually did run the gamut of all the canon characters and prove herself 'superior' to every single one.

I suppose you could claim that her going through everyone's most deeply-held secrets and announcing them was similar to Lupin making everyone face a boggart, thus displaying their worst fears to the class, but that at least had educational purpose. This just comes across as bullying; there's no need at all for her to do it.

So overall, jolly well done. This one deserved what she got.

I need Bleep products now. I accidentally registered a few words while reporting that atrocity. I reported on all five stories, though one of them was different. It was the same phrase repeated nearly endlessly.

My brain is so damaged by that ... thing ... that all I will safely say is "what der heck?"

Reported.

Though given Elves soul-bond at marriage it'd be cruel to tell her she wasn't married to Thranduil without further intervention, in my opinion.

We know Thranduil had a wife. If this is her, she'll just wind up wherever Thranduil's wife is supposed to be, afterwards, once you get canon to snap back.

The cool thing about canon snapping back is that it can fix pesky little things like false genetics. Neuralyze her, tell her she's no relation to the royal family, and let canon take its course. QED. {= )

~Neshomeh, who's doing something similar in her current mission, hopefully to be released very soon.

neuralyse and let her assimilate into the canon. Thranduil's wife isn't mentioned in the books, which is why those who've read them tend to assume she's either dead or left for Valinor. As far as I know, neither is true; she just wasn't mentioned because she wasn't of any use to the plot.

The mission you read was actually one I co-wrote with Kgarrett; we decided to recruit the brothers of Legolas (and the eldest's wife and kids) because they were shoehorned in to facilitate Legolas's whiny bratty teenager-ness. Legolas was never mentioned as having brothers, and we decided it was seriously improbable for Thranduil to send his youngest son on a dangerous quest, and also for him to have children over a millennium apart in age. Also, the brothers' basic personalities were not very consistent with typical Elvish behaviour, particularly royals, so we recruited the lot rather than have unexplained extra kids of Thranduil running around.

If Thranduil's wife is basically inoffensive to canon, you can likely get away with neuralysing her; after all, Thranduil had to be married at some point, or there wouldn't be a Legolas.

I've never been to that site before, and I don't think that I will be going to it now, having read the Mod's opinion on that subject. I'm not Jewish and I find use of Nazi imagery racist and purposefully offensive. I am not even sure how it became okay to throw around terms like "grammar-nazi" all the time.

Could whoever's responsible for the Wiki block/report/whatever that user and change the "Board" page back?

That is a rather bratty attitude I saw from her. I'm not sure if your saying the mod was wrong for being offended, or for the response about 'If you don't like it, bye'. But I think that someone is entitled to being offended about someone thing like that, and the message they sent was hardly offensive at all.

I've never read Deleterius, though I might check it out. But I really do think the image is a little much.

Welcome and enjoy your stay! Here you have a surgical sewing kit. I hope it helps you when caddy gives you another knife.

Welcome, new friend! Have a lightsaber. Unfortunately, it was confiscated from a Sue, so it's a bit...pink.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and please enjoy your stay!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

I was sure I had replied to this last night, now watch, it'll end up being on someone else's thread, and they will be confused. Anyway, Welcome Buddy! Have an Adamantium knife, it is the same siza and shape as a caomabt knife, more durable, and is excellent for killing sues and stus, and skinning CAF's.

Have a pet cat, a blue mat and a funny hat.

Have this X-02 from Ace Combat 5. I played the game so many times that I've got plenty of them.

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this plush Deathclaw as a welcoming present.

Welcome to the Board, and the PPC! Have a Dramatic Coat, which will swirl dramatically when you need it too.

Have a hat knit from the slaughtered pelts of only the snuggliest and warm Cute Animal Friends! Sure to keep you warm in the coldest, most inhuman badfic!

Have a sparkly frisbee.

Welcome to the PPC! It's awesome to have friendly new people here. Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. They're useful for distracting people (and Sues) and throwing at people (and Sues).

I approve of your fandoms, though video games and anime are not things I know much about.

I recommend that you check out the PPC Wiki, if you haven't poked around on there already, for the suggested writings. The Original Series, by Jay and Acacia, is pretty much mamdatory, as is the page on requesting Permission, but other than that have fun exploring.

Quite enjoyable. Looking forward to seeing more missions :)

Did you have al these written or are you writing them at the same time?

So that explains the drow's haughtiness...

This one was a complete mindscrew. My head hurts.

Have a daiklave, a 'no tea', and a small red ball! Welcome, and stay a while!

BTW, will your agents be based in a TARDIS or a Response Center?

Here you have a tube of canon character's blood. I think it may kill Sues/Stus, but I'm not sure. I'll try to convince the DMSER to start tests. Meanwhile don't use it.

Hello and Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Have an Adamantium knife! It is about the same size and weight as a combat knife, and it is much more durable. It works well for executing Sue/Stu's, and for skinning CAF's. It also makes cuttig birthday cake a breeze!

Have a folding car. It becomes a rather heavy case when not in use. Careful, it has a nasty habit of unfolding itself at the wrong time.

