It's survey time, so click here~
All due apologies to Sedri.
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Survey time~ by
on 2010-02-01 06:21:00 UTC
Link to this
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*laughs* I'm scary now, am I? by
on 2010-02-02 04:17:00 UTC
Link to this
Hmm, I think I might like being a threat. What made you pick me, though? Pads, for one, can be rather unnerving if she puts her mind to it, and all you need to do to turn Trojie into a banshee is point at someone and say "they mucked with biology!" (;p)
Anyway, filled out and returned. :) -
Simple! by
on 2010-02-02 05:36:00 UTC
Link to this
It's always the quiet ones, don't you know?
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*flails* by
on 2010-02-01 18:35:00 UTC
Link to this
You forgot to list the Department of Implausible Crossovers! *flailflailflail*
Otherwise, cool survey. {= )
~Neshomeh -
Whoops, fixed. by
on 2010-02-01 18:39:00 UTC
Link to this
Blank end line for editing ate it.
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Cool by
on 2010-02-01 15:45:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm looking forward to seeing the results.
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Re: Survey time~ by
on 2010-02-01 08:02:00 UTC
Link to this
Oh good Glod I am officially old. I want to complain that there's no appropriate gender tickybox for me because I'm a woman, not a girl. When did this happen? How?
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I went with 'girl' by
on 2010-02-01 08:07:00 UTC
Link to this
but only because I'm in denial ...
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Other or Neither would work, no? (nm) by
on 2010-02-01 08:07:00 UTC
Link to this
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Something interesting... by
on 2010-02-01 22:02:00 UTC
Link to this
. . . Just came up in my mission. Okay, so I've sort-of halfway completed my first mission(second, but first punishment), and one of the Na'Vi canons did something interesting while I was charging the sue. He'd connected to a Tree of Voices just minutes before I neuralyzed the cast to make them forget plant!Sue(there's a story there, I promise), and I was wondering... Do I have to neuralyze the entire freaking planet now, or can I just have the entire damn thing, along with, Hades forbid, Eywa, be aware of the PPC? That'd be interesting. . .
The cackling nutcase a.k.a. Honu_Wahine -
And now, solutions! by
on 2010-02-02 15:25:00 UTC
Link to this
Since I can't figure out any way to neuralyze the whole of Pandora(even if you neuralized every lifeform on it, Eywa herself lacks eyes.): I'd recommend that you'd simply take advantage of the situation and do the unthinkable: Tell Eywa the truth. Tell them of the Suvian threat, and why you had to kill that beautiful, perfect, sweet, defenseless little Mary-Sue. Since you'd have to have them aware of the PPC, you'd better take advantage of it.
And if you did decide to neuralize Pandora somehow, I'd recommend starting with an orbital platform with a really big neuralyzer taped to it, hanging directly above the nightside of Pandora. Keep orbiting in synch with the nightside, and neuralize the whole of the planet over a 24-hour period. -
Two ideas by
on 2010-02-02 14:33:00 UTC
Link to this
First, a planet-wide exorcism has been done before (twice, I think), though I don't know about a neuralization. I suppose it would be possible, but you may need some help.
Second, there is the fact that in general, the canon environment protects agents because it knows that they are here to help. You could extend that to Eywa, as sort-of-a-character who the PPC wouldn't mind having on their side. I would suggest having Eywa's awareness be part of the effect of canon protecting the agents. -
There's Avatar badfic already? by
on 2010-02-02 03:41:00 UTC
Link to this
*facepalm* Of course there is.
Aren't there some canon characters that know about Mary Sues and PPC? Maybe the central consciousness, if there is one (I don't really remember from the movie.) could know about Mary Sues?
You're right; that would be interesting. -
Since it's a new canon... by
on 2010-02-02 03:08:00 UTC
Link to this
I'd say that once you got rid of the Sue it should snap back into forgetting all that.
Since that's what is intended to happen once the Sue is deadified, the canon snaps back to normal... -
Seconded. by
on 2010-02-04 21:02:00 UTC
Link to this
No reason to needlessly complicate things (unless it would be funny). Most of the time, the canon reverts back to normal when the Sue is dead.
~Neshomeh, who has not seen Avatar yet. -
Re: Something interesting... by
on 2010-02-01 23:17:00 UTC
Link to this
Ooh...I don't know.
How would you even go about neuralyzing the thing? You can't exorcise it, because it doesn't sound like he was under the influence of a posession sue. Maybe if you connected somebody to the Big Ol' Treebrain through their convenient neural hair-tentacle, and then neuralized it... no. You'd have to neuralize every eye-posesssing lifeform on the planet, and... no, that wouldn't work, because Eywa clearly stores data in her neural network...
The difficulties and/or impossibilities of neuralyzing the planet may make it unavoidable to have the entire planet aware of the PPC. But equally, having an entire canon aware of the PPC would (probably) be really bad. (but admittedly interesting.) Either way, the Sunflower is going to administer serious pain in a you-ward direction.
Nice to see somebody else who saw Avatar. -
Still finding his way around the "login" bar. (nm) by
on 2010-02-01 23:17:00 UTC
Link to this
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Which you don't need. (nm) by
on 2010-02-02 00:07:00 UTC
Link to this
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Introduction by
on 2010-02-02 02:48:00 UTC
Link to this
Hello. I just found the PPC through an Indemaat story ("NSIS") on FFnet. I read it thinking, "It's about time somebody took on these terrible stories!" Then I followed back to her website and finally to the wiki. This is a great idea.
I've never actually put pen to paper for fanfic, as I have always recognized that most of my fanfic ideas are not something I'd want to publish. I'm not a shipper, just not very good at making an episode-like story that I feel meets standards.
I do write original fic, so if I ever get the nerve up to request permission for an agent, then I'll have something to point to.
I like to read episode-like stories, episode tag stories, and good character pieces. I have read AU and slash that I liked, but not much. My favorite characters are pretty solidly het in canon, so it always involves a lot of OOC, usually by making one or sometimes both of the characters a whiny little *word meaning female dog*. I have seen it done well, though.
I don't much care for shipper stories, I have seen a few well written, but most of them are vastly OOC, usually in the same way as above for the guys.
I read a lot of NCIS, Stargate SG-1, and Stargate Atlantis. I have not seen the last season of Stargate SG-1 yet, though I'm working my way up to it on Netflix. My favorite characters to read about are Rodney and Shepherd (not shippy) from Atlantis. Tony only or with Gibbs (not shippy) from NCIS, and Daniel from Stargate SG-1. I love to read fics focused on Jonas from SG-1 too, but goodfics including Jonas in a meaningful way are one of the rarest things in fanfic, I believe. These are not really lust objects, more just my favorites to focus on and/or torture. (torture of these characters not being entirely unheard of or even really that exceptional in canon)
I have been known to read X-Men in the comic verse, mostly because I had a teenage crush on Gambit in the cartoon. Yes, I was weird. I've read very little of the actual comics. I have checked out the official site for summaries of the plots, so I have some idea of what is canon, but not enough to ever think about PPCing one of them. And there a lot that really, really deserve PPCing.
I watch Bones and House. But I don't read their fanfic, because House and Bones are rare and specialized geniuses, and I figure that very few fanficers have the intelligence/knowledge to write an episode-like story in that world. I also love Firefly (hated Serenity), but gave up on the fanfiction a long time ago. I like Star Trek-the original, Next Generation, and DS 9. I have also read the larger and less annoying of the novels such as Spock's World.
I am a big fan of Tolkien and certain Star Wars books. Anne McCaffrey is my favorite author. I especially like Pern and Petaybee. Actually, I like all of her stuff I have read, and I have read approximately 80% of the total, which is impressive when you consider she has written more than 100 books. I have never gotten into fanfiction for Pern though.
I have read and liked Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, and the Warriors. Percy Jackson is next on my list after I finish up with Warriors.
When I first heard of fanfic as a large presence on the internet, I fell into some really, really badfic from Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. I have really never been back to their sites. I don't know if this is or was very common, but the stories I ended up with had Faramir (my favorite character from the books) as a terrible weakling/victim, modern terminology/concepts spouting out of Hobbit mouths, and/or Legolas was, uh, far from noble, etc. Harry and Snape are in love (like in a sexual relationship regardless of the fact that Harry was supposed to have been 12-13 at the time. It was disgusting.
Anyway, I look forward to reading more PPC missions, and maybe someday creating an agent myself.
Miah -
Hello.. FROM THE FUTURE! by
on 2012-02-25 07:23:00 UTC
Link to this
I am Caddy! We will be friends in the future!
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Hello and Welcome! by
on 2010-02-09 14:53:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay.
P.S. I highly recommend the Percy Jackson books, especially if you're like me and love mythology. -
warriors, eh? by
on 2010-02-06 01:12:00 UTC
Link to this
are you referring to the Warriors series by Erin Hunter? on the other hand, welcome! have some C4. please be careful with it. it is not just an explosive, you can use as fuel for a fire.