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

And eeee, barely anyone here as far as I know, other than Rilwen, is a David Eddings fan. Awesome to meet you! Have you read his Elenium/Tamuli series?

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Welcome, new friend! Have a ninety-nine sided die! It's good for picking out lottery numbers. Just don't try rolling it on any tables, though...it's rather big.

So if you loath Colin, who's your favourite Doctor?
Anyway, have a pet cat, a purple hat and a spotted cravat.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.
*MAUDLIN'S FANGIRL SIDE EMERGES*
SQUEEEEEEEEEEE NEWBIE NEWBIE NEWBIE *glomps* *noms* SQUEEE SO HAPPY YAY YAY YAY WE WILL BE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS I KNOW SQUEEEEEE

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this basket of delicious pastries as a welcoming present.

Even if Earwig's a bit... Yeah. I can just say 'kender' and leave it at that. But with Derik along to keep things saner it's okay.

I do feel rather bad for Derik; a hyperactive partner slower to think than to act combined with missions that grind on his old traumas... not fun.

I think my favorite part may have been when Derik was forced to laugh at the line of the fic that combined the hatchling's name with very unfortunate sentence structure.

I like how the agents keep having to put out the fires the Sue causes. That could have been really bad with her not mentioning them ever having been put out.

I kind of forget about Derik being a clone of Erik, so the intro about his bad mood with the opera listening and the pointy chandelier muttering was a nice reminder.

I haven't gotten to see the movie yet, but I really want to, even more now.

"Are you getting enough ketchup in your diet?" :D

I really liked Earwig's antics. I loved the part where he was singing the pirate song and the Generic Vikings wanted to learn it.

I thought you were going to bring all those characters back. I hadn't thought of being able to send them all back into canon like that, but that would have been a huge group to absorb.

Anyway, nice mission.

Because this is the second draconic Suvian by that name that the PPC has slain.

I wonder, was this Suethor enchanted by The Girl who Loved Wild Horses as a child? Because at the end the girl turns into a horse and in this fic the Sue turns into a ...ing Night Fury. Of course TGwLWH wasn't total drek the way this fic was.

Excellent mission. Derik seems to be adapting well to the fact that Our Dragons Are Different.

The grammar in those sentences...as as as as as...I don't think I could have read through an entire story structured that way.

I love how you had Earwig befriend Luga/Gall early on, then had her help with the wrap-up later. Gall seems like a much more interesting character than Kana anyway (no doubt thanks to your writing, rather than the Suethor's), and I'm glad she's a member of the PPC now.

You have some fantastic dialogue in this piece, especially when it comes to the inter-partner banter. One thing I really like is how you're able to distinguish Derik and Earwig merely from the words they say and the structure of their sentences. That's very cool.

HOWEVER (spoilers begin here):

I had some major issues with Earwig becoming afflicted with SILAS due to being exposed to Urple. It breaks the flow of the story to such an extent that I almost stopped reading. Plus, after that first occurence, it's barely mentioned again. It just seems like randomness for the sake of an easy joke!

Also, Earwig's antics got a little tiresome for me towards the end of the story. Once he started to sing 'A Pirate's Life For Me,' I actually facepalmed.

I don't mean to sound so down on the mission. I did like it, but it wasn't without its problems.

This was great, I have onlt heard stuff about kenders from Mr Welsh's List, so I'm not sure about them, but I like Earwig, hes great! Derik is also neat to read, and I find the huge contrast between them makes it easier to tell who is speaking.

My favorite parts would have to be :

"No."

"Awww. Not even a little?"

"No."

and

"Yes, Earwig, it is a good thing you picked it up."- you can just taste the sarcasm and/or annoyance under the calm facade.

Also when Earwig and Derik have the shared look, funniest thing I've read all day!

"We are? Oh, how wonderful! I've never been on a Viking raid before! I can't wait! Do you think we can torch the houses and pillage and—" LOL! the image of a miniature person doing those things is hilarious!

"Look! A distraction!" Excellent use of diversionary tactics!

A great mission!

I loved that movie. I must rewatch it soon.

Anyway, wow, that fic was stupid.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Now a Disclaimer: You do not have to read these things (except the Board Constitution). You do not have to write to be a part of the PPC. Some active and respected PPCer's have never been to the wiki, and quite a few very active and respected PPCer's have not and never plan to write missions. That said, many people have found these things to be useful and/or to answer a lot of the questions that often come up.

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original Series PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

If it's Sherlock the BBC series, I may be able to help. Otherwise...I don't know.
Anyway, have a pet cat, a mad bat and a rather absorbent mat.

I think someone here is in Sherlock Holmes' fandom, but I don't know if they're currently working or if it's the same Sherlock Holmes. But don't worry, because agents never seem to be enough to destroy all badfics creeping around.
By the way, here you have a cob pipe and a bobblehead hound. I hope you like them.

Hi Meta! Have some fudge!

Hey there, welcome to the Board! Please have some chocolate, and please enjoy your stay!

*hugs for Meta* We don't bite! Welcome to the PC, may you have fun here!