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Yes by
on 2010-02-06 05:50:00 UTC
Link to this
Yes the series by Erin Hunter. I am up to the Power of 3 books. I haven't read the Bluestar Super Edition though. And for some reason my library has 2 of the 3 Sasha and Tigerstar mangas, and 2 of 3 Greystripe mangas. I have no ideas on why they'd do that.
Thanks for the C4. Did you see my favorite quote?
"Pretty," Donos said. "What do we blow up first?" Star Wars X-Wing: Solo Command, Aaron Allston.
So, C4 is a good present for me. -
Hi. by
on 2010-02-05 21:15:00 UTC
Link to this
Greetings, fellow newbie.
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Second poke! by
on 2010-02-04 20:16:00 UTC
Link to this
*poke*
May I ask what you found to hate about Serenity? I mean, I know it's not what anyone had in mind for the end of the show, but I though it did its job pretty well.
Another McCaffrey fan, eh? Cool. I think I've read about 90-95% of her work, myself. My favorites are Pern and the Freedom series, followed by Petaybee (though not the newest ones about the kids, which I haven't read) and the Talents series, especially the earlier books. I really don't like Acorna. It was all right at first, but the series went downhill after McCaffrey switched co-authors. Acorna turned into a huge canon Sue. Also not a huge fan of the Crystal Singer series. Way, WAY too much time spent on the booze sub-plot.
What are your feelings about Todd's work? I liked Dragon's Kin, but I thought Dragonsblood sucked awfully, and I haven't gotten up the courage to try the other ones.
I believe I have the only Pernese agent in the PPC, so I will take this opportunity to shamelessly plug the stories in which he appears:
DIC RC #999, Mission 3: Harry Potter and the Dragonriders of Pern, in which he is recruited.
FicPsych: Gestalt Therapy, in which lots of important things happen, many of which include him.
Coming soon is his first actual mission as an agent, which will appear at DMS RC #1110 as soon as it's out of beta. That's also where you'll find his profile (which is also on the Wiki).
If you're interested in good Pern fic, I'd recommend Astrokath's work. I don't blame you for being cautious, though. There is an awful lot of tripe in the fandom. {= P
I also agree that it's pretty much impossible to write decent House episode!fic unless you actually have some kind of degree in medicine. I consider myself fairly well educated about that sort of thing--always got As in Bio, Anatomy & Physiology, and even Epidemiology--but even knowing the liberties taken by the show, I still wouldn't attempt it. ... I tried role-playing as House once, and even though it was a crack crossover RP, I was still biting my nails and feeling woefully under-prepared despite doing research the whole time. {= P So, yeah.
Anyway! Welcome to the Board! ^_^
~Neshomeh -
Re: Second poke! by
on 2010-02-05 22:41:00 UTC
Link to this
I just felt too rushed with Serenity. Like I was playing catch up the whole film. It was disorienting how the characters had all split up, and so much time had happened since the last episode of Firefly. Maybe I would have liked the movie better if I hadn't been such a fan of Firefly. I came into Firefly when they started showing it on SciFi. I thought it was a new show, because I'd never heard of it before. Then I found out that it had been canceled a long time before. That sucked.
I haven't read the Freedom or Crystal Singer series yet. I have read almost all of the Acorna books-I think I am missing the last 1 or 2-and I thought they were okay, but yeah, I can see thee canon Sue label applying. I have just finished getting caught up on the Talent series lately, and I've enjoyed it. I have only read Dragon's Kin of his (I think that is the title I read, about the watch whers, right?)
I read all the stuff about Derik. Sounds like he'll be a good agent to read. -
Ah, yes. by
on 2010-02-06 01:05:00 UTC
Link to this
I can see how it would be disappointing if you came into the fandom not knowing it was over before it started, sorta. I got into it because everyone I knew at the time had been telling me how awesome Firefly was and how much it sucked that it was canceled. Also, I'd already been through a similar experience with Farscape's cancellation and subsequent miniseries, so I knew what to expect from Serenity with regards to the rushing to tie things up. At least they got a chance to do it at all, though.
Yeah, Dragon's Kin is the one about the watch-whers. I thought it was cool that they got some development. Dragonsblood, on the other hand, is about a dragon plague and is full of dubious science (does Todd know ANYTHING about genetics?) and a bizarre time-transcending plot device that reminded me of Redwall and really, really didn't seem to fit with Pern. At all. {= P
The Freedom series is good, though. It's got survival situations, necessity being the mother of invention, a cool anti-hero, redemption and other human(oid) drama, humans kicking alien butt against the odds, and, because it's McCaffrey, sex (in which size DOES matter) and booze. It's a good ride. {= )
~Neshomeh -
Cool by
on 2010-02-06 05:52:00 UTC
Link to this
I think that I may have the first Freedom book on my to be read shelf. I'm going to bump up its priority.
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Goodfic by
on 2010-02-06 06:10:00 UTC
Link to this
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4481881/1/On_the_Road_to_Come_What_May
This story has so many elements that are frequently misused and abused in fanfic and fantasy in general that it is a very nice surprise to see those elements handled well.
There are a lot of original characters, and all of the viewpoints are taken up by the original characters. It has a very fantasy feel to it, because it is set on a planet that is pre-steam, though barely. The thing that made me like it the most is that one of the originals is a whiny teenage prince who thinks he is the center of the world, because he is speshul. And he has to deal with a very in character Rodney McKay!
Seriously though, this is the best written fanfic I have ever read. I even opened an ffnet account just to give it a signed review. It is over 100k. At the time I had just finished reading I made note that I had noticed 6-7 typos of the spellcheck misses these type, such as "to" for "so", and that there were a couple of places that it had taken me up to a paragraph to figure out which viewpoint character had the viewpoint after a scene change.
This is well worth the time it takes to read. -
Stargate Atlantis Goodfic by
on 2010-02-06 06:30:00 UTC
Link to this
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5111582/1/The_Flowers_of_the_Field
This is a quick little 5k story by the same author. Also with original characters, also very well done. -
Greetings and salutations by
on 2010-02-04 18:40:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome! I offer you a sparkly rock. I hope your time here is long and enjoyable.
--anamia -
Re: Greetings and salutations by
on 2010-02-05 23:02:00 UTC
Link to this
Is that rock bleeding?
Oooooh shinyyyy. I like sparkly shiny things. Thank you. -
Welcome! by
on 2010-02-03 23:11:00 UTC
Link to this
Have a wet trout for smacking!
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I'm picturing.... by
on 2010-02-05 23:04:00 UTC
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The Python fish slapping dance. I get to be John Cleese with the giant frozen fish! I called it first.
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Salutations by
on 2010-02-03 01:18:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome. Have a small Gelatinous Octahedron.
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FIRST NOM! by
on 2010-02-03 00:44:00 UTC
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*eats Miah*
Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here.
*eats Miah again* -
Re: FIRST NOM! by
on 2010-02-05 23:06:00 UTC
Link to this
I don't have any left to put in the bucket. The little monsters, er-little boys, that live with me eroded it down to nothing over the last 10 years.
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Welcome by
on 2010-02-02 21:29:00 UTC
Link to this
It's nice to hear you liked my mission(s) so much you came all the way here to say hello to everybody.
I have no gift for you right now, but next NCIS mini I come across I will catch and bring back for you. -
Re: Welcome by
on 2010-02-02 22:30:00 UTC
Link to this
Thanks! I better read up on the care and feeding of the mini. :)
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Hello there! by
on 2010-02-02 21:22:00 UTC
Link to this
Nice to see more Artemis Fowl fans around the place.
Have a softnose laser. Very useful thing it is.
FYI, the Percy Jackson movie comes out this month. It might be a good idea to check out a copy of the first book before the fangirls come out of the theater. -
Re: Hello there! by
on 2010-02-02 22:26:00 UTC
Link to this
I requested it today through the library, so I'll get to read it next week.
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Welcome. Here's a tall ship. (nm) by
on 2010-02-02 20:49:00 UTC
Link to this
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Hullo! by
on 2010-02-02 16:16:00 UTC
Link to this
Have a bottle of bleeprin. It will definitely come in handy. :D
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Have a Lioness! by
on 2010-02-02 15:19:00 UTC
Link to this
She's pretty and badass, don't you agree?
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Re: Have a Lioness! by
on 2010-02-02 16:52:00 UTC
Link to this
Can I feed her on a diet of Mary Sues?
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Not too much. by
on 2010-02-03 11:10:00 UTC
Link to this
Feed her some real meat once in a while, or she'll get diabetes.
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Hello! by
on 2010-02-02 14:39:00 UTC
Link to this
Have some chocolate.
And a tip: if you're getting frustrated at finding nothing but badfic, search for fic recommendations or awards. That way you go straight to the good stuff. Also, I believe there is an LJ community where you can browse Stargate recs by category, so you could try to find that. -
Hi! by
on 2010-02-02 10:07:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome to the PPC! Here's a dagger set from the Raven Armory and a bottle of Bleeprin. *winces* I found bad fanfiction on Harry Potter websites when I first found out about it, too. Since then I've given up on reading any of it anymore. It's not such a horrible thing, though, because now I have more time for my writing.
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Hey, there! by
on 2010-02-02 05:45:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome! Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and those pesky spambots, as well. Use it for good and not
muchevil.
Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride. -
whisk by
on 2010-02-02 08:04:00 UTC
Link to this
Cool! I figure I run across more author wraiths than I do Sues, so I should get a lot of use out of that. Just have to remember to keep certain canon objects borrowed from the library. That librarian doesn't charge late fees does he?
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Welcome, new friend! by
on 2010-02-02 04:46:00 UTC
Link to this
Always good to meet someone who's interested in good fiction, and in helping good fiction. Help yourself to a venomous arthropod!
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venemous bug by
on 2010-02-02 08:02:00 UTC
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So long as it is not a walking stick bug, I'm good to go. Probably the only person ever to have a phobia not of all creepy crawlies, or spiders, or something normal like that. No. I get stuck with a phobia of stick bugs...
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Aw, but walking sticks are so cute! (nm) by
on 2010-02-02 14:06:00 UTC
Link to this
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Have some bleepka! by
on 2010-02-02 03:47:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome to our humble abode. It's nice to have another Tolkien, Star Wars, and Firefly fan. Which of the Star Wars novels do you like? I've read a bunch of them, and they definitely vary in quality.
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Star Wars by
on 2010-02-02 04:12:00 UTC
Link to this
My favorites are the X-Wing series. My all time favorite quote comes from them.
"Pretty," Donos said. "What do we blow up first?" Star Wars X-Wing: Solo Command, Aaron Allston.
I also have read the novels of the original movies, the books that come between them and just after episode 6, a couple of the ones in chronological order after Truce at Bakura, and the x wing series. I prefer the Allston/Wraith books to the Stackpole/Rogue books. I also read both Han Solo trilogies and the Corellian trilogy. The first trilogy isn't worth much, but the second is a truly worthy book. I keep aiming to read more of them to further the story, but have never gotten around to it. -
Aaron Allston is great. by
on 2010-02-02 15:40:00 UTC
Link to this
I've been meaning X-Wing series, but I just haven't got around to it. I've read some of his other SW books, though, and they're hilarious.
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Oooh, a newbie. =D by
on 2010-02-02 03:26:00 UTC
Link to this
*pokes* Squishy.
Anyway, lovely to see you here! Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. Weclome to the Board.
And now you shall never escape, mwaha... =D -
Oooh Shiiiinyyy... by
on 2010-02-02 08:08:00 UTC
Link to this
Being originally random, I can describe this shiny object in any way I choose, yes?
"How did you know I've always wanted a little bitty shiny, fully articulated replica of the stargate? It's perfect! Thank you." -
Hi! *first poke* by
on 2010-02-02 03:06:00 UTC
Link to this
I see you've already stumbled onto the wiki. ^^ If you have any sort of IM stuff you're welcome to add me if you have any questions or whatever:
fairladypsyche for AIM and YIM and with @hotmail.com for MSN, and JulyFlame (at) Gmail.com for Gtalk and my email.
There's also the PPC chatroom here. There's generally a few people in there in the evenings for North America, and you're welcome to join in. -
Is this the right place? by
on 2010-02-02 02:56:00 UTC
Link to this
Would this be a good place to start a list of candidates for missions?
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Re: Is this the right place? by
on 2010-02-02 03:07:00 UTC
Link to this
You can add them on the unclaimed badfic page if you think they need a good MSTing or PPCing. Or link them here under this topic you've just made if you want; making another topic right after this one isn't such a good idea, it bumps things off the first page.
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Shakespeare Somethingdays by
on 2010-02-03 23:16:00 UTC
Link to this
Last week, we tried something in the PPC chat: Shakespeare Somethingday, where we chose a play earlier that week and then discussed it on a day that would work (last week it was on Saturday, about the Taming of the Shrew.)
It went pretty well, so we're going to try it again this Saturday 7PM GMT/2PM Eastern/11am Pacific time.
This week's play is Othello. Everyone's invited to join if they can. :D
You can click here to join at that time. -
Sounds really cool. by
on 2010-02-05 02:31:00 UTC
Link to this
Unfortunately I can't make it on Saturday (and I haven't read Othello), but are there going to be other ones?
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Yup! by
on 2010-02-05 06:13:00 UTC
Link to this
Day generally will change, it just depends on when people can make it and when I don't work. >.>
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-sigh- and another missed Saturday by
on 2010-02-04 18:43:00 UTC
Link to this
I missed the last one, and I'll have to miss this one too. -sigh- I will try my very, absolute hardest to make it to next week's, though. -nods earnestly- Really!
--anamia -
Re: Shakespeare Somethingdays by
on 2010-02-04 02:26:00 UTC
Link to this
Sounds cool. If I have time, I will join. I'm currently taking an entire class on Shakespeare for this semester.
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Official Permission Request by
on 2010-02-04 19:01:00 UTC
Link to this
I, anamia, do hereby officially request permission to join the PPC. I vow to uphold canon and to destroy badfic, to abhore Mary Sues and to apreciate good writing. I promise to do the Duty to the best of my ability and not be swayed by foolish prejudices. I understand that, in joining the PPC I have sworn away my sanity, social life, and future career, and do willingly give these things up. I swear to be as good an agent as I find it within my power to be, and I wish to join the ranks of those who fight tirelessly against badfic in order to make canon a safer place.
So I speak, so I intend,
--anamia
Agents
Agent Sarah Vym
Age: 22
Species: Human
Gender: female
Partner: Agent Elaina Thyme
Home Continuum: Real World
Department: Department of Bad Slash, Harry Potter division
Fandom(s): Harry Potter, Earth’s Children, Twilight (emergencies only)
Lust Object(s): Draco Malfoy
Appearance: Of medium height and more than average weight. She has brown hair reaching halfway down her back which gets unbearably bushy and puffy in times of humidity or when it’s in a bad temper and which she hates. She has brown eyes and wears glasses. Sarah’s clothes are loose-fitting, and she carries a black shoulderbag with her on missions that contains the mission essentials, as well as ibuprofen, bleeprin, her iPod, and reading material. She has also been known to carry at various times rolls of duct tape in various outlandish colors including plaid, hot pink, and, at least once wilver. Please don’t ask about that. She tends to get testy when questions about her duct tape preferences. She also always has at least one matchbox on her person, though she does not smoke and is forbidden from lighting candles inside HQ (and outside of HQ, for that matter).
Personality: Sarah is short tempered and has few qualms in showing this to those she knows. Around strangers she tends to be reserved and taciturn, leading to the common assumption that she is incapable of experiencing emotions. She was, at one point, dragged into FicPsych to examine this, but her feelings for her Lust Object, Draco Malfoy, made it clear that she did indeed have most of the same emotions as others. The only one she still has trouble with is regret, and the SO has kept her out of the DMS because he fears that she might kill a cannon character who pissed her off.
However, as though to counter this public lack of emotional exuberance, Sarah is also a self-proclaimed fangirl and has very few problems admitting this. While at first this caused problems between Sarah and her partner, they have since worked this out, and Elaina has learned to tolerate Sarah’s tendency to ramble on about how adorable Draco Malfoy looks with any number of other men and boys. Her saving grace is that her fics are generally judged to be of decent quality, and are thus left alone.
Sarah is a grammar nazi and will correct everyone else’s grammar obsessively, much to their annoyance. She herself speaks perfectly, and she is well aware of this. She started her career at PPC in the Department of Technical Errors, before being transferred to DBS when she threatened to kill an author due to exceedingly poor grasp of the English language. She swears often and loudly, usually by invoking the name of various deities, whether real, fictional, or of her own creation.
Agent Elaina Thyme
Age: 23
Species: Human
Gender: female
Partner: Agent Sarah Vym
Home Continuum: Real World
Department: Department of Bad Slash, Harry Potter division
Fandom(s): Harry Potter, Gundam Wing, Yugioh,
Lust Object(s): Sirius Black, Seto Kaiba
Appearance: Elaina is short and curvy, with black hair which she keeps in braids and dark brown skin. Her eyes too are black. She likes to wear eccentric jewelry, which she removes on missions, and has her ears pierced several times. She carries a backpack with her on missions containing her exorcism supplies, a stiletto just in case, reading material, bleeprin and bleepka, and any gadgets she needs. She also has possession of the Remote Activator, since Sarah tends to be absent minded and forget it places, which is bad.
Personality: Elaina is more balanced then her partner, and presents basically the same personality to everyone she meets: confident almost to the point of being cocky, friendly, and rather snarky when she’s annoyed. She has never been dragged down to FicPsych, much to her delight, and lacks the homicidal urges that characterize many of the other PPC agents, including her partner. She carries her stiletto just in case, but has never yet had to actually use it.
Elaina, as the more levelheaded of the pair, is most often loaned out to other departments, usually the Department of Implausible Crossovers. She would much rather work in DBS, as she prefers exorcisms to neuralyzing, but will, of course, do what she is asked to do. After all, Elaina does want to keep her job. She was rather traumatized when her previous Partner, Agent Daphne Flamewright defected from PPC to stay in a Harry Potter fic and become Lucius Malfoy’s sex toy. Daphne was later removed by force from the fic and sent to be an inpatient at FicPsych, but Elaina is still fairly scarred by the whole thing, and is mistrustful of any new partner. She and Sarah clashed originally, but have since learned to get along and even respect each others’ skills.