*hands over a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object* May these serve you well!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Great to see you here!

Welcome! Don't be afraid! We don't bite....well, unless your a badfic writer. But, you don't sound like one, so come on in! Please deposit your sanity here *points to bin labeled 'Warg Fodder'* You shant need it here.

Also, have an adamantium knife, it is good for cutting up sues and CAFs, as well as protecting your sanity, like gouging out your eyes if it comes to that.

Now that that is out of the way,if you don't want to write Badslash, you can hope to find some Sues in Sherlock, and if not, maybe another fandom might be a good choice.

Welcome, new friend! Help yourself to a venomous arthropod. Don't worry, they don't bite!

I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with Sherlock, and with BBCode. Hopefully, someone with greater know-how than me will be along soon to answer your questions.

Allow me to be the first to greet you :)

I'm not into Sherlock, I'm afraid - only ever seen one episode. More of a LotR girl. Congratulations on it having lots of good fic, though! Maybe you could go for Soul Eater, or have your agents be freelancers and just give them occasional Sherlock missions when they come up.

I don't think BBCode works, but HTML does.

I know I haven't been around much lately, but as someone who knows the series in questions very well, allow me to explain.

The Touhou games have an all-female cast. There are two males: one of which is a turtle used for flying and has not been seen in a decade, the other is a cloud. There is one more male in the side works in a book, and he is a shopkeeper. None of these male are powerful; in fact, the shopkeeper is noted several times as being very, very weak.

The Touhou fanbase is a little absurd. The shipping and such can go between any two characters for very little reason even if the characters have never met. However, in canon, there are NO relationships between ANY characters whatsoever. In fact, most of the ship are between character who have never met, or want each other dead. It is not a 'lesbian-safe' zone at all. However, most of the girls are either teenagers, or Youkai that are hundreds or years old and look about like teenagers.

But now we come to the OC. You see, most characters in Touhou are strong enough that they kill and eat humans, like Rumia and Mystia. The humans in Touhou are strong enough to hunt and kill Youkai for this, like Reimu and Sanae. If the OC WORKS for his power, and isn't beating any of the big name people right off the bat, it's understandable, being as in Touhou they fight using 'Spellcard Rules' which basically is a way that no one dies in these disputes, and no matter the power level, there's a slightly more leveled field.

Long story short, none of the characters have any set orientations in the games, the OC is ok as long as he's not blasting Reimu or Marisa or Yukari right off the bat, and it is NOT a 'lesbiant safe space' at all.

They weren't being nice, but you aren't required to be nice when telling someone they're wrong.

Sounds ugly. They're not going to back down; you're not going to either (at least I hope you won't), so I would just try to get past it and move on to something else. Some battles you just won't win. . .

If it helps, I do not think you are in the wrong here. Strong females are more like Athena and less like Amazons, if you get my loosely made analogy.

On the Fanmix community, someone just posted a mix about angels. I didn't see the poster's gender, but they said they'd always been fascinated by angels and "always hated seeing them portrayed as females". That I do find offensive. For one thing, aren't angels supposed to be sexless in most official depictions, and for another, why would it matter if they were portrayed as one or the other?

I agree, feminism =/= no men involved. And just 'cos there's a lot of femslash in the fandom doesn't mean everything has to be femslash.

Starting from the point that they accuse someone of being misogynist just for adding a male OC (it's not a matter if it's a Stu or not for this) to the point of "lesbian safe place" (I can't still catch the meaning of that, was ffcrant done just to have femslash?)
Anyway, from what I've read on the flamewar, it seems to me that people were discussing different points: adding a male character, trying to have no critics, and then I lost track. But I think dicussing it on the web is a bit useless, and as on the web you don't have to show your face, many people is ruder than in their normal lives.
Hope I hadn't taken out another point to discuss about :D

I like feminism... but yeah, I thought the point of it was for men and women to be equal.

I really wish people weren't so sensitive about sexuality-related issues that they feel they have to fly off the handle at things like these. I don't particularly feel like joining in this argument on lj (I'm not 18 so I can't yet anyway, and discussions with people like this give me a massive headache), but ever since 9th grade Ethnic Studies class, I've been hearing these horrifically skewed versions of feminist ideas, and I'm getting sick of it.

I believe you're in the right, if only because I agree with you that the presence of male characters does not at all detract from the quality or competence of the female characters, and I strongly disagree with the points someone said about how "most of the time when an oppressed group says that a privileged person is ...ing up, the oppressed group is correct", and "men have no place in a woman-dominated space." Clearly this person has never met a male cheerleader.

I'm a woman and I'm comfortable enough with that fact that I don't feel threatened when I work alongside men. The notion that others do, in this day and age, whether or not males are often privileged, is simply sad. I'm against this whole "men are pigs" notion that a lot of feminists nowadays entertain, and I'm annoyed that something as silly as putting a male OC in a fandom full of women would have the same effect on these commenters as throwing a bucket of ice water on a cat. These people are insisting that putting a female in a male-dominated place is alright while putting a male in a female-dominated place is demeaning and disrespectful, and in doing so they support the double standards that cause the very sexism that they all have a problem with.

... but A) I don't want to flounce and B) I want to keep using it.

Users refuse to accept attempt at apology for causing offence. I have no idea what they expect, maybe they want me to magically read their brainwaves for the exact phrasing of the apology they want.

These are not the same things. They don't even have anything to do with one another. I know everybody here knows this. But it really, REALLY made me facepalm when I heard this came from a PARINGS discussion.

NO. NO. NO.

Sure. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. But how many fish do you know even care if a bicycle is in their water or not? The idea is that sure, you don't NEED men to be yourself. But Feminism and lesbianism have nothing to do with each other. If anything, These posters caring that there WAS a guy is more neurotic and against feminist principles than just being cool with it.

It makes me think they are insecure about this character. And insecurity is fear. And people really only fear things that have power over them. You know. Doubt and uncertainty about life, like bills... employment... whether or not a tiger is going to leap out and eat them. That stuff has power over the direction of a person's life. It's powerful and people fear it because not fearing it usually gets you dead.

And these so-called feminists flip out at a /man/ of all things?

By freaking out that there is a man in their little haven, they are displaying the amount of power a male has over them. They are defeating their own argument.

A het relationship is not always an oppressive androcentric dynamic. Lesbian relationships can get abusive and oppressive just as much as het ones. If neither character oppresses the other in the pairing... why the FEMINIST outcry?

What /small/ words.

Having read the thread and your post, at first glance this sounds like someone who isn't particularly self-secure with their sexuality and feels the need to lash out, honestly.

That said, all perceptions of the poster aside, I definitely do not agree that feminisim requires no men to be around. That's just... well, you already covered it, really. I agree with you. So now, I don't think you're at all in the wrong.

I think the briefest argument to support you is to do a genderflip: There are lots of fandoms mostly or entirely populated by men in which female characters are welcomed, even asked for, in a romantic sense. They aren't considered inherently evil, so why should it be so the other way around? I completely do not understand why it is that there can be a whole movement for feminisim without respecting that the other side needs to be supported too, or at least not buried under all the propoganda, because the moment "feminism" becomes synonymous with "women in charge and men subsurvient", they're undercutting their own ideals - the ideals which started cries for women's equality in the first place.

...And, now seeing the thread, I see you've already covered that. In detail. With graphs and illustrations, so to speak. And she still doesn't get it. Huh. Honestly, Laburnum, I'd say your best bet is to back out of the conversation and let her be an idiot in her own circles, because she's not going to listen. Anyone reading that thread can see perfectly well that you're being calm and rational while she's throwing a tantrum. You're in the right, even if you can't win the argument.

I've never understood the mentality that having competant men present immediately stops a story from being feminist. To be honest, that attitude strikes me as anti-feminist. Sort of "Women can only be badass when there are no men, and if men are there then the women should return to the kitchen where they belong".
The idea that to show a strong woman as having a romantic side makes her no longer strong is also rather obnoxious. If I'm reading your post correctly, that's all the OP had done in his/her fic: have a love story involving a male OC and a female canon character. Having a woman fall in love doesn't immediately take away everything that makes her, well, her.
(To be honest, it seems to me that you can't breathe on fanficrants without someone throwing a hissyfit)

I should probably read the thread in question before responding, but it's not like this sort of thing is uncommon, so:

No, you're not wrong. I don't doubt that the situation is exactly what you say it is, and that people are overreacting. I agree with you 100% that gender equality is the goal of true feminism, not female superiority to the point of erasing men from existence. That's just stupid. These people sound like misandrists to me.

And this is more or less tangential (i.e., don't quote me), but seriously, suppose someone made a similar argument about a "hetero safe space" in some other canon? Good lord, can you imagine the outcry? >.>

~Neshomeh, who also believes in treating everyone equally.

Commenter clearly is only familiar with straw feminism, and needs to do some actual research before they try and make rants.

Just out of curiosity, which game is it?

As you said, had this canon been geared towards a pro-feminist agenda, then having a male OC successfully flirt with one of the canonical females would have been problematic. The way you've described both the universe and the story, however, makes your argument acceptable.

One last question from me: was this about Touhou?

Hi! Have some chocolate! I hope you stay longer this time... :D

Rookie Boarder Sergio Turbo reporting for duty, sir!

Ahem, don't mind me. I'm playing Ace Combat too much in those days...

And I'm not anymore a rookie, neither.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

I probably joined not long after you left, but so what? :) Cheers!

Don't feed it Sueish honey.

Hi WhitChick! Care for some fudge?

Good to have an oldbie back among us! I don't believe we've met, since I've been on this message board barely two years.

Have a mechanical weasel and a bouquet of daisies.

Planning to stay awhile, or just stopping by? Either way, it's great to see a returning oldbie. {= D

Here, have some Canon Cookies, special chocolate chip variety!

~Neshomeh

I still can't believe how you guys can do something to stop things like this troll fic. I hope I will do that, some day. Good job!