Elaina has an obsession with blood, especially her own, and the extend of this fascination can scare even her. Her method of coping with badfic is to bite into herself until she bleeds, a habit which disgusts and disturbs her partner. Elaina is starting to get concerned about this, but has decided that, really, it’s no worse than the obsession some of her fellow agents have with bleeprin-derived products and probably healthier as well. She’s also a masochist, actually preferring the more disgusting, appalling fics. Sarah is of the opinion that she is utterly, completely insane, and Elaina has to agree. Still, it does not seem to have hurt her too much thus far.
Writing sample
Justification -
Re: Official Permission Request by
on 2010-02-05 07:51:00 UTC
Link to this
Justification is a heck of a meaningful work, and things like it are often of publishable quality. A few typos, and some stylistic things :
- "but the she turned a corner and vanished from my view and I thought no more of it." should probably be "but then she".
- "as though she were running, not from a person but from her own thoughts." probably could use a comma between "person" and "but". "But" isn't separating two independent clauses, but it is being used to show contrast, and "not from a person".
- "It was hard blow, I will admit, yet one which I too with an ease which surprised even me" should probably be "I took".
- "I had the image of her forever engrained" scans... artificially. That may be the goal, since it's probably not something the viewpoint character is proud to say, but if not I'd recommend "her image" instead of "image of her". "Engrained" is an archaic form of colouring. You probably want "ingrained", to have deeply impress into a surface.
- "I looked back at my professor only once during that ceremony, and that to shake his hand properly." is technically correct if the last "that" refers to the time the viewpoint character looked back, but it's not clear and may be read as a 'dummy subject'. "Then" is typically used when you want to refer to a time period. If you intend for it to sound archaic, though, "that" is preferred.
- "at the Royal library." may be better as "The Royal Library" or "the Royal Library". While you're not citing a specific library, it's probably best to err on the side of proper nouns here with how many Royal Libraries are treated as such in the Real World.
- "Or perhaps I am reading too much into the situation and I was the only one affected by her absence." is probably complex enough that it could take a comma between "situation" and "and". It's borderline, so try both and see what you prefer
- "when I could not avoid thinking, and I would always reply with a jest or a grin, not truly present." seems like "not truly present" is modifying an early part of the sentence. That may be the goal, if you want his thoughts as a whole to be somewhere else. If you want to focus more on the jest or grin not being there but the mind being present, it may be preferable to pull out the comma after "grin".
- "I began a respected Professor in my own right" may simply be an archaic use I'm not familiar with, but it's jarring to modern eyes. Either switching from "began" to "became" or (less likely) "Professor" to "professorship" would flow much better.
- ", and is tainted by something I could not quite name, " is technically incorrect for having the wrong tense -- "is" should probably be something like "it was" or "was". You may want this to attract the eye, but it's a dangerous tool.
- "still not pulling her hand out of mind." would hopefully be "mine".
- "long.”Gently, she tried" needs a space or two between "long." and "Gently".
- "bear to spent my remaining" should probably be "spend".
- "some happily and other less so" should probably be "others".
- There's a few of pronouns with unknown antecedents. You can almost always get away with such generic pronouns when they function as a 'dummy subject', but such an option is best reserved for when the pronoun can refer to everyone, or when who it refers to can not be identified. The most significant case of this would be "Only recently had they allowed" -- presumably referring to a generic they that watched the viewpoint character -- but "I did not see her on that first trip out" likewise relies on the knowledge that "the child" is female. We've not be given that yet, and even with that information the phrase arguably ends up feeling like it should point to the nurse anyway. Native English speakers generally won't have a problem with this matters, but it's best to read them aloud and compare them to alternative phrasings to see if a clearer version does not distract from the tone. This is a case-by-case thing, though.
- A few words -- dresses, nursery, and murmured would be the ones I noticed the most -- are repeated a few times in a short period, and then dropped from the writing. This may have been intentional and I'm missing the purpose, but there are alternative words that could be used without erring on the side of urple, or more distributed uses may reduce the issue.
-
Clarification by
on 2010-02-05 08:02:00 UTC
Link to this
And I manage to cut off parts of my own post.
* "as though she were running, not from a person but from her own thoughts." probably could use a comma between "person" and "but". "But" isn't separating two independent clauses, but it is being used to show contrast, and "not from a person" seems like it's excluded enough from the sentence. You'll need to see which you prefer, but I think adding it helps the pacing.
* "I had the image of her forever engrained" scans... artificially. That may be the goal, since it's probably not something the viewpoint character is proud to say, but if not I'd recommend "her image" instead of "image of her". "Engrained" is an archaic form of colouring. You probably want "ingrained", to have deeply impress into a surface. Engrained is similar enough that people will recognize it, and will be in some dictionaries, but ingrained is vastly preferred in normal use, and both sound about equally archaic. It's up to you what looks better though; the e does look better. -
Re: Clarification by
on 2010-02-05 16:04:00 UTC
Link to this
Thanks so much for taking the time to go through it like you did. You wouldn't by chance be interested in being my beta, would you? You have an eye for details that I could desperately use.
Glad you liked Justification despite the technical issues.
--anamia -
Re: Clarification by
on 2010-02-06 01:49:00 UTC
Link to this
I can't promise the most prompt or complete responses, but I can offer a spare set of eyeballs and the best I can do. If you want, my email is gattsuru AT gmail DOT com.
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Thank you by
on 2010-02-05 04:01:00 UTC
Link to this
I do try to reread my work, but things have a nasty habit of slipping by me, as you both noticed. I'm currently looking for a beta to help me fix that. Thanks for pointing out the issues so that I can go back and reread again with an eye towards the things you mentioned.
Again, thank you for granting permission.
--anamia -
Permission granted! by
on 2010-02-04 20:38:00 UTC
Link to this
I really enjoyed your writing sample. I was hooked from the first paragraph, which doesn't happen very often. I wanted to find out what was going on... but then, the entire point was that some things have and need no explanation. Very clever. *g* There are several small errors throughout--misplaced commas, typos, a few awkward phrases--but nothing that can't be overcome.
The green-eyed woman reminds me of my character, Jenni, before she settled down in her own original continuum. The description matches, and she was always hopping in and out of worlds like that. *g*
So, go, join the ranks of the proud, the few, the Bad Slashers. Good luck!
~Neshomeh -
Will give this a more thorough once-over after uni, but by
on 2010-02-04 20:20:00 UTC
Link to this
Having skimmed your agent bios - you say Sarah used to be in DTE and 'speaks perfectly', well, um, your commas are all over the place and I picked up a couple of spelling mistakes.
I'll read it through properly later (I'm just about to go to a meeting) but it looks promising, other than the technical issues which of course can be fixed with a nice, thorough beta job :)
- Trojie, flexing her new PG muscles -
Whoops. by
on 2010-02-04 20:41:00 UTC
Link to this
Sorry, Trojie--didn't mean to step on your toes! You posted while I was writing mine.
But yeah, I did pick up on those technical issues too. A beta should clear them up, though. I also recommend reading your writing aloud to yourself. Yes, it's weird. Yes, you'll feel silly. But you will also notice any misplaced punctuation and any phrases that just generally sound weird.
~Neshomeh -
Toes not stepped on :) by
on 2010-02-04 22:51:00 UTC
Link to this
I didn't have the time to look at it properly but I thought I'd just give those couple of notes :)
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Hello there =D by
on 2010-02-04 19:47:00 UTC
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Hiya, it's another newbie!
I found the PPC through some aimless web surfing and subsequently laughed my way through the original series and a few other missions, then found the wiki. It seemed right up my street - after all, who wouldn't love the chance to use as much violence as they like in disposing of a Sue? Mwahaha... So, I thought I'd introduce myself, and maybe be able to write a mission or two of my own one day (that is, if I can whip any of the characters hiding in my brain into shape!)
I'm into rather a lot of fandoms, but the ones I'm most obsessed with at the moment are LotR, Doctor Who, Larklight by Philip Reeve (Not that there's much of a fandom for it or it's sequels), and the Bartimaeus Trilogy, which is pretty much made of awesome. Oh, and Redwall :D
I also like zombies rather a lot. And living history. Not usually together, but that would be interesting! You may have noticed I'm a little off my trolley, but that seems to be fine here!
Well, that was a long intro. Apologies =D -
Hello, and Welcome! by
on 2010-02-15 00:21:00 UTC
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Welcome, Newbie, to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate and enjoy your stay!
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Heya by
on 2010-02-07 18:27:00 UTC
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Greetings and salutations, Catkin. Here, as a housewarming/welcoming gift, have a mutant wolf. They're good with children and 'Sue hunting, and they like to chew on everything from your shoes to your 'Sues. But don't worry, they're very friendly...
Welcome to the board, never read a badfic, and have fun with the complete abandonment of your sanity, social life, and future career.
Honu_Wahine -
adendum by
on 2010-02-07 18:28:00 UTC
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that should have read: "Never read a legendary badfic, even if someone tells you to."
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Heyo! by
on 2010-02-06 19:08:00 UTC
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Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and those pesky spambots, too. Use it for good and not much evil.
Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride. -
Hello by
on 2010-02-05 23:00:00 UTC
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Welcome! Here have a 17 foot long, wool knit scarf. (curly wig not included)
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Cozy =D Thanks! (nm) by
on 2010-02-05 23:03:00 UTC
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Hi. by
on 2010-02-05 21:20:00 UTC
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Welcome, fellow newbie. Have a hug. *hugs*
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Whoo! by
on 2010-02-05 22:52:00 UTC
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*Hugs back* Hello thar!
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Marhaba! by
on 2010-02-05 19:59:00 UTC
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... hola, bonjour, namaste, nyob zoo, etc.
I give you -- a bunch of random greetings, apparently. And some chocolate. Can't go wrong there. -
Also... by
on 2010-02-05 20:00:00 UTC
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... do you know the children's book called Catkin, with beautiful pictures?
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*Noms chocolate* by
on 2010-02-05 22:50:00 UTC
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Hello! I believe I miiight do...I seem to remember being read it. Was it about a cat?
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Ehm... by
on 2010-02-05 13:10:00 UTC
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A bit too late for me to give anything out, huh?
But what I give out today is unique! Here's a blessing. Two blessings, in fact:
花開富貴 ，出入平安。
Wishing you a prosperous Lunar New Year,
Xanthia B. -
Nice to meet you! by
on 2010-02-05 16:42:00 UTC
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And a happy New Year to you too =D Thanks for the blessings, that was really nice!
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Here at last! by
on 2010-02-05 13:04:00 UTC
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Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here. Also, fellow Larklight fan (are you by any chance a steam-punk?), here's a pair of aether-goggles. Wear them with pride.
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*Throws what is left of her sanity into the bucket* by
on 2010-02-05 16:33:00 UTC
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I feel much better already! Yay, another Larklight fan! *Tries on goggles* I'm not a steampunk, but I would like to be, haha.
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You got the mindset... by
on 2010-02-08 01:04:00 UTC
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...you got the goggles... you got the Larklight fandom... In my opinion, you're just a few steps away from "clockwork automaton", my dear.
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Have some Silver and Rosemary! by
on 2010-02-05 11:36:00 UTC
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Glad to meet a fellow Bartimaeus Trilogy fan.
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*Sniffs rosemary* Good stuff! by
on 2010-02-05 19:16:00 UTC
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One of my favourite series =D
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Welcome! by
on 2010-02-05 04:06:00 UTC
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It's always nice to have another fan of The Lord of the Rings around. Doctor Who as well.
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Thanks! Good to meet you =D (nm) by
on 2010-02-05 19:17:00 UTC
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Welcome, new friend! by
on 2010-02-05 00:22:00 UTC
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Have a venomous arthropod.
Since you bring up zombies, I will ask this: Which do you like better, the fantasy necromantic zombies, or the sci-fi/horror "Night of the Living Dead" style zombies? -
Hello :D by
on 2010-02-05 16:12:00 UTC
Link to this
Well, it's difficult to say, although I do have a slight bias towards the classic horror zombies, just because they're fun to watch shuffling around =D. When you say fantasy zombies, do you mean intelligent, human-like ones?
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zombie distinctions by
on 2010-02-05 18:46:00 UTC
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I meant the "undead minions" kind of zombie made by an evil wizard, as opposed to the brain-eating kind that usually show up in modern Earth settings due to radiation, a virus, etc. I guess it's more a difference in the mood of the story than in the zombies themselves.
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Aha by
on 2010-02-05 19:13:00 UTC
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I see what you mean. They're always good too, but the brain-eating ones are kind of cute. In a, er...evil, undead way...hehe. But yeah, I think it does depend on the story. I wonder if there's some kind of guide for categorising zombies?
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Hello! by
on 2010-02-05 00:15:00 UTC
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Welcome to the PPC! Here's a Glitter-proof shield from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin. (The shield can't be Suefied and it serves as a useful wall if you want to block out your view of the Sue at any time. Don't ask how I got the original shield to be this way. You're best off not knowing.)
A Redwall fan? Well met. It's one of my favorite book series. -
Thank you! by
on 2010-02-05 15:56:00 UTC
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Haha, I won't ask! Yay Redwall...I always get a sudden urge to read it when I feel hungry. I think it's all those descriptions of scrumptious feasts...
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Welcome! by
on 2010-02-04 22:17:00 UTC
Link to this
Because you like zombies, I offer you the position as a Captain in the Army of the Undead Zombies. Accept and you can help conquer the world (starting with Iceland). :D
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YAY! by
on 2010-02-04 22:47:00 UTC
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I am truly honoured! I shall treat my zombie minions with the love they deserve. Helping to take over the world sounds fun! I did have a plan involving evil penguins once, but that went slightly pear-shaped... If anyone asks, Iceland never existed in the first place =D
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Hiya! by
on 2010-02-04 21:47:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome to the insanity! Shortly you may see somebody with a bucket labeled "Warg Fodder" that asks you deposit your sanity there. Do so. It is the best place for your sanity during your stay here.
As long as I have your attention, have a softnose laser and a DeSued Martin Sword Carbon Copy (DMSCC, not to be confused with the Department of Mary Sues,). Please don't blast/chop off your or someone else's head, as we are short on Agents at the moment.
Thank you, and watch out for the plotholes.
XD -
Good advice... by
on 2010-02-04 22:40:00 UTC
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...in fact, I may just 'forget' to take it back if I ever leave.
Wow, laser and sword! I am much obliged to you :D *Attempts to lift Martin's sword and fails miserably* Ah, doesn't look like there's much chance of me causing any damage. Yet. -
First poke! by
on 2010-02-04 20:58:00 UTC
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*poke*
Welcome! Have a bumper sticker! It says "My Agent sporked your Mary-Sue." Enjoy. {= )
~Neshomeh -
Eep! by
on 2010-02-04 21:11:00 UTC
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*Is poked* Ooh, thanks. I'll stick that on my bumper as soon as I have one!
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O hai, I can haz newbie? by
on 2010-02-04 20:46:00 UTC
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Hello there. Lovely to meetcha, and welcome to the PPC. I approve muchly of your fandoms, though I only know LOTR and Redwall to any coherent degree.
Here, have a welcome gift. A bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. May they be very useful. -
*Hypnotised by shiny* by
on 2010-02-04 21:07:00 UTC
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Nice to meet you too =D Pebbles shall be useful indeed! Thank you!
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Greetings and Salutations by
on 2010-02-04 20:16:00 UTC
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Welcome! Delighted to have you! Please accept this gift of a sparkly rock.
Sorry to bring this up, but if I don't someone else will. In your post, you said, "(Not that there's much of a fandom for it or it's sequels)." That should be for it or its sequels, as it's a posessive, not a contraction. Again, sorry. That's just one of my pet peeves.
Still, nitpicking aside, welcome! Hope you have a long and happy stay with us.
--anamia
p.s. Off your trolley is completely fine. In fact, it's basically nornal, if anything can be said to be normal. -grins- -
Ooh, sparkly... *Hugs rock* by
on 2010-02-04 20:27:00 UTC
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Thank you! And, thanks for pointing that out *Kicks self* That's especially annoying, as apostrophes in the wrong places are normally something I hate too. Wasn't thinking (as usual), haha!
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Not to worry by
on 2010-02-05 04:02:00 UTC
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I just got reprimanded myself for comma issues. No one can be perfect. -grins-
--anamia -
Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by
on 2010-02-04 20:12:00 UTC
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First random gift!
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Wow, thanks! by
on 2010-02-04 20:22:00 UTC
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Always wanted one of these so I could pretend to be a pirate!
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OT: I'm back! by
on 2010-02-04 20:55:00 UTC
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Not that I was completely gone, but still. We have our internet back! Yay!
This means, Pads, that I AM now going to be poking you regularly until that beta-reading gets done. *pokepokepoke*
Also, I am working on an interlude that involves Nume forcing Ilraen to sit through ridiculous amounts of the Star Trek original series (and some Voyager, and possibly some Next Gen), so if there are any experts who know what things happen in which episodes and could point out some that deserve comment, I'd appreciate it. I know the first season of Voyager fairly well, but that's only because I have it on disc. The same does not apply for the others, of which I have only seen bits and pieces at random.
This is what I get for having a Trekkie character without being one myself.
~Neshomeh -
Congrats on getting your internet fixed! (nm) by
on 2010-02-05 00:36:00 UTC
Link to this
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Woot! *glomps* by
on 2010-02-04 23:43:00 UTC
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Welcome back! And huzzah for regular internet usage!
^^ -
Thanks. ^. ^ (nm) by
on 2010-02-05 20:05:00 UTC
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Whoooo. by
on 2010-02-04 22:31:00 UTC
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*applause applause*
I'd say that the 'crossover' episode between DS9 and TOS shouldn't be ignored.
Also! Join the chatroom if you can spare some time. :D? -
Woot, chat. by
on 2010-02-05 20:05:00 UTC
Link to this
That was fun. ^_^ I wish I could have stayed longer. But I shall return! Muahahaha!