This mission was the kind of giggle-fest that we all should strive for. Well done! I especially like that the agents had fun with it, too. It's a nice change from suffering, even humorous suffering. {= )

~Neshomeh

Yet another mission that begins with somebody throwing up!

Wasn't a good omen in mine. Wasn't a good omen in yours.

Good job with that badfic. I just don't even know when it comes to HPbadfic, man. DX

I find myself feeling more and more that somewhere a society exists solely to create bad fics for the PPC to make missions out of. Its the only explanation for this kind of thing.

Is there a full list of all the Mini-Acromantulas created by this thing? I can't believe all the misspellings. I mean, this is a troll, right? Please say yes. Even if it's not true. I want to believe it's a trollfic.

+++ !!!!! +++

Awesome!

BTW, wanna co-write an interlude where Molly and Kieran meet in the Nursery again, and then their parental figures show up? I think it could be fun.

Nice mission. I laughed a lot. Which is good.

How did you get through that? That is a hideous, hideous fic.

On the other hand, the mission itself gave me chest pains from laughing too hard.

Bleeproducts for you both. (Er, Deuce does know that Bleepstuffs are non-alcoholic by nature, right? Bleep and alcohol put together go boom.)

ROFL!

That is awesome on every level it is possible to be awesome. Also, I want bacon now.

That is awesome! Thanks for sharing. ^_^

I want one too!!

I'm assuming it's not a particularly ofu sort of fandom-ish comic strip? Either way, that sketch of the mini is just adorable.

I love it. Particularly Zeetha. (Zeethiggs FTW. Who's with me?)
And *squee* Gilgatha!
Although I was completely unaware anyone made Girl Genius fanfics, much less ones with Sues. *is now slightly worried*

I think that it's sweet. Little, whatever-her-name-is, looks to be extremely cute. I always prefer the Tenchi Solution though. . .

I've always thought of Gil/Agatha as a canonical ship, and the community honestly doesn't seem likely to house a lot of badficcers. I don't think it'll do anything unusual-- they do those pages from time to time-- Santa Klaus, for example. People generally run with it.

I read. I'm a little miffed because there was a rather important fight going on. Stupid baby interrupting the storyline...

I'm so, so sorry that this erupted with flaming lava over your head...

All I can say to you is this: You will feel the need to apologize to these anonymous legions of shocked, critical, and horrified people.

Think carefully about what you said, and what you meant.
And if they're the same, don't back down.

At all.

Period.

However, as this is probably a case of mis-wording, it's ...
well, not exactly too late, but- well, er... see, the thing is, they're going to keep quoting your original post, so that doesn't help. If you could post a general clarification without sounding completely meek and cowed, that would be good. "Meek and cowed" is a tempting option, but in the long run, you'll just feel worse. Believe me.

*enter ranting-zone*

""I respect constructive criticism and clearly from the wiki faq the PPC is about authors that don't. I get that. And I appreciate the wiki link so I could see that.""

Who says we don't respect constructive criticism? Excuse me? Thank you! Just because we don't change our minds when someone tells us they think we're wrong! You think, I think, but minority majority and feedback doesn't mean I'll change my mind! THANK YOU!!!! (draws back from the multiple exclamation points to which she had ventured...)

Bleepka. Bleepka. I need Bleepka.

Real *fun,* isn't it, standing out and saying something everyone thinks you're backwards thinking for saying, eh? Here's to us miserable people with morals! *Huge swig of Bleepka*

The television series Sherlock(2010), is relatively new, and so far only three episodes have been aired in Great Britain. The series have yet to come to Denmark, however my sister got it for Christmas so we’ve already seen them. But by the Force I already love the show. Completely new thinking both in plot and characters. Because it is so new, you probably won’t find so many fanfictions about it. Another thing would be, that this series so far, only have been shown on BBC, where as the most popular and worst fanfics, comes from movies like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and other well known works. It is simply too isolated and new at this time, to have generated proper badfics. Meaning, it is so small, that people, who write badfics just to create a provocative fanfic, and get response, have so far overlooked it/haven’t discovered it so far. Thank the force for the sheer volume of the internet.

Another thing would be that Sherlock Holmes, though also quit simple, has such a complicated personality. Holmes is an arrogant, sociopath with an uncanny ability to see the smallest of details, and from that deduct the most relevant of information. This, is something the fanfic author has to be aware of, before he make a good fanfic. Where as, writing a Harry Potter fanfic might be easier, Sherlock Holmes is a genre where only the author, who understands the personality of Sherlocks, and is able to create the most detailed scene, with small overlooked clues, can create a great fanfic.
This means that, it might discourage people from trying to write a fanfi...il they’ve researched both characters, and have developed a proper plot. I get the impression that many of the people on that forum, takes their work so seriously, that when written they tend to either rewrite it or change it constantly.

The need for proper villains in Sherlock Holmes fanfics, almost screams out, for either unusual situations, or for a near Mary Sue or Gary Stue villain. The villain has to be near perfect, yet so flawed, that only Sherlock will be able to find him. This means, that this genre, is one of the only ones, where a Mary Stue or Gary Stue villain is (to some degree) tolerable, but not necessary. Meaning, not all Sherlock Holmes stories with Mary Stues og Gary Stues, needs to be purged.