Hmm, I actually used to watch DS9, but I guess I missed that one. Odd.
~Neshomeh -
Re: OT: I'm back! by
on 2010-02-04 22:06:00 UTC
Link to this
Congratulations on getting your internet connection back.
I can help with Voyager, and most of The Next Generation, as well as provide a hand at beta-reading if you'd like. I'm not so good at movie-verse TNG stuff after Insurrection, though. -
Thanks. by
on 2010-02-05 20:03:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm not really worried about Voyager, but I suspect that Next Gen might come up if Nume gets tired of torturing Ilraen with the OS. Plus, I think Ilraen would like Data. They have certain things in common.
Again, my biggest concern is knowing what important things happen in which episodes, and what order they go in, so that if I say somewhere that they watched X number of episodes in a day, I have some idea of what I should comment on. The movies may or may not come up (I'm not that far yet), but I know the OS movies well enough to cope if they do. {= )
~Neshomeh -
Re: OT: I'm back! by
on 2010-02-04 21:53:00 UTC
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Hi Nesh :)
Unfortunately I am not 'back' in any useful sense of the word, and probably won't be for another week thanks to my lack of computer access, but I can help you with Trekkie-ness once I am; I own everything except the 60s Kirk series on DVD and have a pretty good memory for details. Otherwise, I suggest you go to Memory Alpha - most episodes are described in excruciating detail over there.
:) -
Cool. by
on 2010-02-05 19:51:00 UTC
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I am aware of Memory Alpha, and plan to use it. I just don't fancy spending hours and hours reading through episode summaries in search of good stuff when I can just ask someone who knows better to point me in the right direction. {= )
~Neshomeh, who views people as the most valuable research aid. -
Fair enough. by
on 2010-02-05 23:32:00 UTC
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Email me any questions you have and I'll do my best to be a human reference text . ;)
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Happy Chinese New Year! by
on 2010-02-05 13:05:00 UTC
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恭喜發財，大吉大利!
Wishing you all a prosperous new year! (I know, new year is over, but I'm Chinese, and we celebrate the Lunar New Year)
~Xani. B -
*Forgot about this again this year* by
on 2010-02-05 21:47:00 UTC
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T'ankee, Xani. Happy New Year!
*is part asian* -
Thank you. {= ) by
on 2010-02-05 20:33:00 UTC
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I think it's good to be open to traditions other than one's own. So, thank you for sharing yours with us. {= )
~Neshomeh
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Interlude plug! by
on 2010-02-05 21:00:00 UTC
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Allow us to explain the reasoning behind this plug in a brief conversation.
LYCAENION: O hai. My Agent, Teek, has the current potential character development of a dead fish.
CASSIE: :O That sucks. What do you plan to do about it?
LYCAENION: Hmm. New partner who's nice to her might do it.
CASSIE: *rummagerummagerummage* Here, have one of mine!
LYCAENION: AWESOME. =D
CASSIE: Can has interlude of meeting? *puppy face*
LYCAENION: ...Hell, why not.
And thus Recent History was made. Check out the interlude here:
http://cassie5squared.livejournal.com/28543.html
Or here:
http://rc1764.livejournal.com/2380.html
We hope you enjoy.
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Badfic: a new genre? by
on 2010-02-06 21:21:00 UTC
Link to this
I know NCIS is a small fandom overall, but it has had an invasion of a particularly obnoxious type of badfic. I looked on the wiki to see if this has an entry, and it doesn't. I'm not sure which department this would appeal to, as most of the stories of this type are stated as being non-sexual, and most do not involve original characters. Just the canon characters twisted nearly beyond recognition. This has absolutely no basis, not even a thin, tenuous shred of basis, in canon.
Basically, they all revolve around very thin or non-existent plots that are there only to serve the purpose of having one of the characters, usually Gibbs, spank one of the other characters, usually either Tony or Abby. I didn't realize that this seems to be a problem fairly specific to NCIS until I did a word search and "spanking" comes up 212 times for NCIS, out of 499 hits with the remaining hits spread over 70 other categories.
So is anyone interested in taking down a Suethor who focuses on non-sexual spanking of adults? The main author of these has written 77 stories, and even started 2 series of stories just to continue inflicting this junk on the fandom. There are two other main authors with 45 and 35 stories apiece, although some of their stories have been inflicted on other fandoms.
I'm afraid that with these Suethors branching out into other fandoms that this could become as popular as mpreg. It already has mpreg (21 hits) beat by a long shot at NCIS.
Here's an example by the most prolific of these authors.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4203431/1/Evasive_Manoeuvres
I really did try to closely read the whole thing, but the urge to spork out my eyes if I kept it up was too strong, and the self preservation instinct kicked in causing me to skim the last half. Anybody got extra bleeprin? -
Re: Badfic: a new genre? by
on 2010-04-15 06:45:00 UTC
Link to this
Oh, I am so glad that someone else hates them too! And "non sexual" - maybe for the character, but from some of the descriptions of glowing red buttocks methinks the author is getting off on it!
I think that it's a way for people with limited abilities and imagination to devise a plot for a hurt/comfort fic. Character A does something wrong. Character B (Gibbs) spanks them. Hugs all round. It's a ready made plot device: no intelligence or imagination required. I call them "Here's one I made earlier" or "Just add spanking". -
Lord of the Rings by
on 2010-02-16 04:05:00 UTC
Link to this
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2867106/1/Little_Brothers
The hobbits need protecting in this story. This one has more sexual innuendo than some of the others I ran into, but with so many Lord of the Rings fans here I thought I'd share this one. -
What. The. F--- by
on 2010-02-18 01:40:00 UTC
Link to this
*cue incoherent string of rage*
Okay, so I was confused and offended at the idea before, but stupid me, I actually went and READ this one because it's LotR. Now I'd really like to slap somebody around. And not in any kind of "cute" hurt/comfort way, either. *folds arms and smolders*
Did you notice how MANY freaking stories that person has written? It's insane!
Argh.
It must be about power. Some people get off on power, and that's what it has to be, because why else would anyone want to write a story just to demean characters who are otherwise mature, honorable, respectable, brave, and, most importantly, ADULT beings? Not to mention reducing other, just as honorable adults to a state where they enjoy treating the former like children.
It's not cute, no matter what the reviewers think. It's twisted and degrading to everyone involved.
I might have to sic Nume and Ilraen on this. It's not remotely their department, but they're the ones most likely to be as offended about it as I am. {= P
ARGH.
~Neshomeh -
Totally by
on 2010-02-18 04:41:00 UTC
Link to this
I am trying to come up with agents, and I am going to request to work on some of this stuff in NCIS.
I think you are right. It has to be about power.
Can't wait to read a killing of that LOTR fic! -
OH NOES!!!1! D8 by
on 2010-02-07 20:06:00 UTC
Link to this
I hope it won't happen to Star Trek as well... I think Spock will be the first one featured. I don't know on which side, though.
-
Too late by
on 2010-02-07 20:43:00 UTC
Link to this
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5111853/2/Dr_McCoy_Friend_and_Guardian_of_a_Wayward_Captain
Although some sort of unstated magic has given Kirk a 14 year old body. He spends part of the story acting somewhat normal, and then the rest acting about 4 with the reactions of the other characters in line with a mental & physical age of 4. I sort of think the author forgot what age he/she wrote in the first place. Still the stated age was physically 14, mentally the same age as in the movie. Given the age of some of the characters in the movie, like Chekov being only 17, yet old enough to be mostly through with training, I have to conclude that 14 is old enough to be in Star Fleet, at least in some cases. If you are old enough to be training for your career then you are old enough to be treated as and act like an adult, so, to me, other than quality of writing, this fic is the same as the NCIS one I posted. -
OH NO THEY DIDN'T!!! by
on 2010-02-07 21:41:00 UTC
Link to this
Surprisingly, Spock is not involved.
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Re: OH NO THEY DIDN'T!!! by
on 2010-02-07 22:55:00 UTC
Link to this
I agree that it's odd. I would have bet on Spock and Kirk being the two involved.
- Not to mention this. by on 2010-02-14 20:36:00 UTC Link to this
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Spock and Kirk? Have at. by
on 2010-02-14 20:32:00 UTC
Link to this
Here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5193432/1/The_Reminder. Spock spanks Kirk and McCoy on Pike's behalf because of what they did in the movie.
There's also a spankfic with Chekov being spanked for some petty reason. Both fics are set in the new universe.
There's also a community for spankfic. http://www.fanfiction.net/community/Multi_Fandom_Corporal_Punishment_Archives/55490/ -
These people have issues (nm) by
on 2010-02-14 22:24:00 UTC
Link to this
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Yes, they do. by
on 2010-02-14 22:47:00 UTC
Link to this
I'll launch my Agents into this mess, I think.
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Yay!! by
on 2010-02-14 23:48:00 UTC
Link to this
I am very glad, someone is willing to take this mess on. It is just wrong to do this to the characters.