As for their response to PPC, I think they’re a bit ignorant. PPC authors can be looked upon as a sort of reviewers, yet a more lively and serious version. This means, PPC authors don’t necessary mock people on their work (unless it is an intentional slashfic, which means the community itself would disgusted at the work) but rather try and encourage people for better writing and point out overlooked flaws, or mistakes. However, this still depends on the story, and how the PPC author decides to tackle it.

I agree with the others, that your first post has been a bit too, both negative and provocative at some points. PPC is an agency, people should find, not the PPC finding them. Those who are dedicated enough will find it, those who don’t care won’t.

My opinion, just if you’re curious, but don’t take me too serious :p

I think they're reacting fairly rationally to someone who just jumped in with such an announcement, if strongly.

People do not take their work being made fun of easily. Especially when they work hard on it or if it's for someone else.

Even more so when it's a fandom that generally prides itself on quality- like that one- and they have generally worked past the point where writing is a 'lolhobby' and instead something they pride themselves on and work towards quality.

Hopefully it won't spread any further than that thread, and it won't be a big deal, but it wasn't a good idea. This sort of reaction is why we don't go around parading the group to the general public. (Especially after the incident that sparked this and this.) Most people aren't as big into the rules of writing as we are. They don't get it, and they're not going to, because they don't share our passions. There's nothing wrong with that, it just means that we don't expect heaps of praise from people who aren't us. You'll want to get used to that before going any further.

Phobos made some excellent points, and I believe Miah recently provided you with the Links on your intro post. You should read them. Perhaps we should start giving them out more frequently again.

~Neshomeh

Using the word 'invaded' might not have been the best idea, but perhaps a link to the FAQ:For other people on the wiki would help? That seems to me to have a pretty good explanation of what we are (and are not): http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/FAQ:For_Other_People
Also http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Mission_Writing_Guide#What_Kind_Of_Things_Can_I_PPC.3F - that might assuage some fears. It does address the issue of kinkmeme and request fics, which seems to be something that a lot of people are upset about.

1) You have been here all of a day. Cool your jets, take it slow. You still have a month before you can even get permission to write a spin-off. Use that time to brush up on the things on the wiki. Especially this guide and this faq.

2) Your wording in that post was tailor made to set off a negative reaction. We don't invade. Invading is generally a bad thing. It implies that we are going in to take something that isn't ours.

3) This one is a minor thing... we don't set up our own agencies. The PPC is the agency, our agents work there and get assigned to one or more fandoms. Like I said, a small thing.

4)Some of us like that the world of the internet hasn't heard of us. It is quieter that way... as you have seen.

5)The internet is about anonymity. It is not cowardly to be anonymous. It is just the way it works.

Welcome to the PPC
-Phobos

I think that since the Sherlock fandom is kind of small, and doesn't have that much incredibly horrible badfic as far as I know, they're assuming you mean low-average fics that aren't particularly awful.

How would you prefer to pass it along?

While the story is definitely on the "wut" side of things, commenting with "You're insane, aren't you" is not a good way to go about doing things.

That said, it appears that this story is part of a series. If you're not planning on taking it on, I think I'll start on the series once I manage to get myself Permission.

I don't know the canon well enough to tackle it and don't have the time right now for a whole new mission, just felt I had to comment because it's a really weird coincidence, heh.

I can't read the fic (I do not have a Deviant account), but it looks like something horrible.

*jump on a fighter jet and prepares to take off*

Er, I took the "scramble" in military sense. I'm STILL playing too much Ace Combat 5. But I love it. And I'm really sure the the PPC could use a fighter squadron. I mean, we've got Sun Crushers, TARDISes and portals, a couple fighters are nothing. And AC ones shoud be easy to pilot enough to keep Agent casualties low.

Thanks guys! Now I know!

[Roadblock from GIJoe appears behind him]

Roadblock: And know is half the battle!
Wait, what the--
G.I. JOOOOOOOOOOE!
...What the hell just happened?

as such, a static charge won't be good enough to set off the C4... you'll need a downright detonater designed to set off C4, before you can blow up the monkey :p

and as you've already observed, people do have many variations on mission-writing. There is a basic rhythm to missions, however; it's just a matter of taking that rhythm and fancying it up however you please.

The basic pattern is as follows (using Department of Mary-Sues procedure as an example).

1. Humourous interaction between Agents/arrival of mission on console, announced by BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

2. Agents bicker/pick disguises and/or weapons, and enter fic.

3. Agents go through fic, noting down charges and bickering/ snarking at stupid in the fic/ avoiding being seen/ taking advantage of any mentioned food or chances of sleep/ bickering/ thinking up nasty things to do to the warping characters/ ogling Lust Objects/ bickering/ all of the above.

4. Agents get Sue on her own, charge her, and kill her in as inventive a way as they feel like.

5. Agents rescue any bit-characters they decided to rescue/ neuralyse the canon characters/ steal any of the Sue's belongings they feel like/ go back to HQ.

The Department variations usually come around step 4. I'll add them in too.

Bad Slash: Agents burst in on the characters, stun them enough to stop them struggling, and exorcise them, generally by howling like loons, ringing bells and shouting "AVAUNT!" a lot.

Implausible Crossovers: Agents neuralyse the canon characters and put everything and everyone back in the canon worlds they're supposed to be in.

Geographical Aberrations: As for Mary Sues, but insert an extra step after 4: Agents burn the geographical aberration in question. Laughing dementedly is an optional extra.

Disturbng Acts of Violence: Agents rescue the character who has suffered said disturbing acts and take him/her to DAVD Physician Fizz R, then bring him/her back once healed up.

Floaters: Any of the above.

Hope this was useful!

As you've already noticed every agent as a different style of reporting their missions. This is because the only requirements to a mission are: agent(s) is/are sent into a story, take(s) note of all the chargeable offenses and in the end find(s) the Sue/Stu and charge(s) her/him. Missions that are not about an OC Sue usually end with an exorcism or retreving canon characters from cowering in plotholes.

Paperwork is usually glossed over by authors, but agents complain about it plenty.

Yes, the monkey would explode if the C4 exploded. The monkey would not explode on its own, though. Only as a side effect of the C4 exploding. I don't know whether building up static is enough to make C4 explode.

How an individual mission is written really depends on the writer, to be honest. However, barring stylistic choices, it usually goes as such:

1.) A mission is received by the agents via the console and/or given to them as punishment for an Incident (Noodle or otherwise) by the Flower that heads up their Department.

2.) After selecting 'Verse-appropriate weapons and disguises, the agents enter the affected continuum.

3.) Charges are noted and written down (these must be read to the Sue/Author Wraith if in DMS; DBS requires charges to be written but not necessarily read out loud).

4.) The force affecting the continuum (The Sue/Author Wraith/Bad Slash, etc)is killed/exorcised/banished from said continuum.

I'm not sure about the paperwork (though Glod knows there's probably enough of it to deal with), and as for the monkey, well, a better question would be do you have enough amber rods and cats on circular treadmills to create enough static electricity?

(In all seriousness, though, you'd need something other than static electricity to detonate C-4, IIRC)

That puppy is adorable.

^_^

*is a sucker for puppies*

It's so ridiculously happy xD And...adorable...No, bad Katie! *smacks self* Sue is not adorable! *smacks self* Sue must be TERMINATED. *gesticulates with third arm*
I love it

we throw this link in on the PPC wiki page, under the Mary Sue section, just to give people a taste of, how bad a Mary Sue can be?

This made the rounds some time this summer, as I recall. Still funny, though! :P

ERROR - NSFB
ERROR - NSFB
Harddrive on fire
ERROR - NSFB
ERROR - NSFB
Harddrive on fire
Nuclear explosion imminent
WARNING, WARNING
Please proceed to your nearest emergency bunker
WARNING... WARNIN... WARn...war...bbiiippp............

taking a look at the story, and see what I can find/suggest for changes. However, I would recommend a third beta reader, just to be sure.

My contact information can be found on the PPC wikia, under "PPC Beta Reader Directory"

You know, associating alcohol with flame wars isn't always that intelligent, but whenever a doozy starts I take a huge swig. Of course, I've never drunk alcohol in my entire life, but hey, when it's all virtual life and you feel like you want to kick yourself...

Okay, that wasn't the most positive introduction. Forgive me.

How are you? What fandoms do you like? (books, movies, comics, almost everything counts)

Please enjoy your stay! Here you have a first aid spray stolen from Resident Evil IV. Please don't use it on Sues.

Do not feed her Sues or Stus

Welcome! Would you like some fudge?

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this rosewood walking stick as a welcoming gift.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Have a pet cat, a spotted bat and a sea mat.
So, what are your fandoms?

Welcome, new friend! Have some pumpkin bombs. Unlike most pumpkins, these are not so great for eating. Like most bombs, however, they are excellent for blowing things up!

Hello, fellow newbie. Nice to meet you!

Hello and welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, won't you?

I'm typically bad about greeting new folk, but I visit the board so rarely that I typically just miss their threads. Anywho, welcome!

The board, on a technical level, works off of the old (and in my opinion, outdated) BBS system, wherein a person creates a thread, people reply to that thread, and eventually the thread drops off of the first page as new threads are created because, unlike most forums today, new posts in a thread don't push the thread up to the top of the page.

As for PPC fic, I'd like to direct you to the wiki (ppc.wikia.com). Writing for the PPC without Permission is frowned upon. To get permission, you have to hang around for at least a month so that folks can get to know you better, then whenever you're ready you submit a permission request consisting of a writing sample and a write-up of your planned agents.

On the subject of where to put up your stories, I'd recommend Livejournal or DeviantArt, or something similar. FF.Net (known more colorfully around here as "The Pit") tends to look unkindly upon PPC missions. At one point you could put them up, but now I believe it's against the rules. And for heaven's sake, never tell someone you're going to do a mission of their story.