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I think Bad Slash and Bad Het could probably deal with it. by
on 2010-02-07 02:45:00 UTC
Link to this
The characters may not be having sex, but I can't imagine any scenario in which someone would write this WITHOUT intending it to be fetish material.
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I agree by
on 2010-02-07 03:10:00 UTC
Link to this
Bad Het was my first thought. I haven't read the fic itself yet, but to me consensual spanking is little if not sexual. Just because they're not actively having sex doesn't mean it's not sexual. Perhaps the authors should look up the meaning of BDSM? (Again, I haven't read it yet, so I'm shooting in the dark here, but even so...)
Odd that it's just NCIS, though. You'd think it would be more popular.
--anamia -
And now that I've read it by
on 2010-02-07 03:16:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm even more repulsed. Not so much by the story, which was disturbed and almost certainly out of character but tolerable, but by the reviews. -shudders-
Is it just me, or would actual officers be punished for physically abusing their underlings? That can't be legal.
--anamia -
Officers and Assault of Coworkers/Employees by
on 2010-02-07 05:24:00 UTC
Link to this
There are pretty strong prohibitions on fraternization in the Navy, arguably stronger ones than in some of the other service branches. These cover not only strictly sexual conduct between enlisted and officer individuals, but any overly familiar conduct that do not respect the relevant ranks, pay grades, or specific relationships and disrupt or discredit individuals. Other relevant regulations would include a pretty decent variety of stuff, starting at reduced pay for months and moving up to a bad conduct discharge and some jail time. There are always exceptions and cases where no one reports the matter, but it's not something you'd consider a safe action.
It'd actually be pretty funny to list out the various parts of the UCMJ these individuals are breaking, although as I said, I'm not familiar enough with the canon to say if it'd be OOC enough to be a charge.
I can actually think of some nonsexual explanations, but they're honestly a little more disturbing than the sexual ones. Spanking fetishism is at least fairly passe as compared to some of the psychological causes of most types of obsessions that involve human interaction.
Given the Flower's policy of throwing Bad Het at Bad Slashers, it seems like they'd toss it at whatever department is best equipped for the matter, Bad Slash seems like the best bet. It's certainly not something you'd want the DMS handling, there'd be dead canons everywhere. -
canon behavior by
on 2010-02-07 08:14:00 UTC
Link to this
NCIS special agents aren't in the Navy. They are often ex-Navy or Marines though. Gibbs is a former Marine Sergeant. Gibbs does not talk much, in fact in that story I linked he said more than he would normally in 3-4 full episodes. He is intensely loyal to his team. When they were split up, and Tony was actually sent to be an agent afloat (where he was completely miserable), Gibbs fought very hard to have him returned to the team. So, him threatening to send Tony to be an agent afloat is very uncanon. He also does not have the authority to do that. He could kick Tony off his team, but not determine where he went next.
This office where they are supposed to be doing this is a huge room divided by cubicle barriers into team groups. It is never fully empty of agents, even at night. It is video monitored by guards as well. So not only would these two men have to know about this and neither say anything, but any and all agents who were present at the time, the security guards, and probably the technicians in the MTAC would all have to be keeping quiet, too. And on the topic of agents not saying anything, where are the other two team members? If they just finished at an outside location then McGee and Ziva should have been in the elevator with them.
Tony is overtly a bit of a class clown, but he purposefully uses that to distract others into underestimating him. He is the primary choice for undercover missions, and spent an entire season working a special undercover mission for the Director without his team being able to catch him at it. If he was standing facing this General he was supposed to have insulted, it would be uncanon for the insult to have come out of his mouth.
Gibbs response to some kind of screw up would be along the lines of "Fix it. Now!" or "Get your head on straight, or get out." Maybe a glare and then a walk away. Gibbs is not the fatherly teacher type portrayed in the story. The one time he started being kind of fatherly nice to everyone, Tony poked at him (verbally) until he started acting like himself. That was when they had an team member shot and killed by a sniper while she was standing right next to them. It took something like that to shake Gibbs into not acting like his normal self, but note that Tony managed to contain his reaction even in that situation.
Tony would not cry. He does not act like a naughty 8 year old. He also hates hospitals and pain meds, so unless something was broken he would not have agreed to go to the ER and definitely would not have taken the meds. He came back to work either 2 or 3 weeks early after having the pneumonic plague. He doesn't whine about serious stuff. A paper cut-yeah he plays for sympathy. Something serious-no. He's actually only shown real fear and dread once in 7 seasons, and that was when they thought they were trapped on a ship with some kind of plague. He panicked for about 2 minutes that he would catch it and had already used up his 'beat the plague' card.
That's just the 'story' surrounding the actual act. I don't even know how to begin to describe how anathema that is to those characters. Gibbs would never do something like that and Tony would never accept it.
A CAD pointed at these characters in this fic would probably explode. -
Re: Badfic: a new genre? by
on 2010-02-07 01:15:00 UTC
Link to this
Even though they say "nonsexual" I really can't help but inagine the author is SOME kind of pervert. I find it really, really creepy that someone would look at the characters on that show, and think, "I want to imagine them spanking each other."
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Re: Badfic: a new genre? by
on 2010-02-07 01:37:00 UTC
Link to this
One of the author bios of the people writing this stuff between the adult canon characters of NCIS requested Star Wars fanfic of a nonscarred Darth Vader meeting and spanking Luke in the age range of 8-14. This guy also claimed to work with small children in real life. Now that is scary.
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Scariest thing I ever did hear. (nm) by
on 2010-02-07 04:37:00 UTC
Link to this
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Eurgh. Sounds like bad by
on 2010-02-06 22:47:00 UTC
Link to this
...If you feel like gouging out your eyes from that, you'll absolutely hate some of the stuff I can find...
*Wikipedias what NCIS is*
What the heck? Who in ANY MIND, right or wrong, would write such absolute garbage?! I don't know much about the show, having just wikipedia'd it, but if someone writes something like those stories for one of the things I like, I might agree with you that this just might become a plague of sorts.
I sure hope it doesn't... -
Re: Eurgh. Sounds like bad by
on 2010-02-07 00:45:00 UTC
Link to this
It is the total abuse of the characters to do this to them that gets me. The only thing they have left in common with the canon is the name and the job title.
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Mission plug by
on 2010-02-07 18:24:00 UTC
Link to this
Hi, I'm back, and I finally have a new mission. For those expecting a plant joke, I apologize--I suffered a case of editing, and the plant joke had to go. On the other hand, if anyone would like a mini-Toruk, or a mutant wolf(good for sniffing out sues, good with children, and will nibble on everything from shoes to Sues), please feel free to contact me.
The author is...something that I cannot print. The story was horrible, and a sad mark on the newest fandom. Here's a link to my mission: http://agentsams.livejournal.com/1094.html
Things have been a little weird here, and hopefully the entire canon can help out the agents a little bit more. After all, who doesn't want a sentient planet helping them actively fight?
Honu_Wahine -
Just watched the movie by
on 2010-02-15 03:52:00 UTC
Link to this
I'll read the mission tomorrow.
Also, Vague curiosity: Who else here watched the movie after having played Alpha Centauri? Even if I hadn't been mildly spoiled, I'd probably have figured out what was going on when they commented on the trees communicating. -
the mission by
on 2010-02-15 17:36:00 UTC
Link to this
Just to let you know, a day late-- I rewrote the mission, and reposted it. Here's the new link(and it's in two parts) -
http://agentsams.livejournal.com/1425.html#cutid1 That's part one
http://agentsams.livejournal.com/1741.html#cutid1 And this is part two.
Also, there's a list of minis on my main journal up for adoption--the typo Mini in the title is being offered to Chilever, but everyone else is up for adoption. Here's the link - http://ironamerica.livejournal.com/1625.html#cutid2
One question-- what's Alpha Centauri?
-Honu_Wahine -
Old video game by
on 2010-02-15 22:01:00 UTC
Link to this
Basically, the best and brightest people flee earth to a planet in orbit around Alpha Centauri prime shortly before a massive nuclear war. After some misadventures involving a terrorist organization, an assassin, a damaged fusion reactor, and some other stuff, they split into seven factions and start cities on the planetary surface, at which point they come under attack by indigenous mindworms and fast growing xenofungus. It turns out the fungus is sentient and controls the mindworms and their naval, aerial, and, in the expansion, artillery and submarine variants.
Since it's a civilization style 4X game, the exact ending is up to the player, though the consequences of the conquest, diplomatic, and economic victories are somewhat unclear. Basically, the humans merge with the planetmind, get eaten by mindworms, or burn, poison, and nuke the fungus back. Alternately, in the expansion one of the alien factions calls in home fleet. -
That's weird, but oddly cool (nm) (nm) by
on 2010-02-15 22:35:00 UTC
Link to this
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It's also generally considered one of the best 4X games by
on 2010-02-15 22:38:00 UTC
Link to this
In case you're wondering, 4X means, "Like civilization"
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Re: It's also generally considered one of the best 4X games by
on 2010-02-15 22:44:00 UTC
Link to this
Isn't Alpha Centauri considered to be what happens after the spaceship ending of a Civ game, since it's a Sid Meier game as well?