Welcome!

By way of welcome presents, I have for you a pet rock and a fresh-brewed cup of House Roac hot chocolate.

Welcome and regards,
Lleu Llaw Gyffes

Here, have a dapper hat! *Hands bowler hat*

Hetalia, eh? I am so sorry for your poor slashed up eyes. Have some hot chocolate.

Enjoy your stay! Here you have a cloak made out of furry cute suvian animals. It'll keep you warm in winter.

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Hi Az! Would you like some fudge?

Obviously, we're all very friendly. I'm not really one (I'm bitter and cold after my partner died in a tragic accident involving a Sue using a Death Note. Poor guy never saw the bus coming.) but I'll be around as wise teacher and big brother figure.

For welcoming gift, here's a box of 12-gague shotgun shells. They'll come in handy.

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this cannon made entirely from duct tape. Remember to point it away from your face.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs!

Have a pet cat, a kangaroo rat and a bishop's hat.

Welcome, new friend! Help yourself to a venomous arthropod from the sack. Don't worry; they don't bite!

Have a Billowing Coat! It's long and will FLUTTER DRAMATICALLY in the wind! They work best in anime continuums.

Huh. Someone named Az. Hullo! I'm also occasionally called Az! Hope you like it here!

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Nice to see another Hetalia fan here!

Here, have some chocolate, and please enjoy your stay!

Ooh, someone else who likes Hetalia! Hooray!
Other than that, welcome, glad t'seeya, have a foam sword.

I figger you sound like you know what you're doing. Still, I'd like to direct you to my response to Goblin Girl, just in case.

Aside from that, welcome and hullo. Leave your sanity at the door.

that sounds like a very serious charge. Simpsons is funny, and different and such, but that is one subject that is too out of the box, even for them.

As for the writting itself, I'd say the SPaG of this fic, could give you a reason alone for sporking it.

As for the baby... you could send it to the Department of Medical care. Then, when it had the right age, it could be send to the Department of Personnel, where it would trained to become an agent. Either that, or erase it.... permanently.

Well, Springfield does have a huge nuclear power plant. If Lisa is somehow exposed to the radioactive material you could say that the fetus suffered so much genetic damage that it is now unviable.

On the squicky end of that, severe genetic damage usually results in spontaneous abortion of the fetus.

Wow. There are very few things I would consider bad enough to actually be funny. That story actually made the grade. Spork it!

As for the baby, this may sound slightly callous but I'd argue that it shouldn't be saved. Besides having no real defining characteristics, it's the product of brother-sister incest. You might be able to argue that Medical could ensure that there are no birth defects, but that'll always be a problem in the child's backstory.

All I can say here before I loose my temper is that I really hope so!

The first sentence...it says...Frodo's twentieth birthday party? *really, really hoping this is a spoof*

*then right eye twiches. Sees it's a sacastic site and says 'ok'. Keeps reading and finds the article in London Sunday Times. Lips twitch, grabs a axe and walks slowly away saying 'come here squirrel, squirrel! I don't wanna hurt ya!'
Really did they use it in the paper?

But... but that's nothing like the movies! No mention of Arwen at the Ford, or Legolas and the oliphants elephants, OR the Dead taking over the pirate ships!

No wonder people get so much wrong about this series.

And I can't believe there was a newspaper article that actually used that synopsis.

It's 100% parody/sarcasm - the Flying Moose used to be one of my favourite sites way back in around 2002. It's all utter crack, but entertaining utter crack.

The synopsis, as such, is most definitely intended as humour. However, I guess it is possible some Suethors may have taken it at face value.

Check out the Tolkien Sarcasm pages. Balrogs have fluffy bedroom slippers, didn't you know? And Tom Bombadil is the Witch King.

Elcalion, running off to re-read all the quality Flying Moose stuff after many years.

It excellently blends truth with complete fiction, and spirals downward into ridiculosity without a noticeable thump.
""Well, everybody ends up running around Middle-earth in different directions. Aragorn and that Dwarf and Elf whose names I can't remember go to this place with lots of horses, but inexplicably they have no racetrack. ""

Don't worry, there's enough truth in it to safely say this is probably a joke.

Given the fact that they claim parts of the story take place in Japan ...

I would not, however, put it past some Suethors to take it seriously. I've seen weirder things taken seriously.

rather amusingly horrid.

I've emailed Their Abuse Team to find out what's going on, and checked over their Terms of Service at the same time. Unless they're trying to call my missions "excessively violent" (ahahahaha), the only thing I can see that anyone could possibly claim is (sigh) copyright violation. However... I don't see it. This section of the ToS seems to indicate that at minimum I should receive a written request and 24 hours. I haven't.

We shall see.

hS

Maybe it was a general Webs problem?

By the way, did you get your March Madness picture?

~Neshomeh

I don't think he officially left or anything, but he hasn't been around much, mostly due to RL becoming busier. An e-mail or something might reach him more quickly than a post.