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Yup (nm) by
on 2010-02-15 22:48:00 UTC
Link to this
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Re: Mission plug by
on 2010-02-07 21:51:00 UTC
Link to this
Thank you for dealing with this monstrosity... I can't believe it, the movie is scarce a few weeks old and then this...
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Oh, I agree. by
on 2010-02-07 22:54:00 UTC
Link to this
No problem--but this ain't the only one. Want a mini or a mutant wolf? They are adoarble, but they're taking up all of my RC space. And the next mission isn't going to be any better...*sigh*.
If you're stupid or brave enough, you could take a glance at Orchidea Baia and her "Goddess of Memories." That's even worse that that fraudulent, murdering bitch.
-Honu_Wahine
(hey, how deep is the snow in your area? It's hip-deep here!) -
Re: Oh, I agree. by
on 2010-02-08 21:27:00 UTC
Link to this
I wouldn't mind one of the minis, or a mutated wolf (or both) and the snow here all melted away...
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Congratualtion... by
on 2010-02-09 00:10:00 UTC
Link to this
You are now the proud owner of the mini-Toruk, Keluturel. He enjoys fangirls, Avatar 'verse 'Sues, and Push Fruit. If you can figure out a way to take him into an Avatar fic, he can serve as an early-warning for 'Sues and chapter changes.
-Honu_Wahine(the snow came back today... And, just letting you know--there's a rewrite of this mission in the works. Check back for a complete list of minis if you want another one). -
Thanks. (nm) by
on 2010-02-09 13:36:00 UTC
Link to this
-
I propose a game: A Good Name For A Rock Band? by
on 2010-02-07 22:27:00 UTC
Link to this
To play this, you select phrases from or references to specific badfics or sporkings of badfics which you think would be a good name for a band and/or a song. For bonus points, describe what kind of music a band with that name would play.
Something like these:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AGoodNameForARockBand
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TropeNamesForABand
Provide links to the badfics/sporkings in question so we can see what you're on about. -
If I were in a band... by
on 2010-02-12 13:03:00 UTC
Link to this
It would be called For SCIENCE!
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Good Name for a Rock Band by
on 2010-02-11 01:51:00 UTC
Link to this
Physic In Their Elements from the very problematic misspellings in Backlash's Story. I'm thinking something like Jonathon Coulton's Mandlebrot Set, but without the mathematical accuracy.
Trenchcoat Martens, playing such songs as "What the hell are you?" flying in from the Chess badfic, to the tune of The Who's "Who Are You". -
Speaking of what you're on about... by
on 2010-02-10 19:57:00 UTC
Link to this
I think it might help kick-start things if you gave us a few examples yourself. It's your idea, after all. {= )
That said, Barid and I DID have some fun coming up with band names based on stuff in C*l*br**n, but I'm not sure we should post them on this supposedly family-safe Board. ^_^;
~Neshomeh -
Okay ... current favourite is "Unexpected Unicorn". by
on 2010-02-10 22:08:00 UTC
Link to this
A reference to:
1) my own sporking of "Martin's First Time" in which Martin is totally unsurprised by the random mention of a unicorn: http://chelonianmobile.livejournal.com/2007/08/10/
2) a weird Twilight one with the worst extended metaphor ever: http://community.livejournal.com/its_like_what/2336.html
Both links are not-worksafe.
"My Immortal" gives us the wonderful band name "BloodyGothicRose666":
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/MyImmortal
I also reckon there is at least one line in there which would make a good song title for said band: "Why Couldn't Satan Have Made Me Less Beautiful?" - Ooh ... "Extended Cow Metaphor" is a good one. by on 2010-02-11 17:56:00 UTC Link to this
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Ooh ... "Milking The Cow" (nm) by
on 2010-02-11 17:56:00 UTC
Link to this
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Darn, clicked the wrong button. (nm) by
on 2010-02-11 17:57:00 UTC
Link to this
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An idea? by
on 2010-02-08 13:16:00 UTC
Link to this
I've been reading several of the spin-offs, and I was thinking, "Why hasn't anyone based a book on this yet?"
Because honestly, there are some fabulous, fantastic writers in this community. If you base a book on this kind of stuff, do you need permission? I heard that writers do it all the time.
Not that I'm writing any novels, or anything like that (I'm more of a ficlet-type). Just wondering if you needed permission. It'd be nice to know.
Thanks,
~Xanthia B. -
I guess because... by
on 2010-02-08 18:39:00 UTC
Link to this
... the PPC all belongs, when you get down to it, to Jay and Acacia. It was their idea. We've added stuff, sure, but the beginning was theirs. It wouldn't be, well, right to profit from it.
There's also the fact that the PPC is full of a) in-jokes and b) fandom stuff which would be illegal in published form. So a book would lose the purpose and most of the unique trappings (no one would use the Flowers, HQ, Makes-Things or Remote Activators, for sure)... it'd be easier just to make something not based on the PPC.
hS
-
Sporkings apply to what? by
on 2010-02-08 13:51:00 UTC
Link to this
Does anybody here have a howrse account? *raises hand*
Okay, if you do, please check out this forum: http://www.howrse.com/centre/forum/?id=331985
It's a writer's forum, and full of these horrible stories. As a howrse member, if I make fun of them on howrse, I get in trouble.
SERIOUS trouble. I don't want to get kicked off the website, but it's really bad. None of them are using any fandoms, but they are pretty much all aspiring authoresses. And they also seem to be stealing some stuff from S. Meyer's Twilight Series (Though for what reason, I cannot fathom).
I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I seriously don't want to let them have their little fantasies of becoming bestselling authors. It's stupid. To summarize these stories, they're bull.
I'm being really nasty, but it's true. I feel so terrible. Am I breaking PPC protocol by being so mean?
~Xanthia B. -
Well.... by
on 2010-02-08 19:37:00 UTC
Link to this
Maybe instead of sporking you can try and give them constructive criticism? A bit of 'you did this well, but this needs work'?
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Yeah, do that. by
on 2010-02-09 00:05:00 UTC
Link to this
And if concrit doesn't work, SPORK THEIR BRAINS OUT, YO! That's my usual strategy. If they reply to constructive criticism with OMG UR SO MEEEN! whining, you can feel completely without guilt in writing a merciless parody.
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And then there's the kind in between... by
on 2010-02-09 07:50:00 UTC
Link to this
There are, of course, the ones who will run with con-crit, and genuinely make the effort to improve, and the ones who will do as Maudlin Hart says. And then there's my least favorite, the ones who take the criticism, pick it apart, and then give you back all the reasons it's not valid while completely ignoring the fact that they could be less than perfect.
What does one do with those, I wonder? A sporking, as well? It is a rather Suethor-ish thing to do, but some of them actually do have work that's not bad, just... could be better. -
Re: And then there's the kind in between... by
on 2010-02-09 13:06:00 UTC
Link to this
I always had the impression that we don't go after "not bad, just... could be better", but "so bad it's horrible" fic. It's definitely more fun and easier to spork a fic with a horrible blatant Sue, OOC characters, and bad spelling than it is to spork one with a slightly Sueish char and some typos.
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Oh, definitely. by
on 2010-02-09 16:10:00 UTC
Link to this
I think I meant more egregious flaws than that... but I've lost my train of thought. My apologies. ^^;
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Your train of thought has been derailed! (nm) by
on 2010-02-09 21:40:00 UTC
Link to this
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And I'm not even sure I was on it. by
on 2010-02-09 22:33:00 UTC
Link to this
I think what I may have been getting at is, what does one do in a case like that? I've been asked multiple times by friends in creative writing courses to look over their work, and oftentimes that's all I get back, 'your argument is invalid because of this and this and this'. How can you help someone improve, especially someone who's asked for the assistance, when they're so... defensive?
...is there even a way?
(and wow, I've sidetracked a little from the original discussion, whoops.) -
Yeah, it's a phase. by
on 2010-02-10 19:55:00 UTC
Link to this
I've been there. I think it's right in between being completely unable to accept criticism and seriously considering what other people have to say about your work. I mean, if they're constructing a lucid counter-argument, at least they are taking the time to think about what you said, even if they can't accept its validity (yet). In a best-case scenario, in time and with perspective, they'll be able to look back and understand your point, and that will help them become more receptive to criticism in the future.
Of course, there are always times when an author has to stand up and say "No, I did that on purpose, thank you very much, and it's not my fault if you didn't get it." Sometimes that's true. But mostly it isn't. That's the part it's hard for writers to learn. {= )
~Neshomeh, who is now in a phase such that she gets annoyed when people DON'T give concrit. -
Re: And I'm not even sure I was on it. by
on 2010-02-10 02:57:00 UTC
Link to this
Not really, at least until they have matured enough to want the help. If all they are doing is defending against your concrit, then they didn't really want it. I've been there, when I was less mature.
I don't know if you have heard of Critters or not, but they have a couple of articles on how to give crits to those writers that say they want the help, but don't respond well. According to the site, it isn't perfect with the occasional spats between authors and critters, but maybe it will help.
http://www.critters.org/whathow.ht -
That is an excellently interesting site, thank you. (nm) by
on 2010-02-10 19:47:00 UTC
Link to this